What do people incorrectly assume about you?
As I have for a few of these, I’m going with my first thought. Which is this:
That I am okay.
People assume that I am okay. Here, maybe not. But offline? People usually assume that I am okay, and obviously (to you and in reality), I am not.
Maybe this is all wrong. Maybe they know I’m a fucked up disaster. Maybe they’re afraid to acknowledge it.
But if they know, I wish they’d show that they do. And show that they care. Here on this blog, people recognize my cries for help. While I may not be as open offline, it’s pretty clear that I’m not okay. Yet no one tries to help. I understand that often, people don’t know what to do, how to help.
Well, I have an answer.
Tell me that you don’t know how to help but that you are there for me anyway.
Tell me I can ask if I need something.
Tell me I can do it (no matter what “it” is).
Tell me you support me.
Tell me you love me.
Tell me I am not alone.
Tell me I am a good person.
Tell me it’ll be okay—even if you don’t know that it will—even if you don’t believe it.
Because I hate being alone and ignored. And I hate being scared as hell that I’m not going to make it.
You guys would tell me it’ll be okay, right? I knew you would.
p.s. — I am feeling so fucking alone today that I feel like it’s going to kill me.
p.p.s. — Maybe this whole post is wrong. Maybe people know but they are leaving me to deal with it on my own. I’m sure that’s what needs to happen—I need to deal with it on my own and help myself—but I am struggling (obviously) and no one seems to care or they don’t even notice.
p.p.p.s. — Conversely, I hate when people assume I’m depressed as fuck when I’m feeling good. Nothing ruins me faster than having others assume I’m sad when I’m not. Having depression doesn’t mean I’m never happy or in a good mood. Just like not having depression doesn’t mean someone is always happy and never has bad days.