I have wanted to write this since my first blog post. It has been in my head the whole time. I haven’t written a word of it until now, but it has been screaming inside me [which would explain the headaches] for months.
The whole story is far too lengthy for a single blog post. But it needs to be told. [Okay, I need it to be told.] Shall we begin?
Part 1 – Fame.
Eighteen years ago, the internet was not what it is today. When I needed to find a way to meet people, I could have gone to a bar or signed up for some sort of class. But that was never me [not a joiner and definitely not comfortable in a social setting like a bar]. And I didn’t have any close friends in the area. I certainly wasn’t going to go bar-hopping by myself. So I had to find another way.
I chose the alternative weekly artsy newspaper [yes, newspaper… fuck, I’m old], and after probably 50 revisions, I submitted my personal ad. I swear this is a true story. A fucking personal ad.
Shockingly [especially to me], my ad was a hit. I guess even back then, in less than 40 words, my writing captivated people. Men-people. The first time I dialed the number [yes, on my landline phone] and entered my special code, I was astounded to hear the robot-voice tell me I had thirty-two messages. For a couple of weeks, I received an average of fifteen messages each day. Eventually, they trailed off. Oh, believe me, I heard lots of messages that made my skin crawl… and I quickly hit whichever number meant delete. But some were… promising.
I went on A LOT of dates.
[Aside: I have no fucking clue how on earth I was able to do this. I know my social anxiety and lack of desire to be around humans in general has worsened with age, but I still cannot believe I was able to do this, even back then.]
I remember three stand-out guys. I found a connection with each of them. One turned out to be far more interested in fooling around all the time than building the non-physical part of our relationship. I was a little bit okay with that… at first. Then, not so much. One of them sort of fizzled out. And one of them was just… perfect for me.
Jay and I dated for a while. I thought I was never going to have to weed through so many creeps and dumbasses ever again. But one night, after we watched a movie at my place, he told me he hated that he found this amazing girl [me] but he couldn’t let go of his old crush. To my knowledge, he never dated her. She was his friend and he had been madly in love with her for years. And apparently, even with someone as amazing as the girl he was dating [me], he couldn’t move on. He kissed me and left. And I never saw him again.
Within days, I received a truly unexpected phone call. From a local radio station. Part of the same media organization as that alternative newspaper. ‘Your personal ad has garnered a huge number of responses. We’d like to interview you on a live radio broadcast.’ What?! My ad was so well-written, they told me. Holy shit. Of course, it’s not like I found true love. Or untrue love. Or any Goddamn love at all.
I did the radio show with two other partner-seeking young adults. The media people took us out for dinner. They gave us all-access passes to a local music festival. It was pretty cool. And I was mildly famous… for about five minutes. [Maybe this means I still have 10 minutes of fame remaining?]
In a fascinating twist, I met other radio staffers at that music festival and became friends with them. We went out for drinks. We met up for dinners and shows and… drinks. [Did I mention drinks? Ah… maybe this is why I rarely drink now.] And before long, I met their friends. Suddenly, I had friends. I think this was the only chapter of my life when I became anything close to outgoing. Honestly, I was still the least outgoing girl in the room whenever I was with these people. But it was huge for me.
I met all sorts of interesting people. Even some marginally famous ones. A girl deejay became my best friend [until she moved to Georgia or some crap for a job]. And I met men. Lots and lots of men.
Did I mention this was also the chapter of my life when I went through my own personal sexual revolution?
Part 2 – Sandra Goes Wild.
Coming soon.
[No pun intended.]
Update – now posted:
Part 2 – Sandra Goes Wild
Part 3 – Sandra Grows Up… and Down
Part 4 – Uncomfortably Numb
Part 5 – What is Love?
Part 6 – The Love of Romance
Part 7 – Let’s Go to Bed (the final chapter)
what sandra thinks 
I feel this is extremely important for you to share this, I do so hope for a happy ending – awaiting Part 2 already xx
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I can definitely promise many emotions… and some pretty funny things, I think, too! I’m not even sure if the ending is happy or not! I’m not sure what that means?!?
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I think you know how cathartic it will be for you to write it all down – hopefully peace when you’ve finished – happiness possibly when least expected xxx
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I can’t wait to read the rest. loved that part where you suddenly got famous. pls send me the content of that ad. shall try it for myself 😉
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Haha! You know, a couple of weeks ago, I came across a bin filled with old notebooks and stories and… just tons of stuff. In one of the notebooks, I found the pages (yes, several pages) of my many drafts of that ad. So I actually do have it! I bet at one point, I had a copy of the printed ad, but I haven’t come across that yet!
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Oh, am so hopeful. Looking forward to part two!
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Sandra, I’m so pleased you made a start on this – it’s really going to help. I’m so interested to learn more. We are very similar in many ways. Keep writing! X
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I’m officially intrigued.
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I’m so so glad you are doing this !
And I believe we can expect a very good story (after all YOU are writing it , and the best ones are “real life ones” with its twists and turns and surprises along the way) Get on it girl , your 10min are eagerly waiting to come down on you (sorry , no pun intended 😉 )
Turtle Hugs ❤
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Loved reading this 🙂 I entered the game a couple of years after you – when the internet had arrived, and met my other half that way (we were quite the novelty for a few years – having met on the net).
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I really enjoyed reading this 🙂 I’m looking forward to part 2
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Can’t wait for part 2!
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A very interesting story! I’m hooked….waiting for part 2! 🙂
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Drawn in…I want more! *flashes my own personal applause sign*
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So I was totally confused for axminute because you usually refer to hubs as J… And then I was like, “Jay couldn’t let go of his crush…?!”
Oh. JAY. Not J.
Got it.
‘Kayso… Looking forward to the coming soon part. 😀
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I _knew_ that was going to be confusing! 🙂 My husband’s fake internet name is John. I suppose if I was less paranoid it would make things easier! Haha!
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Heh. Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re NOT after you… 😉
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Wow. Admire your spunk. I’d have never dared put an ad in the newspaper. And so cool that you got famous. Navigating to Part 2 now 🙂
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Well… I am clearly old because these days it would be the internet… not an actual paper! 🙂
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Sorry it took me so long to get to this! This is lovely, and that’s really neat your ad got so much attention! I really want to read it :p
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I’ll have to find that again and see how embarrassing it is… and evaluate whether posting it would be humiliating… It just a little humiliating… 🙂
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I bet those of us reading your blog would love it :p
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I know… maybe I’ll make a password protected post and whoever wants to read it can contact me for the password. Then far less than the entire world would see it!
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I think I’m probably going to do that if I ever do write about my own sexual experiences haha!
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