number twenty-eight.
I have random days when I feel pretty good. I actually feel ‘normal’. It seems that I have no control over when these days happen… or don’t happen. I’m sure someone will think it’s all under my control… and maybe someday it will be. But that day is not here yet.
Today has been a good day. And it’s about 7pm as I type these words so I hope to hell I’m not jinxing it. I even had the dreaded Mr. T appointment this morning… which, honestly, usually makes me anxious as fuck. Which really is a poor choice of words because fucking does not make me anxious. In fact, quite the opposite. Clearly I need more of that in my life.
But I digress…
the foot.
I accomplished something. It will sound like something incredibly pathetic to refer to as an ‘accomplishment’. But for me, it was…
I have phone phobia. No, not one that prevents me from satisfying my Candy Crush addiction (do I have a problem if I’m on level 1370?). My phone phobia is talking on the phone. More specifically, making phone calls. Incoming calls are doable. Outgoing calls… eek!
I can call my mother. No problem. Pretty much any other phone call feels impossible for me. Can I email or text instead? Good. Done. I have to call? Kill me now. I won’t even order a pizza… unless I can do it online. So… it’s pathetic… and when I make a phone call, it’s an accomplishment.
I have a foot injury from years ago that started bothering me a few months ago. I even asked my GP if she could recommend someone… 3 months ago… and she did… but I never called. I figured the pain would get better. No big deal. But… a couple of weeks ago, it got worse. I was starting to have trouble walking. I had to do something.
I made the call. And a few days ago, I went to see the guy. And he was awesome. And the pain is almost completely gone. Hm… I should have called a long time ago. I know this all must sound ridiculous to you… it was just a phone call.
the good sister.
A few weeks ago, while talking to my mom (yes, on the phone), I mentioned, in a stream of other thoughts, that my kids wanted to sign up for something that we just couldn’t pay for at the moment due to my unemployment. Of course, this made me feel like a horrible mother. Days later, unbeknownst to me, Mom mentioned this to my sister D. [D is a year older than me… never married… except maybe to her work.]
Last week, D texted me. “Sign the kids up for whatever they want and I will pay for it.” Then I cried. I know she can afford it and I know she loves to do things for them. But this is incredibly generous. And I was so touched that she would offer this.
And now… my kids are on their way to fulfilling their dream of becoming Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. (And yes, they bow to me…)
what sandra thinks 