When I was a little girl
I dreamt of love
Sweet and pure
When I was no longer a child
I searched for love
Tempestuous and wild
When I was a young woman
I hoped for love
And thought it was coming
When I grew older
My heart grew hard
Hopeless and colder
Now when I sleep at night
Again I dream of love
And it’s what I write
©2017 what sandra thinks
In my never-ending quest to feel like a ‘normal’ person (fat chance that’s ever going to happen), I’ve been trying to drop some of the darker, more melancholy music I usually listen to… for a little while. No way that’s going away forever.
I guess this song makes me feel a little less alone. Not that these guys are going to come be my friends… but I must be one of some ‘us’ somewhere… somehow.
Everybody needs a place to call their home
Everybody needs someone to call their own
Even when you’re lonely, know you’re not alone
You’re one of us, one of us, one of us
One of us
I hope you’re enjoying the story. I think this one is a little short… but it just worked out that way…
back to you. part 8. [previous: part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7]
Why does iced coffee cost more than hot? I get that the large iced is giant compared to the large hot. However… there’s a fucking lot of ice going on in there. No way I’m actually drinking more coffee. Fuck, it’s probably less! Do not even tell me they charge to chill it. Or for the ice. Bastards. And I’m one of those freaks who often gets iced coffee in the middle of January, too.
Why is it always one of the hottest-in-hell days when I have to bake something? My son has an end-of-the-year party in one of his classes tomorrow. ‘Can you make brownies?‘ he asked me. Sure I can. When do I say no? (Not often enough, I’m sure.) So at 8:45 this morning, I was baking brownies. Despite it already being 85°F and kinda sticky. And now it’s 93. Gross. Thank god for AC. But still… I hate to use the oven on days like today. Wonder what’s for dinner.
Why did WP notify me that I have 1337 followers? Why is this a milestone? Well, I’ll tell you. I had to look it up because apparently I’m not enough of a nerd.
Leet (or “1337“), also known as eleet or leetspeak, is an alternative alphabet for many languages that is used primarily on the Internet. […] The term leet is derived from the word elite. […] The term leet is also used as an adjective to describe formidable prowess or accomplishment, especially in the fields of online gaming and in its original usage—computer hacking.(Wikipedia)
Am I elite now? All I know is I was not nerdy enough to know any of that ^ without a little research…
Why do I wake up every morning with a list of about 12 things I want to accomplish and then before I know it, it’s noon and I haven’t done squat? My motivation is seriously lacking. How does one get motivated? For anything, I mean. I guess I’m kinda lazy… because I’ve never been good at being motivated.
Why do I write silly boring posts like this? Especially when I should be doing something else?
Oh… one last thing… is this as funny to you as it is to me?
©2017 what sandra thinks
after I give all of me to fix all of you
will anyone give anything to fix me?
©2017 what sandra thinks
Yeah, I know, it should say b-day. But no. I’m going with d-day.
d-day [dee-dey]
noun
1. Military. the day, usually unspecified, set for the beginning of a planned attack.
2. June 6, 1944, the day of the invasion of western Europe by Allied forces in World War II.
3. Informal. any day of special significance, as one marking an important event or goal.
I guess this would be definition #3. Or #1. Yep, definitely the beginning of a planned attack.
I’m going to be lazy today. I’m going to eat bad foods today. I’m going to feel bad about it tomorrow. But I don’t care. I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Or I’ll just swim under it. I’m a good swimmer. Unless there are sharks. I’m afraid of sharks. I will panic and likely get eaten. I’m sure I’ll be delicious but it will end badly for me. At least the sharks will be happy.
I don’t know this yet… not for sure… but I’m betting today will be like any other day (save for the bad foods and temps in the 90s…ugh). There will be no grand gestures. And I don’t care. But small gestures might be nice. Something out of the ordinary today… originating from someone other than myself… that might make me feel good. Sigh.
I’m not happy about the rising number of years I’ve been on this planet… but I take comfort in the fact that when people see me, they guess my age at about 10 years less than the real number. That’s right everyone… I look like a teenager. Ha!
Plus, I share a birthday with this guy…
That’s got to mean something, right?
Yeah, I know… it just means we have the same birthday. But he’s awesome.
I shall stop rambling on about my birthday now. I do realize how obnoxious it is… not that that’s stopped me so far…
I’ll save you all some cake. Come on over!
©2017 what sandra thinks
Maybe I’ve spent most of my life with ‘friends‘ who were a bit selfish and self-centered. I mean, people should take care of themselves and put themselves first sometimes. That’s true. But sometimes they should focus on someone other than themselves.
Maybe that’s why I am so touched by a friend who really listens to me and doesn’t stop caring (or being there) when I’m a disastrous mess. I know I can be difficult to be around, but she puts up with me anyway.
Maybe that’s why I ‘m so touched by a friend who thinks of me and does wonderful things for me without me asking or prodding or dropping hints. Someone with no obligation to do anything for me… but she does them because that’s who she is.
My friend.
I only wish she lived down the street. Or in the same town. Or in the same state. But that doesn’t make her any less amazing.
She heard it was my birthday this weekend so she decided to send me a gift. Only it wasn’t a gift. It was gifts. It was beyond generous… too much really. It brought me to tears to know that someone out there cared enough to do such a thing for me.
How did I make a friend like this? How do I deserve a friend like this? I wish I was more like her. My life isn’t going great at the moment, and I’m afraid I sometimes get so caught up in my own issues that I’m not as good of a friend to her in return. I don’t mean to be selfish. Especially not with her… but I bet she understands… because she’s the best.
And I still selfishly wish she lived near me.
(love you.)
©2017 what sandra thinks
It’s not really painted, obviously. I took these with my phone while in a moving vehicle (no, I was not driving!) so the quality isn’t great… but the sky looked so cool.
©2017 what sandra thinks
Liam Sullivan's Ideas and Reflections
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