what sandra thinks

My favorite uncle and other u’s.

My favorite uncle is Uncle Joe. Isn’t Joe everyone’s favorite uncle? It seems like everyone has an Uncle Joe. My Uncle Joe is hilarious. He tells boob jokes during Thanksgiving dinner. That may not sound like anything special, but it is considering what he’s been through. He lost all three of his boys… one from suicide (at 16), one from a car accident (at 19) and one from cancer (at 45). But he’s strong and he remains positive. I admire him. I would never have been able to handle what he’s been dealt. So bring on the boob jokes, Uncle Joe!

•  •  •

For your entertainment [and I use the term ‘entertainment’ loosely], I present… my rejected u ideas:

I considered sharing a picture of my favorite umbrella, but it’s out in the car and I couldn’t find a picture of it online since it’s about 10 years old. Too lazy to go out to the car. It’s mostly black (obviously) with giant red flowers on it. [What? I can be cheerful.]

As I was desperate for a u post, I even thought, ‘hey, how about undergarments?‘ But I rejected that idea pretty much right away. In case you were dying to know, they are black. Obviously. What the hell else would I wear under my black wardrobe?

Someone suggested ‘my favorite urges‘ *ahem*, but I think those were covered in the cookie dough portion of the guilty pleasures post [and maybe the entire rest of that post] and all of the parts of a man’s body post.

Let’s reminisce. After all, p was five letters ago.

Damn. This guy. All of his parts are perfect. Arms. Hair. Face. Eyes. Beard. Mouth. Nose. Fucking eyebrows. Oh wait, u is for underarms. I’m sure those are perfect, too… because he is perfect. So, yeah, I’ve got urges. If I detail them, I should probably put them in a separate post with a warning for adult content. Sigh. I wonder if he’ll run away with me. 

Were there other u’s I rejected? I can’t even remember anymore. I’m going back to the p post. Bye.

p.s. — My least favorite uncle is now deceased so I feel terrible saying anything negative about him. He was nice enough, but he was weird. Not even sure I could describe him if I tried. 

My least favorite umbrella is the broken one hanging on the closet door. Why the hell don’t I throw that thing away?

My least favorite underthings would be the white ones if I had any.

My least favorite urge is the one I get to flip off (and possibly punch) idiot drivers on the road. Of course, I never act on the punching part… and I try to refrain from the flipping off, but sometimes, it’s necessary. But this probably makes me a bad person. I wish I was more mellow in general. I hate that I get all worked up over stupid stuff.

         
©2021 what sandra thinks

My favorite things.
I know… how incredibly specific of me.

I think I’m losing steam. We’re on the letter t and I’ve got nothing planned for the rest of the alphabet… with the possible exception of y.

So… here are a few of my favorite random things.

Mail [cards and letters and the occasional care package].
Writing letters is a lost art. Or at least a dying one. It’s a shame. I love sending [and receiving] *real* mail. Although it really irks me how expensive postage is on even the smallest package. More than once, I’ve paid more for shipping than the cost of what’s inside the box.

Binder clips.
The gift that keeps on giving. Chip clip, picture hanger, cord holder, bookmark, post-modern art (haven’t you ever clipped them together to make sculptures? no? just me? okay), and even… to hold papers together.

[Yes, I do own these particular binder clips.]

This letter opener.
Speaking of multi-use office supplies— I have these all over the house. I use them for everything… but hardly ever to open letters. I do not use them as weapons, though, no matter how much they look the part. Most recently, I used one to pull my hair away from my neck while my nail polish was drying. And I didn’t even accidentally stab myself in the neck. Seriously. So many uses.

I guess that picture does look pretty sinister.

Mr. Coffee coffee warmer.
Plug it in. Turn it on. Put your mug on it. Keep your mug of coffee warm even if you get distracted and forget it’s there for a half hour.

Fuzzy socks.
I honestly don’t remember what the hell I ever did before these super-fuzzy foot-blankets existed. [Yeah, I just made up ‘foot-blankets’. I think I’m going to call them that from now on.] How did I keep my feet warm at night? How did I ever feel cozy? I don’t think I did.

Hope your feet are warm.

p.s. — I know I couldn’t go backwards now that technology is where it is today, but one of my least favorite things: smartphones. I so often wish we could have stayed at a time when we ‘made our own fun’, we fought over who got to use the [corded wall] phone next, we actually talked to each other, and… we wrote letters [while wearing cozy socks and not stabbing each other with letter openers].

         
©2021 what sandra thinks

My favorite songs to sing [at the top of my lungs… while driving].
I don’t just start belting them out solo. Well, sometimes I do. But usually I am accompanied by the original artists.

Yes, I do have a playlist specifically for singing while driving.

No, I won’t list all of the songs on that playlist as there are 106. That would be crazy.

Sometime Around Midnight • The Airborne Toxic Event
One of the best songs ever. I think it’s perfection.

Take Me to Church • Hozier
I can’t stop with this song. It may be an actual addiction.

Bye Bye Bye • *NSYNC
I know, I have a disturbing obsession with this song.

Boston • Augustana
Also obsessed with this song.

There’s Nothing Holding Me Back • Shawn Mendes
Just going to quietly slip this in here.

This Is Gospel • Panic! At the Disco
There’s this piano version… it’s perfect for singing. And the video is truly awesome.

Til Kingdom Come • Coldplay
You knew there’d be at least one Coldplay song. On the full singing-like-crazy playlist, there are twenty-one Coldplay songs.

Comfortable • John Mayer
I have to be listening to the live version.

Someone You Loved • Louis Capaldi
This one. Why do I love to sing it? It’s so sad. Oh… that’s probably why.

Oblivion • Bastille
Sometimes, I even cry while I sing it.

The Man • The Killers
God, how I hated this song the first time I heard it. It’s kind of ridiculous. But then I heard it live… and I started singing it. So fun! Even if I’m not *the* man. Or even *a* man.

Hum • The Sheila Divine
The best song you’ve never heard. (Of course, you may hate it.) A local Boston band.

Not the end… but I promised I wouldn’t list the entire 106-song playlist.

p.s. — I hate women. Singers, I mean. I hate women singers. Most of them. Almost all of them. I rarely listen to female singers. Songs sung by women are my least favorite to sing. Maybe that’s weird since I’m a woman.

         
©2021 what sandra thinks

My favorite roommate.
I’m going to skip over the time when I shared a childhood room with my baby sister. I’m also going to skip the time I shared a summer place with another sister. In short, I’m going to skip relatives.

My first non-family roommate was the one I was randomly placed with in my dorm for my first year of college. Nightmare. She was a snob, but not even in the Mean Girls kind of way. It was more like, ‘Why are you even a snob?‘ I couldn’t figure out what was so great about her. I couldn’t even figure out what she thought was so great about her. And she smelled weird. And by weird I mean bad.

In my next year of college, I chose to room with my then best friend, a girl I met while living with the smelly snob. This was a mistake. E, as I shall call her, fucked with my head even though I didn’t realize it was happening at the time. I wrote a two-part post about her [and here is the rest]. It’s a long story. But one you might find interesting if you find me as fascinating as I’m sure you do.

When I studied in London, I had four roommates [two female, two male]. Hey, it’s expensive there. We were all Americans studying abroad so we hooked up [not like that] and found a great place in South Kensington that I’ll never forget. That was a great flat. I loved it there. I wish I’d stayed… never to return to my home country.

Anyway… one of the guys was a little annoying, but not extremely so. And he was hilarious when drunk or otherwise fucked up. The other guy was a total hippie. One of the girls was a whiny brat. The other girl was great. We became good friends, together experiencing all London [and several other European destinations] had to offer. Like everyone in my life, though, I lost touch with her a long time ago. She’s almost the best roommate I ever had.

For the remainder of my time at school, I lived on my own. A good choice on my part. Hung out with Randy a lot. I was in a pretty good place.

During my last year, I met David. We hit it off right away and became close friends. He had a new and not-so-serious girlfriend so I never gave any thought to anything beyond friendship. But he did. He told me he didn’t want her anymore—he wanted me. But he wouldn’t cheat, nor would I be a part of any such thing. The next day he [nicely] dumped his girlfriend and showed up at my door immediately after. Took about thirty seconds for us to jump on each other. Ahem.

I graduated that year, but David didn’t. Yes, he was a younger man. I moved home for the summer to work as much as possible and save enough money to move out. At the end of the summer, I moved to my college town to be near David. He had his dorm room, but he stayed at my apartment often. But he wasn’t really my roommate. Until he was.

After he graduated, we moved in together. We lived in the best apartment I’ve ever had… and he was the best roommate I’ve ever had. God, we had fun. It was probably the happiest time in my life [aside from my wonderful childhood].

Why am I not still with this man? Fuck if I know. I was an idiot. Or we both were. I don’t know. Our paths started to diverge and we just kind of stopped being ‘us‘. We continued living together for over six months after that. We never had any awkwardness. We were still the best of friends.

He was the best roommate I ever had. And I miss him. It’s been a long time… maybe I over-romanticize our time together. But to me, he is ‘the one that got away‘. I beat myself up over that because I feel like I was the one who let him go.

p.s. — Worst roommate I ever had? Smelly snob. And crazy bitch I mentioned in my p.s. in n-for-neighbor whose husband I slept with. [Again, before they were together! I’m not a monster!]

         
©2021 what sandra thinks

My favorite quotes… answered!
I thought I’d tell you who said the lines below.

•  •  •

“It’s nothing personal. I don’t like anybody.”
“Belief implies a level of giving a crap that I’m never going to achieve.”
[Those are both from the same source. Which might as well be me. Easy.]
House, MD from the show of the same name.

“I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman.”
[Very easy.]
Homer Simpson.

“Uh, guys, try out this couch. Nice. This is some real butt candy.”
[Maybe less easy.]
Tina from Bob’s Burgers.

Heehee… butt candy.

“I can’t remember anything. It’s like I need Google for my brain.”
[You’ll never get this one.]
Me. I totally made this one up.

p.s. — Just in case you were wondering, and I’m sure you weren’t, my favorite of those quotes above is this one: “Belief implies a level of giving a crap that I’m never going to achieve.” 

         
©2021 what sandra thinks

My favorite quotes.
This is not going to be some horrible motivational garbage. That crap makes me wretch.

It’s also not going to be another recounting of my favorite lyrics. I did that. I could do it some more, but I think I need to move on.

•  •  •

Sometimes, someone will say something that hits close to home. Or makes me laugh. Sometimes, both. And often, the things that make me laugh make other people merely smile. Or maybe even not react at all. Maybe they are not my people.

I tried to rack my brain for this post. But my memory is crap so I only came up with a few. I guess these just stuck with me on a higher level than some others. Or maybe a lower level, depending on your perspective. In fact, often the ones that make me laugh the most kind of need to be taken in context so maybe they’re only funny in my head… where they are in context.

Let’s play a little game. I’m not going to tell you the sources of these quotes. I wonder if you can figure them out. I think they’re easy… but maybe that’s because I know them.

“It’s nothing personal. I don’t like anybody.”
“Belief implies a level of giving a crap that I’m never going to achieve.”
[Those are both from the same source. Which might as well be me. Easy.]

“I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman.”
[Very easy.]

“Uh, guys, try out this couch. Nice. This is some real butt candy.”
[Maybe less easy.]

Am I immature because ‘butt candy‘ makes me laugh every time?

“I can’t remember anything. It’s like I need Google for my brain.”
[You’ll never get this one.]

Have fun guessing!

p.s. — My least favorite quote is not from a specific person. It’s not even really a quote… it’s more of a ‘saying’, I guess. It’s something that makes me want to punch someone in the face when they say it: ‘It is what it is.’ Oh god, I fucking hate that so much. Uh… Thanks Captain Obvious. It’s so stupid. Shut up.

         
©2021 what sandra thinks

My favorite part(s) of a man’s body.
Is this inappropriate? Oh well. I’ve never claimed to be otherwise. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with admiring a man’s [or a woman’s] physical attributes. It’s normal, natural, and, frankly, fun. It makes me happy, anyway.

I’m not sure this post will be as much fun for those who prefer the female form, but I suppose I can’t please everyone. So I’m going to please me.

I’m not going to be [very] dirty here. Don’t worry. [Or, I’m sorry, depending on your perspective.]

Okay, let’s begin.

Eyes. Windows to the… oh fuck that. They’re just sexy.

Hair. I just wanna touch it. The hair, I mean. Mostly.

Abs. I admit, dirty thoughts are now happening.

Facial hair. Does this count as a body part? It’s almost my absolute favorite.

Arms. My absolute favorite. Sigh.

Overall perfection. I love this man. And also this other man. And also every other man pictured in this post. Take your pick. Or don’t… I want them all. Really. I can’t choose. Hell, I’m still stuck on the ‘arms’ guys.

I think I need to be alone now. *fans self*

p.s. — I honestly do not know if I have a least favorite part of a man. Knees? No… on the right man, those are sexy, too. Some people don’t like feet, but I love sexy man feet. Big feet. Nope, can’t come up with a least favorite part. Oh balls.

         
©2021 what sandra thinks

My favorite obscenity.

Fuck. Fucking hell. Fucker. What the fuck? Fuck off.

Fuck in any form.
And it can take any form. It can be all things. I wrote all about it. You should read this. I couldn’t have said it better myself. Oh wait, that was myself.

p.s. — Yeah… I had trouble with o. This certainly wasn’t one of those well thought out posts for which I had an idea days or weeks ago. Nope. Wrote this one just now.

Least favorite obscenity? I guess stupid words that sound like a child made them up. Like craptastic or some other such fuckery. Ha.

         
©2021 what sandra thinks