g: my favorite guilty pleasures. #atozchallenge

My favorite guilty pleasures.
After you read this post, delete it. Hell, burn it. No one can know. I can’t even believe I’m telling you. Maybe I will set this post to self-destruct in 24 hours.

Let’s start out slow—only mildly shameful—and go from there.

I eat No-Bake Oatmeal Cookie Dough and you can, too!
This recipe supposedly serves four normal people. In reality, it serves one non-normal cookie dough enthusiast… such as myself.

¼ cup butter, softened
¼ cup white sugar
¼ cup brown sugar
2 tbsp milk
1 tsp vanilla
½ cup white flour
¾ cup of rolled oats

  1. Pasteurize flour by microwaving on high for 1 minute 15 seconds, stirring at 15 second intervals. Note: Add a little extra flour and re-measure once finished microwaving.
  2. Cream butter and sugars together.
  3. Add milk and vanilla to creamed mixture; combine well.
  4. Add flour in two parts; combine until smooth.
  5. Add oats in three parts; mix until well integrated.
    [I like it even better after it’s been chilled… but sometimes I’m not that patient.]

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if I made only half the recipe or if I shared. But… while I have occasionally made only a half recipe, I usually make the whole thing, and I have never shared. I won’t even make it unless I’m home alone.

[Oh, how I craved it during quarantine when I was never home alone. A whole fucking year! There is only one other thing I missed as much as this during the year from hell. And I’m not getting into that here even though it could be considered a guilty pleasure, too. Or just a pleasure.]

If I don’t eat all the cookie dough in one sitting, it means either a miracle or the apocalypse has occurred. Seriously, though, if I have leftover, I hide it until I’m alone again. I even hide the recipe! This is the very definition of a guilty pleasure—it’s definitely a pleasure to eat it, but damn, do I ever feel guilty [and sometimes a bit nauseated] after I’m done.

•  •  •  •  •

I play Bye Bye Bye by *NSYNC and dance to it [with the original choreography… but I am not good at it… and I’m not a kid anymore]. This is something I also, of course, hide, but my daughter caught me once. But she can suck it because she listens to One Direction.

       

•  •  •  •  •

I read stories on the Episode app. It is so embarrassing.

•  •  •  •  •

I watch Tangled weirdly often. I’ve seen it over 100 times [lost count a long time ago]. And I cry every single time. I even have a crush on Flynn Rider. So what if he’s fictional and animated? That’s not weird, right?

•  •  •  •  •

I watch Hallmark movies. I’ve cut down a lot. Even I have limits. Who knew?

•  •  •  •  •

This last guilty pleasure is the one I’ve indulged in the most lately. It’s big. Well, it’s big for me to admit it. *anxious sigh*

I love Shawn Mendes.

There. I said it. There’s just something about him that I can’t explain since I don’t fully understand it myself. I listen to [some but not all of] his music, and I love that I can hear his smile in his voice when he sings. I also have an inappropriate crush on the young man. Emphasis on the young part. I am definitely too old for him. But he doesn’t need to know. And really, neither do you, so forget I ever said this.

•  •  •  •  •

It’s not that I think there’s anything wrong with any of this [well, the cookie dough thing is not exactly good for my health], but it all could be a bit shocking and image-shattering to many who know me.

Please don’t think less of me. I’m only human.


p.s. — I do not understand people who say ‘Reality TV’ is their guilty pleasure. Reality TV is not any kind of pleasure. It’s every kind of hell.

         
©2021 what sandra thinks

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Hawaii where she could learn to surf. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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10 Responses to g: my favorite guilty pleasures. #atozchallenge

  1. I shall cast this into the depths of the kitchen bin together with the other post that mentioned your other “too noisy” guilty pleasure. No one shall ever see them again – honest!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. eschudel says:

    Hey, as long as you are enjoying life, I say, no guilt!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ogden Fahey says:

    I been making malt loaf – its cooked, and pretty tasty – dont you fancy a flap jack? It sounds similar, but cooked – I really like stuff thats not raw! 😀 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  4. jrvincente says:

    I adore Shawn Mendes. He has some great music. I have listened to him on repeat alllll day.

    Stopping by from A to Z!
    – Jayden Vincente
    Erotic fiction author

    A to Z 2021

    Liked by 1 person

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