Is ‘fiction tuesday’ really so bad? I’m thinking I’m never going to come up with a new name for this. Maybe I don’t need one…
“You know, you’re not supposed to be here,” Dani said with a smile as she handed Finn a cup of coffee.
He smiled back to her and touched her cheek. “I know. But I wanted to see you. Besides, you’re not wearing your wedding dress.” Finn defended his morning visit while unknowingly distracting Dani from the confusing thoughts swimming around in her head. Until he spoke again. “I think it’s fine.”
The moment Dani heard those words, her smile vanished. ‘It’s fine.’ Fine wasn’t good enough. She didn’t want anything to be fine. She hated that Finn just said that. She took a deep breath, not wanting him to catch on that something was bothering her. But it was. She couldn’t get Adam out of her head.
The silence between Dani and Finn dragged on for an uncomfortably long time. Finally, Finn couldn’t ignore it any longer. “Dani, is something wrong?”
She took a deep breath before she spoke. Talking to Ava the night before was supposed to clear her head, but it seemed to have done the opposite. “I’ve just been thinking about some things.”
“What things?” Finn grew concerned.
“It’s nothing,” Dani avoided his question. She was still sorting it out and she knew he was not the person she should involve in her thoughts. “I’m fine.”
There it was again. That word. Fine. Dammit. Dani’s head told her she should be happy. She had this wonderful man who adored her… who would do anything for her… but she was a mess. She tried to put her uncertainties to rest. She could have a good life with Finn. She was lucky to have him. But her heart said something else.
If a life with Finn was the making of Dani’s wonderful future, she should have been content. Not troubled. And definitely not fine. She desperately wanted to feel peace. She wanted to want that life with Finn. She wanted to feel as sure about it as he did. It was right there… laid out in front of her. All she had to do was take it.
Dani tried to ignore the things that crept into her mind. She tried to dismiss any thoughts that made her doubt her life with Finn. But today was her moment of truth. If she couldn’t erase the doubt, she would never be happy.
Dani and Finn walked out to his car. With a smile on his face, Finn pulled Dani into his arms. “I love you.”
“I know you do… but you need to go. I’m supposed to be inside with Mom.”
“I think your groom will understand if you’re a little late. I’m pretty sure he’s so happy nothing could get to him today.” He kissed her.
Dani smiled and hugged him, but the uncertainty stayed with her. She closed her eyes and tried to turn off the rest of the world. But she couldn’t. Finn’s words came from his heart but they weren’t in Dani’s. So happy nothing could get to him? Dani didn’t feel happy. Not like that. She felt scared and confused. And shouldn’t Finn have been able to see that? If he was right for her, shouldn’t he have known just from the look in her eyes that she wasn’t feeling what he was feeling?
Dani tried to relax in Finn’s arms, but she struggled. She knew what she had to do and it made her more anxious than she already was. It wasn’t even a solution but it was something. And she needed to do something.
She needed to see Adam.
©2017 what sandra thinks