can’t talk.

I really wanted to post something today but I trashed everything I wrote. It was just one of those frustrating days when none of the words seemed to come out right. And then I wrote this…

couple-bench

Shy and awkward
In silence by your side
I want to speak
But I am terrified
I am desperate
To speak what’s in my heart
But I’m near you
And my thoughts fall apart
I’m brave and strong
In my dreams every night
I find courage
In my head when I write
I have the words
For every emotion
For love for hate
For hope and devotion
But speaking them
Is difficult for me
I have this love
Dying to be set free
Maybe a note
A hand-written letter
To tell you how
You have made me better
I’ll find a way
Because you need to know
I adore you
You’ve changed my heart and soul

arrow1

Posted in poetry, writing | Tagged , , | 31 Comments

the boy.

Today is my son’s eleventh birthday.

The party [theme: The Flash] is set for this Saturday – at Mom’s. It involves a bit of road travel. However, as luck would have it (my kind of luck anyway… you know, the bad kind), a heavy snowstorm is forecasted for – you guessed it – Saturday.

the_flash_cw

Last winter we had a crazy-ass amount of snow. [Global warming my ass!] But snowfall this winter has been scarce (to date). So naturally, the first significant storm of the winter is set to fall on the one day I need it not to snow. Seriously. This is my life. I know it’s not the end of days, but what the fuck?

The party will likely be postponed. And once we find a new date that works for everyone, I hope to hell we don’t get another storm! Crap. I probably just jinxed it.

My poor son!

Last year, the first major snowstorm also occurred on the intended party date. And three years ago, the year my dad died, we kind of cancelled entirely. Dad was getting worse and a party, when we knew he’d be gone soon, seemed inappropriate (and he left us two weeks later…). John and I had a mini-party for the boy’s 7th that year, at home, just the four of us. It was a little depressing.

I confess, though, that I’m glad this crap happens to my son and not my daughter. The boy is pretty cool about such things. He’ll be fine no matter how many weeks the party is delayed. Conversely, my daughter would probably be having a giant hissy fit by now.

She does not take after me… at. all. I swear!

playing-with-baby

When we first arrived home from the hospital with the boy, we had no idea what the hell we were doing. I never would have believed it before I lived it, but you really do just figure it out. I didn’t read a ton of baby books, I didn’t concern myself with how others thought I should parent. I just… did it. And he was the best first baby ever. He was easy. Calm. Mellow. He slept through the night before he was three months old. [And we stupidly assumed our second baby would be equally as easy. Wrong!]

boy-hand

My son is an amazing kid. I’m not completely biased – I’m told all the time what a great kid he is… by relatives, teachers, his friends’ parents, even strangers. When he was still little… 6 months, a year, 2 years old… John and I occasionally took him with us out to dinner. More times than I can even remember, other guests would walk right up to us to tell us how incredibly well-behaved he was. He never went through a ‘tantrum’ phase. He’s just this adorable, smart, sweet kid.

He takes after me. I swear!

My boy is eleven. Wow.

~
[I hope this post wasn’t too boring!]

Posted in family, parenting, writing | Tagged , , | 14 Comments

a poem about regret.

couple-shadows

I always thought
. . .you were too perfect to be real
maybe that’s why
. . .I never believed you could feel
those things you said
. . .the sweet words spoken from your heart
and I gave up
. . .before we had a chance to start
falling in love
. . .like two strangers captivated
by something new
. . .we had never anticipated
now I’ve lost you
. . .and it’s too late to change the past
but the thing is
. . .I miss you and I know at last
we could have been
. . .so much more than I’ll ever know
you were the one
. . .I never should have let you go

arrow1

Posted in poetry, writing | Tagged , , | 11 Comments

mostly true story.

Almost two months ago, I wrote a ‘story‘ prompted by the Writing 101 course I was enrolled in at the time. The prompt was to write a single day.

I wrote this post called one day… from sleep to sleep.

I’d love for you to read it now if you never have or if you don’t remember it. Because there’s a bit more to the story… an incredibly ironic twist I didn’t include in that post… because it didn’t happen that day. But it’s too good not to share.

Okay… did you read it? Are you ready? Last chance… here goes…

arrow    arrow

I think that story was assumed to be complete fiction by all who read it. But in truth, it’s not fiction. Oh, I changed the names and I embellished a bit [so, slightly fictional… very slight], but it’s a real day I lived.

After that one day

Kristi and Andy’s relationship never really went anywhere, at least not at the time. [Shocking, right?] Months later, she got a job in the office where he worked. It was a little stalker-like, but she and Andy became friends again.

She and I became… not friends. Without going into painful detail, I will summarize: She tried to ruin my life.

But I have a very devious sense of satisfaction.

I slept with her husband.

Oh, no cheating… on his part or mine.

Kristi is now Andy’s wife. And I have no idea if she knows what happened that day years ago.

But I’m guessing no.

~
© 2016 what sandra thinks

 

 

Posted in fiction, sex, writing | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

limerick poetry challenge: magic

sleepinggirl-2

Limerick Poetry Challenge at Mind and Life Matters – This week’s prompt: magic

The magic of your touch makes me melt –
The most beautiful I have ever felt.
Though real you may seem,
You’re only a dream,
But I can’t bear to bid you farewell.

Posted in challenge, poetry, writing | Tagged | 7 Comments

six word story: amusement.

This week’s prompt for the Six Word Story challenge is… Amusement.

Comment likes at Sometimes Stellar Storyteller are votes — if you like my story, please head on over and like my comment/story there. And maybe enter your own – it’s fun!

This week, I went with my immediate thought upon reading the prompt — amusement park. Here’s my story…

Stop this thing! Let me off!

scary.

Crazy roller coasters — love them! But these things scare the hell out of me!

xo ♥

 

Posted in challenge, microfiction, minifiction, writing | Tagged , , , , | 11 Comments

fiction friday 8: roses are blue.

fiction-friday-bg


fiction friday 8.
roses-title-trans
  [But first: Blue 1 | Blue 2 | Blue 3 | Blue 4 | Blue 5 | Blue 6 | Blue 7]

PG-rating no longer applies

Continued from part 7…

Kate and Des lost themselves in each other. They may have spent their entire lives together, but not like this. Everything was new. And beautiful.

Kate never felt the softness of his lips and the roughness of his unshaven face quite like this. And she never felt him in every part of her the way she did when he kissed her.

Des couldn’t get enough of her deliciously sweet tongue, her fingers in his hair, the curves of her body against his. He hated to take his mouth from hers, but he had to see her eyes. He had to read her the way only he could. He opened his eyes and waited for hers. When she stared back at him, he saw the hint of a smile in her gaze.

When Kate saw the look on his sweet face, her insides melted. She took her fingers from his hair and touched his face, slowly running her thumb over his lips. ‘Des…’ She pulled him back to her and their mouths crashed into delicious kisses.

They hungered for each other, unable to slow their racing hearts. And they didn’t want to. Des slipped his hand under her top and ran his touch up her side. She moaned softly into their kiss… into his mouth. She took her teasing lips from his and he pulled her shirt off and dropped it aside.

Kate grabbed his tee shirt and nearly ripped it from him. The moment it was gone, she took his head in her hands. She had to have his mouth again. Tiny sweet moans fell from them into their kisses. When he felt her slip a hand between them, he met it with his own. He helped her rid herself of everything still covering her. Except him.

Her lips left his, slowly burning a trail to his neck. She tasted him, gently sucking on his warm skin. When she heard him moan for her, she smiled into her kisses, teasing him until she heard him again. ‘Oh God…’ She played with his ear, tasting him, toying with him. When she felt him fidgeting with his jeans, she snuck a hand between them to help him. Her mouth left his skin and her breaths quickened. Des kicked his clothes away and lifted himself over her.

Honey…’ Des’s mouth fell to hers with a long lingering kiss. Her hands squeezed his shoulders, nudging him lower. But she didn’t need to. He already wanted every inch of her. His warm touch ran agonizingly slowly up her side, drawing a sweet sigh from her mouth. And when he wrapped his hand around her breast, she gasped at the perfect gentle warmth of his touch. He teased her with his thumb, his fingers, until he couldn’t wait any longer. He parted his lips and his tongue tasted her.  And he adored hearing her breath fall her with a long satisfied moan.

love.

Des…’ She couldn’t catch her breath and she didn’t care. ‘Oh God…’ Her fingers dove into his hair and she pulled his mouth closer to her body, needing more. He willingly gave her everything she wanted. Everything he wanted. For a tiny moment, he thought he was lost in a dream. When his tongue swirled on her, she sighed for him. And when he sucked her into his mouth, she moaned for more. He knew it was real. He knew she was real. And warm and bare and beautiful. He never wanted to take his mouth from her. Even as he felt her hand reach down between them, his tongue played on her.

She found him, hot and ready, and took him in her hand. When she wrapped her fingers around him, he felt it all the way up to his heart. His mouth had to leave her body. ‘Katie…‘ Every move she made felt like nothing else on earth. ‘Oh my God…’ He was dying to have more of her… all of her.

He inhaled anxiously before another deep breathy moan floated over her skin. He ran the back of his hand over her stomach, slowly, knowing how ticklish she was. He heard the tiniest giggle slip out of her mouth. She made him smile. When he reached her center, hot and wet and dying for his touch, he gasped. And so did she.

Mm… Des… honey…’ She pushed her body closer to his touch. When he felt that, he wanted more. They both did. Des slowly pulled his fingers from her and lifted them to his mouth. He licked one, marveling at the sweet beautiful taste of her. She took her hand from him and brought it to his neck. She pulled his mouth back to hers and tasted herself on his tongue. Her legs parted and wrapped around his body pulling him to her. Still kissing her wildly, he slowly pushed himself inside her. Deep moans of pure satisfaction escaped their mouths in that beautiful moment.

They moved in unison, her hips and his, dancing to the pounding of their hearts. Still she played with his mouth, kissing him, sucking his lip between hers. Her hand in his hair and the other on his back grasped him tighter, harder. She panted with him and moaned with him. He pushed harder, deeper inside her and her legs pulled him in. But no matter how intense their motions grew, they couldn’t get close enough to each other.

Des opened his eyes and lifted his gaze to watch her. Her eyes remained closed and her lips parted. Her labored breaths fell with the sweetest moans. Seeing her like that melted everything inside him. He stared, watching her suck her lower lip into her mouth and bite down on it. He couldn’t help himself from letting her name slip from his mouth in a long slow moan. ‘Katie…’

When she heard him, her eyes opened . She took her hand from the back of his shoulder and covered his cheek with it. Her legs again tightened around him and her hips lifted toward his. Their panting breaths escalated. He slid inside her, mesmerized by everything about her. The way she felt, the way she looked, the way she touched him.

Kate trembled under him. And Des felt it. He felt it everywhere. The passion they shared heightened to a brand new place. With a sudden sharp breath, Kate’s head fell back into her pillow. Her eyes fell closed and her grip on his head tightened with the intensity of their moment. She moaned for him. ‘Oh God… Des…’ Her intoxicated sounds sent him over the edge.

Katie… God, honey…‘ His mouth fell to hers as he filled her up.

Their bodies fell weak. Des collapsed onto her and she cradled his head in the curve of her neck. She felt him kiss her softly there while they tried to catch their breath. Long moments passed in beautiful, content silence but for their breathy panting and thumping hearts. Finally, while gently combing her fingers through his hair, Kate whispered his name.

Des…?’

He lifted his head and rested it on the pillow beside her. His finger gently touched her lips. ‘Shh, Katie. Come here.‘ He leaned back and pulled her into his arms. ‘Good night, killer,’ he said, kissing her head.

Good night, kid.
.

wst-divider-1s


You just read Fiction Friday: Roses Are Blue #8. Hopefully, you already read:
Blue 1 | Blue 2 | Blue 3 | Blue 4 | Blue 5 | Blue 6 | Blue 7 ||| Blue 9 | Blue 10 | Blue 11
©2016 what sandra thinks
Posted in fiction, fiction friday, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 49 Comments

broken.

broken.

I believed you
When you told me I was yours
I believed you
I won’t be alone any more

I never thought
I imagined in my head
I never thought
I couldn’t believe what you said

I wanted it
So desperately I was blind
I wanted it
So badly I was in denial

I realized
I was all wrong about you
I realized
No words you ever spoke were true

I wonder now
If my eyes tell tales unspoken
I wonder now
If everyone knows I’m broken

.

Posted in poetry, writing | Tagged , | 10 Comments