how I met their father.

I have wanted to write this since my first blog post. It has been in my head the whole time. I haven’t written a word of it until now, but it has been screaming inside me [which would explain the headaches] for months.

The whole story is far too lengthy for a single blog post. But it needs to be told. [Okay, I need it to be told.] Shall we begin?

Part 1 – Fame.


Eighteen years ago, the internet was not what it is today. When I needed to find a way to meet people, I could have gone to a bar or signed up for some sort of class. But that was never me [not a joiner and definitely not comfortable in a social setting like a bar]. And I didn’t have any close friends in the area. I certainly wasn’t going to go bar-hopping by myself. So I had to find another way.

I chose the alternative weekly artsy newspaper [yes, newspaper… fuck, I’m old], and after probably 50 revisions, I submitted my personal ad. I swear this is a true story. A fucking personal ad.

personal ad.

Shockingly [especially to me], my ad was a hit. I guess even back then, in less than 40 words, my writing captivated people. Men-people. The first time I dialed the number [yes, on my landline phone] and entered my special code, I was astounded to hear the robot-voice tell me I had thirty-two messages. For a couple of weeks, I received an average of fifteen messages each day. Eventually, they trailed off. Oh, believe me, I heard lots of messages that made my skin crawl… and I quickly hit whichever number meant delete. But some were… promising.

I went on A LOT of dates.

[Aside: I have no fucking clue how on earth I was able to do this. I know my social anxiety and lack of desire to be around humans in general has worsened with age, but I still cannot believe I was able to do this, even back then.]

I remember three stand-out guys. I found a connection with each of them. One turned out to be far more interested in fooling around all the time than building the non-physical part of our relationship. I was a little bit okay with that… at first. Then, not so much. One of them sort of fizzled out. And one of them was just… perfect for me.

Jay and I dated for a while. I thought I was never going to have to weed through so many creeps and dumbasses ever again. But one night, after we watched a movie at my place, he told me he hated that he found this amazing girl [me] but he couldn’t let go of his old crush. To my knowledge, he never dated her. She was his friend and he had been madly in love with her for years. And apparently, even with someone as amazing as the girl he was dating [me], he couldn’t move on. He kissed me and left. And I never saw him again.


Within days, I received a truly unexpected phone call. From a local radio station. Part of the same media organization as that alternative newspaper. ‘Your personal ad has garnered a huge number of responses. We’d like to interview you on a live radio broadcast.’ What?! My ad was so well-written, they told me. Holy shit. Of course, it’s not like I found true love. Or untrue love. Or any Goddamn love at all.

I did the radio show with two other partner-seeking young adults. The media people took us out for dinner. They gave us all-access passes to a local music festival. It was pretty cool. And I was mildly famous… for about five minutes. [Maybe this means I still have 10 minutes of fame remaining?]

In a fascinating twist, I met other radio staffers at that music festival and became friends with them. We went out for drinks. We met up for dinners and shows and… drinks. [Did I mention drinks? Ah… maybe this is why I rarely drink now.] And before long, I met their friends. Suddenly, I had friends. I think this was the only chapter of my life when I became anything close to outgoing. Honestly, I was still the least outgoing girl in the room whenever I was with these people. But it was huge for me.

I met all sorts of interesting people. Even some marginally famous ones. A girl deejay became my best friend [until she moved to Georgia or some crap for a job]. And I met men. Lots and lots of men.

Did I mention this was also the chapter of my life when I went through my own personal sexual revolution?

Part 2 – Sandra Goes Wild.

Coming soon.

[No pun intended.]


Update – now posted:
Part 2 – Sandra Goes Wild
Part 3 – Sandra Grows Up… and Down
Part 4 – Uncomfortably Numb
Part 5 – What is Love?
Part 6 – The Love of Romance
Part 7 – Let’s Go to Bed (the final chapter)

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Italy, but she would settle for a non-oceanfront home in Italy, too. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
This entry was posted in love, relationships, romance, sex, writing and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

28 Responses to how I met their father.

  1. I feel this is extremely important for you to share this, I do so hope for a happy ending – awaiting Part 2 already xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wandering Soul says:

    I can’t wait to read the rest. loved that part where you suddenly got famous. pls send me the content of that ad. shall try it for myself 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    • Haha! You know, a couple of weeks ago, I came across a bin filled with old notebooks and stories and… just tons of stuff. In one of the notebooks, I found the pages (yes, several pages) of my many drafts of that ad. So I actually do have it! I bet at one point, I had a copy of the printed ad, but I haven’t come across that yet!

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Deb says:

    Oh, am so hopeful. Looking forward to part two!


  4. beingmepresently says:

    Sandra, I’m so pleased you made a start on this – it’s really going to help. I’m so interested to learn more. We are very similar in many ways. Keep writing! X

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m officially intrigued.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. izabolinha says:

    I’m so so glad you are doing this !
    And I believe we can expect a very good story (after all YOU are writing it , and the best ones are “real life ones” with its twists and turns and surprises along the way) Get on it girl , your 10min are eagerly waiting to come down on you (sorry , no pun intended 😉 )
    Turtle Hugs ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Jonathan says:

    Loved reading this 🙂 I entered the game a couple of years after you – when the internet had arrived, and met my other half that way (we were quite the novelty for a few years – having met on the net).

    Liked by 1 person

  8. myambivalentexistence says:

    I really enjoyed reading this 🙂 I’m looking forward to part 2


  9. wentara2 says:

    Can’t wait for part 2!


  10. A very interesting story! I’m hooked….waiting for part 2! 🙂


  11. T. Wayne says:

    Drawn in…I want more! *flashes my own personal applause sign*


  12. Mrs Fever says:

    So I was totally confused for axminute because you usually refer to hubs as J… And then I was like, “Jay couldn’t let go of his crush…?!”

    Oh. JAY. Not J.

    Got it.

    ‘Kayso… Looking forward to the coming soon part. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Pingback: how I met their father. part 2. | what sandra thinks

  14. sassandsauce says:

    Wow. Admire your spunk. I’d have never dared put an ad in the newspaper. And so cool that you got famous. Navigating to Part 2 now 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Sorry it took me so long to get to this! This is lovely, and that’s really neat your ad got so much attention! I really want to read it :p

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Pingback: how I met their father. part 3. | what sandra thinks

  17. Pingback: how I met their father. part 4. | what sandra thinks

  18. Pingback: mom’s boyfriend. | what sandra thinks

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