I knew. #poetry

From the moment we met
I knew
you were bad for me.
The way you stared
and made my insides scream
would be my ruining.
I knew
you would hurt me.
And I would never recover
from the shattered heart
you would leave behind
I knew
It was going to happen.
And I let you do it anyway.

©2018 what sandra thinks

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Posted in poetry, writing | Tagged , , | 23 Comments

remember the pineapple almond cake/bars?

Remember my almond post from before I totally failed flaked out on the Color Your World challenge? The one where I mentioned that I wanted to share a recipe? My old-school mom sent me that recipe (yes, on paper through the mail with a stamp and everything), and I thought I’d share it since some of you were interested.

As I am not a food blogger, I never thought to take a picture of the deliciousness… so I don’t have one. But trust me… it’s quite good. Almonds are one of my least favorite nuts, but that didn’t matter at all.

Pineapple Almond Bars

2 cups all-purpose flour
2 cups brown sugar, packed
1/2 cup butter (1 stick), softened
1 cup almonds, finely chopped, toasted
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp baking soda
1 egg
3/4 cup dairy sour cream
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 (8 1/4 oz) can crushed pineapple, drained
powdered sugar

Preheat oven to 350°F. Grease a 13×9 inch baking pan.

Mix flour, sugar and butter until crumbled. If necessary, get right in there with your hands. Stir in almonds. Press 2 cups of the mixture into the bottom of 13 x 9 inch greased baking pan.

To the remaining flour mixture, add cinnamon, baking soda and salt. Mix.

Beat in egg, sour cream and vanilla. Drain pineapple and stir in.

Spoon over crust.

Bake in 350°F oven for 40 minutes (check at 30 min to be safe) or until cake pulls away from sides of pan. Cool completely in pan. Dust with powdered sugar, cut into bars and serve.

dots.

I recommend enjoying with a big cup of coffee. But I recommend enjoying everything with a big cup of coffee, so take that as you will…

 

©2018 what sandra thinks… and mom… and I have no idea where she found this recipe

Posted in food, recipe, writing | Tagged , , , , , | 21 Comments

mine. #poetry

 

My fingers tremble
My toes curl
My mind races
My eyes swirl

My insides twist
My outsides quiver
My soul cries
My body shivers

My lips tease
My mouth mumbles
My heart pounds
My resolve crumbles

 


©2018 what sandra thinks

Posted in poetry, writing | Tagged , , | 21 Comments

unexplained popularity.

Explain something to me…

How come a random post of mine has so many more hits and likes than any other? I mean, three or four times as many. I’m not denying that it’s a brilliant post (ha)… but the randomness of its popularity is baffling. Why this particular post? This has happened before, too. Were these two posts linked somewhere really visible? They’re both poems… not sure if that matters. I’ve looked at the ‘referrers‘ in my stats, but that was no help… most come from the WP Reader.

Aside: I loathe the WP Reader, as it doesn’t show you my blog design or sidebar or anything… and it kills some of my formatting. (Visit my actual blog for the best ‘what sandra thinks’ experience.) /end tiny rant

I don’t think these two particular poems are standouts. I have some that I hate… and some that I love. These two are neither.

I’ll probably never know why… but I’m curious… which may not be a good thing. You know, the cat and the killing and all.


©2018 what sandra thinks

Posted in poetry, writing | Tagged , , , , , , | 70 Comments

beautiful. #poetry

I know I should
feel
beautiful
on my own
but I crave a love
that makes me
feel 
beautiful
even when I can’t
feel it alone

 

©2018 what sandra thinks

Posted in poetry, writing | Tagged , , , | 46 Comments

song of the day. #52 #music


I guess this goes with this post from yesterday…

Maybe you don’t feel special in this world of many… but someone sees you that way. And I hope someone tells you because knowing that is everything. You will make a mark on someone… several someones… and they will remember because they care.

I’m not sure where all of this is coming from… this post… and yesterday’s. Maybe it’s because my amazing friend made me feel like I truly have worth in this world… and I’m trying desperately to believe her. Maybe it’s because I don’t want to be dismissed as nothing. Maybe it’s because I’m lonely and I wish I wasn’t. And I’m pretty sure it’s because I need to remind myself regularly that I matter… and not just to blood relatives. [It’s not that they don’t count… it’s just different. I think you know what I mean… don’t you?]

This song helps me remember… that someone cares even if I’m only one light in a sky of a million stars.

• • • •

And of course, it’s impossible not to connect this to Chester’s light going out…

swirly
Should’ve stayed, were there signs, I ignored?
Can I help you, not to hurt, anymore?
We saw brilliance, when the world, was asleep
There are things that we can have, but can’t keep

If they say
Who cares if one more light goes out?
In the sky of a million stars
It flickers, flickers
Who cares when someone’s time runs out?
If a moment is all we are
Or quicker, quicker
Who cares if one more light goes out?
Well I do

The reminders, pull the floor from your feet
In the kitchen, one more chair than you need, oh
And you’re angry, and you should be, it’s not fair
Just ’cause you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it, isn’t there

If they say
Who cares if one more light goes out?
In the sky of a million stars
It flickers, flickers
Who cares when someone’s time runs out?
If a moment is all we are
Or quicker, quicker
Who cares if one more light goes out?
Well I do

[…]

song of the day

song of the day
Obviously I am not the owner of any rights to this song, video, or lyrics… just everything else… which isn’t much… ©2017-2018 what sandra thinks
Posted in music, writing | Tagged , , , , , | 33 Comments

it matters.

I have been thinking lately about how people are treated. In a general sense, yes… but I’ve been thinking more about those one-on-one interactions. And to be completely honest (and maybe far too self-involved), I’ve been thinking about myself.

• • • •

There are millions of people in the world. It’s easy to feel insignificant. It’s easy to feel like you don’t matter. Trust me, I know how easy it is. Am I someone? Do I have a purpose? Am I truly special to anyone? These questions weigh on me. And they’re always followed by… Does what I do matter to anyone?

Do you ever think this? Is it just me?

The truth is… your every action… your every interaction… your every word… matters to someone.

You may not see it. You may not feel it. But someone does. I promise. What you say, what you do, how you treat someone… it matters. Just because you don’t know it, that doesn’t mean someone isn’t there listening… and being affected by your actions… your words.

However minimal and meaningless the little things may seem, they might make someone’s day.

Or break someone’s day.

I’d love to believe I’ve never done the latter, but I probably have. That’s the thing. We don’t always know.

We make people feel things every single day whether we realize it or not. Don’t think that just because we are individual little specks in a much larger picture that what you say or do doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. It does. Likely, far more than you know.

Maybe these little things shouldn’t make or break us… but they can. I’m proof of that.

• • • •

The kindest, sweetest little gesture can mean everything to someone. [And the harsh gestures, too… but I’m ignoring the bad side for now. Yes… a first for me!] Whether it should or shouldn’t… that tiny thing can mean the world to the object of your action(s). And it can mean everything to you, too… because anyone could be taken away in an instant. It may not even be someone you thought you’d miss when that someone is gone… but maybe you will. And maybe you’ll be left smiling instead of crying because of one tiny seemingly insignificant act. It mattered. That someone mattered. And I bet you mattered to them, too.

So do that sweet thing. Say those kind words. Because it matters to someone. And because you matter. And question those harsh words. Because they matter to someone, too… because you matter.

Yes, sometimes we feel insignificant… like no one knows we’re there. I know how that feels… I know it so well it calls me by name. But somewhere inside, I have to believe that it’s not true.

Even I am significant in someone’s life. Even I matter to someone.

And so do you.

Even my words and actions matter to someone.

And so do yours.

 


©2018 what sandra thinks

art credit: source unknown

Posted in life, love, relationships, writing | Tagged , , , , | 44 Comments

#coloryourworld 0113 timberwolf #cyw

Color Your World… timberwolf

Oooh… an easy color for me. I have tons of pictures that work for this color… all the same theme… 

©2018 what sandra thinks

Posted in blogging, challenge, photography | Tagged , , , , , | 35 Comments