the aftermath.

That sounds like good name for a band. Or maybe it’s a really bad one. What do I know? I kind of like it though. Maybe there is already a band. I’m not looking it up.

Dear Readers,
I felt that I should provide a bit of an update as I have now posted twice about my kid.

It is not ideal… but nothing ever is, is it? Cinderella notwithstanding. (Although, is her situation really ideal? Running off and marrying a guy she just met? Seems risky.)

He was nervous on his way to school yesterday. He was also half asleep as he did not sleep well the night before. But then, he’s always kind of half asleep on his way to school. He does not enjoy waking up at 6:30.

For all his fears of having no friends because of the bully’s popularity, he was okay. He still isn’t so thrilled to be around this kid, but they hang out with the same people so that’s hard to avoid unless he doesn’t hang out with those guys at all. But he tells me he really doesn’t have anyone else to be friends with. He even said, “It’s not like I have a choice.” He doesn’t want to jump to being an outsider with another group. At least with this one, he’s less of an outsider.

He still wishes he had a best friend. And I really hope he finds one. Will it be one of these kids? I’m guessing no.

He texted me after school yesterday. (They are not, of course, allowed to use their phones during school. When I was a kid, it was passing notes. Now, phones. Damn, I am old.) Anyway, he said that one of the other guys told him, “Bully [not his real name] was being a jerk.” And later, one of the other guys said something similar.

And the next text was him letting me know he was going to the park again. I was a bit shocked after the level of upset he was on Friday. I didn’t know until later that the bully was with them. He didn’t do anything this time… I wonder if the other guys told him (the bully) that he was being an asshat. In their own words. I have no idea.

I apologize for my level of anxiety over this. I think it directly ties to the amount of tears I saw my son shed Friday afternoon. He literally curled up in a ball on his bed and cried. He’s never done that in his life. But… I apologize nonetheless. I embarrass myself a lot. Please don’t hold it against me. I hate that about me. I was only partially justified, I guess. Hell, I still worry about the potential of something happening again. But that’s me… overthinking and overworrying and overpanicking (and making up words). I still feel responsible for him not being fully part of the group… for him feeling a bit left out because of where we live and because of me being overcautious about him hanging out around town. But at least he doesn’t feel completely excluded.

I hope to hell this is over… that the jerkface doesn’t start up again. I admire my kid for going to the park yesterday. I think he showed the jerk that he wasn’t going to be chased away after Friday.

Still horrified (about me, not my kid),


Β©2017 what sandra thinks

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, sometimes blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Italy, but she would settle for a non-oceanfront home in Italy. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
This entry was posted in anxiety, parenting, personal, writing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

35 Responses to the aftermath.

  1. Hey man, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Don’t fuck with momma bear! Of course it broke your heart to see him crying. But y’all are obviously doing a great job with them. He didn’t shy away from it, and even got affirmation that the other kid is/was being an asshat. It’s all good. Like I said the other day, I doubt it’ll be a pattern of this asshat picking on your son. It just happened to be his turn to witness the almighty’s asshatedness. I still say he should go all Kung fu on his douchey ass next time he pulls that kinda shit. But he sounds more mature at 12 than me at 48. πŸ˜ƒ

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m so pleased to read this Sandra. Now go and practice those push ups!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The V Pub says:

    Kids find their way. Sometimes they need just a little love and a gentle nudge, and I’m sure that you’re doing that. BTW, the name Aftermath?

    Liked by 2 people

  4. theacquiescentsoul says:

    You’re worried and care for your child? Shocking…I’ve never heard of a mother doing that! (I’m being the asshat now…lol).
    There is never a need to explain yourself when it comes to worrying about your child! That is the one completely normal thing about life – a mom that loves her kids and is “in-tune” with everything going on in their kids life. I’d worry more, if you didn’t give a shit…BRAVO TO YOU MOM!

    Secondly, I think it’s a good sign that other kids can see when a bully is being a dick. That means there is still compassion in the world, so, maybe your son will find the friends he hopes to have. Time will tell, obviously.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. No apologies needed for being vulnerable. We moms have it rough worrying about our kids and I’m starting to think it never really ends!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Bravo! Now go there and do those push ups.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. gigglingfattie says:

    This is awesome news! You have one courageous kid there Sandra! Good for him for going back to the park, and I’m glad that others were on his side about it. Hope he got a good sleep last night now that the anxiety is gone.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Please god that’s the end of it. Sounds like the other kids are getting sick of his bullying too. And don’t be feeling guilty. You sound like a great mother xx

    Liked by 1 person

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