what have I done?

I am not sure what sort of masochistic demon in my brain drove me to do this, but I did it. I suppose I could still back out but that seems weak. I shouldn’t be so weak. Or scared. Or fearful of enormous embarrassment.

Guys. I signed up for Writing 101: Poetry.

Poetry.

What the hell is wrong with me? I don’t write poetry. I have some angst-ridden crap from my [much] younger years. But I’m sure it’s awful. This is not something I’m good at. It’s not even something I’m comfortable with. I really cannot figure out why I did this.

I know — I don’t have to do it. I don’t have to post anything. I don’t even have to write anything. But that seems so pathetic. Even for me.

I hate that I have so much trouble doing new things in my non-internet world. Maybe doing this will help. Or it will completely humiliate me. Please bear with me and try not to pee yourselves with laughter when you begin seeing a poem each day for two weeks. 

six word third.I also did something else… I won something. An award for something I wrote. Something tiny I wrote for the six word story challenge.

The six words I wrote for the theme memory
‘I forced myself to forget you.’
…received the third highest ‘like‘ count. I know, it’s not exactly a Pulitzer, but I still got excited when I saw my name/blog in the winners post. Sometimes, it’s the little things. But you know, it’s also the big things. And I cannot help wishing this award came with a giant monetary prize. Ha. It was six words. I’m very silly.

Lastly, I did one more thing. I changed my blog headers. They randomize like before (when you refresh or go to different pages within my blog, the header changes, right?), but now the title and tagline are in different fonts and I added two new headers that are a little Christmas-ish and almost… festive [not a word that normally comes to mind when people think of me]. This change would probably go unnoticed if I didn’t draw attention to it… it was pretty subtle. But I like it.

h2-collights

I better go begin working on that first poem. Oh God. I’m so going to humiliate myself.

 

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About what sandra thinks

Sandra began writing when she was a sixth grader. She is a teller of stories through poetry, fiction, and tales from her own life. And she thinks too much. Read, think, enjoy, laugh.
This entry was posted in anxiety, award, bloggingu, fear, poetry, writing and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

25 Responses to what have I done?

  1. wallacecass says:

    I’ll do you one better. Try writing an authentic sonnet. That will make your head explode. I had that as a College Assignment back in the day. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. izabolinha says:

    Header looking beautiful 🙂
    Congratulations 🙂 It’s not a Pulitzer like you said but it’s a Stellar 😉
    And good for you on joining Writing 101 Poetry : I could never do Poetry and I admire those that can .
    Turtle Hugs 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    • Oh, it remains to be seen if I can. It’s day one and I’m already freaking out. (And dammit, I can feel the sadness setting back in… totally unrelated to the poetry, I think… what the hell??)

      Liked by 1 person

      • izabolinha says:

        Umm … Sunday Night Blues ?
        I don’t work out of the house and I still get this uneasy feeling on Sundays and I keep hating Mondays somehow !

        Liked by 2 people

        • Yes. What the F? I’m unemployed and that’s stressful enough. Why can’t I at least have a break from the hell that is Sunday night?? No fair. And tomorrow’s not even a usual Monday without the kids and John. John is off from work tomorrow so we can go Christmas shopping. Tonight shouldn’t be as bad as other Sundays! Wah.

          Like

          • izabolinha says:

            Ok! Do you know what crazy Turtle does ? she gets some music on and goes and does some task she’s been putting off for awhile …sometimes the satisfaction of getting it done plus the music pumping changes everything …:)

            Liked by 2 people

  3. SarahC says:

    You will be fine, I tried to say I am not a writer, then they said, But you write, so there ya go. I dont poem, I not poet, but they say my stuff is poem like so well here i am also in writing 101 poem a day, Welcome! 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Tiegan says:

    Poetry definitely changes a person!
    See what it’s like. And, as brutal as it may be, you do have to suck at some point. Everyone sucks before they’re amazing.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I signed up too and I am definitely not a poetry person either! We shall ride the challenges together you and I! Looking forward to seeing what you put up for it! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Mrs Fever says:

    On my ‘about this blog’ page, I list the things people might find if they read me. It goes something like: blah, blah-blah, poetry (mostly bad), blah-de-blah…

    So… You’re in good company!

    Or, you’re in some kinda company, anyway. 😉

    Don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s surprising what resonates with people. And sometimes I’ll look back at crap I posted last month or last year or whatever, that at the time I was SURE was *awful*, and I am shocked to find, in re-reading, that it doesn’t stink quite so bad as I originally thought.

    So this is me saying, “You can doo eeet!” 😀

    /end pep talk/

    Like

  7. Mrs Fever says:

    Hmmm…

    I have posted two comments to your blog today, and they have both completely disappeared. :/

    I think I am allergic to the internet.

    Like

  8. As they say, if it doesn’t challenge you it won’t change you. Maybe you’ll finish 101 having awakened your dormant inner poet. I feel your angst though, I can’t create poems. I can put together a good Limerick, they rhyme and the rules are clear. I don’t think I’ve ever understood poems so I’ve never tried to produce them. Maybe I should sign up too eh?

    Congratulations on your 3rd place in the six word story challenge, I was thinking of offering a gift voucher to the winner in 2016 – watch this space.

    Like

  9. I just read some writing tips that suggest to be a better writer you need to study poetry. I barely have time to write and edit. I don’t see me adding studying poetry. It’s great you can. Let me know how it goes. Good luck!
    P.S.
    I think it also said to study scripts and plays. I saw another version of this tip it said to study movies because they have to show and not tell.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Not to worry, my dear. Writing poetry is a great exercise for finding words to express your thoughts in ways you normally wouldn’t. You might never write another poem again after you finish W101, then again perhaps you will fall in love with it! In either case, you will benefit because it will stretch your imagination. Your stories will only improve with expanded vocabulary and imagery. It’s going to be awesome!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Dawn Marie says:

    You CAN do it, Cinderelli!!! No fears, no worries, just be wonderful you!!!

    Like

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