a to z – I know. #atozchallenge

I know. I’m four letters behind now. I owe you E, F, G and H. I can say, without a shred of doubt, that I won’t be writing all four of those tonight. I’m not even sure I’ll be able to write one.  And E was one of my favorite stories last year.

I’ve been having so much trouble writing. Then I had a really (really) bad day. Then I was baking for Easter for two days. Then it was Easter. Then I was exhausted. Then I had a sad and lonely day. And here we are.

I don’t think I was ready for this challenge this year. It kills me because I’ve felt less than prepared for some of the other years, but I’ve still kept up. This year… I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Well, I know some things that are wrong with me.

I’m frustrated with myself and my inability to write. I beat myself up over it which makes me feel worse than I already feel, thus making it even harder to write. But I have to finish even if it takes me far too long because if I don’t, I’m going to feel completely defeated.

I’m doing my best.

(And again, I wonder… Why couldn’t it be like last April when the words were pouring out of me with seemingly little effort and I was at least five letters ahead the whole time?)

Why yes, I would love to join you for a boat ride.
Hot guy: Italian model and my next husband, Simone Bredariol

p.s. — I can’t believe I’m so far behind. If I don’t start writing like crazy, I’m going to be finishing this challenge in June. 

©2023 what sandra thinks

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, sometimes blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Italy, but she would settle for a non-oceanfront home in Italy. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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8 Responses to a to z – I know. #atozchallenge

  1. Shilpa Gupte says:

    Please don’t beat yourself up for not being able to write. Write when you feel like it. Or, as my mother says, write because it makes YOU happy. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. No rush. Write when you can. I made up my own a/z once writing on a letter twice a month… and didn’t feel rushed and it kept me writing monthly

    Liked by 1 person

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