My favorite uncle and other u’s.
My favorite uncle is Uncle Joe. Isn’t Joe everyone’s favorite uncle? It seems like everyone has an Uncle Joe. My Uncle Joe is hilarious. He tells boob jokes during Thanksgiving dinner. That may not sound like anything special, but it is considering what he’s been through. He lost all three of his boys… one from suicide (at 16), one from a car accident (at 19) and one from cancer (at 45). But he’s strong and he remains positive. I admire him. I would never have been able to handle what he’s been dealt. So bring on the boob jokes, Uncle Joe!
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For your entertainment [and I use the term ‘entertainment’ loosely], I present… my rejected u ideas:
I considered sharing a picture of my favorite umbrella, but it’s out in the car and I couldn’t find a picture of it online since it’s about 10 years old. Too lazy to go out to the car. It’s mostly black (obviously) with giant red flowers on it. [What? I can be cheerful.]
As I was desperate for a u post, I even thought, ‘hey, how about undergarments?‘ But I rejected that idea pretty much right away. In case you were dying to know, they are black. Obviously. What the hell else would I wear under my black wardrobe?
Someone suggested ‘my favorite urges‘ *ahem*, but I think those were covered in the cookie dough portion of the guilty pleasures post [and maybe the entire rest of that post] and all of the parts of a man’s body post.
Let’s reminisce. After all, p was five letters ago.
Damn. This guy. All of his parts are perfect. Arms. Hair. Face. Eyes. Beard. Mouth. Nose. Fucking eyebrows. Oh wait, u is for underarms. I’m sure those are perfect, too… because he is perfect. So, yeah, I’ve got urges. If I detail them, I should probably put them in a separate post with a warning for adult content. Sigh. I wonder if he’ll run away with me.
Were there other u’s I rejected? I can’t even remember anymore. I’m going back to the p post. Bye.
p.s. — My least favorite uncle is now deceased so I feel terrible saying anything negative about him. He was nice enough, but he was weird. Not even sure I could describe him if I tried.
My least favorite umbrella is the broken one hanging on the closet door. Why the hell don’t I throw that thing away?
My least favorite underthings would be the white ones if I had any.
My least favorite urge is the one I get to flip off (and possibly punch) idiot drivers on the road. Of course, I never act on the punching part… and I try to refrain from the flipping off, but sometimes, it’s necessary. But this probably makes me a bad person. I wish I was more mellow in general. I hate that I get all worked up over stupid stuff.