song of the day. #14

song of the day.

This is my 14th song of the day post and already my third Coldplay song. I didn’t plan it this way… they just keep sneaking in.

I cannot listen to Christmas music all day long. Not without pulling a Van Gogh and cutting off an ear. Or two. At the most, I enjoy maybe three or four frequently-played holiday songs. And even those, not fifty times a damn day! Fuck, if I hear (shudder) Mariah Carey (shudder) one more time, I am going to become violent. I cannot even stomach her once.

But… this is a holiday song I like. It’s lovely… and it has just the right amount of sadness and angst to totally work for me. Plus, Coldplay.

I do wonder if I will ever enjoy the holiday season again. There are obvious circumstances fucking things up this year, but I haven’t looked forward to nor enjoyed the holidays for a few years. Maybe someday some brilliant scientist will figure out what the hell is wrong with me…

When you’re still waiting for the snow to fall
Doesn’t really feel like Christmas at all

song of the day

song of the day
Obviously I am not the owner of any rights to this song, this video, or these lyrics… just everything else… which isn’t much… © 2016 what sandra thinks
Posted in music, writing | Tagged , , , , , | 16 Comments

fiction friday 49: in one hundred words. (take 2)

fiction friday.

This is a repost from November 2015.

This was adapted from a short story I wrote about 15 years ago.

Her shoulders rose and fell with her sigh. She knew he was there. She could feel his heart pounding the whole time.

Holding his breath, he stared as she slowly turned around. His hand covered her cheek and he watched her lips silently trace the shape of his name. His fingers sank into her hair and pulled her closer. He had to have her mouth.

She tried to fight his kiss, but the taste of him filled her with years of memories. And love. She grabbed his face in her hands. It would not be their last kiss.

blue hearts.

© 2015-2016 what sandra thinks
Posted in fiction, fiction friday, love, romance, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

art: the prints. #1

art | what sandra thinks

I did the drawing thing… sketching and all of that. I’ve painted [god, I hate painting]. Even some pottery and a [very] brief affair with sculpting. But something about taking a sharp carving tool and being at near-constant risk of major blood loss appealed to me. It’s okay… if you warm the linoleum a bit, it’s much easier to avoid injury.

I carved and printed almost the entire time I was away at school. Unfortunately, it’s not something I can do today without access to a really good press. And to acquire one, I’d need a lot of money and a lot of space. So that’s not going to happen. There are other methods… maybe someday I will try one.

When I graduated [which my daughter thinks was before television existed – so very wrong], the career paths presented to me were never going to happen. Everyone told me that with an art degree, basically, you can teach or become a famous artist. And that’s pretty much it. Teach? Oh, hell no. Become famous? Clearly that didn’t happen.

Today, I can see a few directions that may have worked for me back then… but I never knew what I wanted to do… where to go… so nothing happened. I listened to those people – the ones who said teaching or fame were my only choices – instead of trying my own path [even though I didn’t know what that was].

Way too much information. Moving on…

This print was the first I ever made. It was a bit of a joke with my professor. I’d just spent a semester in his drawing class. We had an ongoing assignment to draw 50 hands and 50 feet during the semester. All different, of course. I couldn’t resist…

art by what sandra thinks

(Obviously, it did not actually say “what sandra thinks” at the bottom. That’d be weird, wouldn’t it?)

It is customary, according to my professor, to note on the print the edition number, the title, the artist’s name, and the year. I remember that the hand was my first. I couldn’t possibly recall the order of creation of the rest by only the year. My memory just isn’t that good. This next one was done the year after the hand, so it could have been anywhere from 4 to 15 months later.

art by what sandra thinks

If or when I post more of my work, you will be astonished (ha) that this one is merely the first of several cemetery prints.

It was fun looking through that portfolio. I found a few non-art things, too. Sigh. I want to be back in college…

p_s-full-div

©2016 what sandra thinks
Posted in art, writing | Tagged , , , , | 43 Comments

in the dark.

girl-down

in the dark she cries
cold, alone and heartbroken
dreaming of his love

p_loopswirl-div

©2016 what sandra thinks
[lovely art by Hajin Bae]
Posted in poetry, writing | Tagged , , , | 31 Comments

damaged.

hb-girl-down

he left me here
torn apart and broken
my only comfort –
knowing
he is damaged
too

p_s-full-div

©2016 what sandra thinks
[lovely art by Hajin Bae]
Posted in poetry, writing | Tagged , , | 21 Comments

song of the day. #13

song of the day.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year (nope) so I thought I’d post something fitting this joyous (nope) season. [I used to love Christmas… I really did. But it’s lost its magic.]

I should pause here to say: It is not my intention to offend anyone. I speak for me… for no one else. Well, maybe for Martin Gore. Or… rather he speaks for me.

I’m just going to say it – I’ve always thought this song pretty much summed things up for me. No, I am not going to hurt myself (not intentionally, anyway, but sometimes I’m a klutz… I did smash my hand last week). It’s not the details that reach me. It’s the main theme. If any such higher being exists, am I just here for comic relief?

Yes, I am a heathen. Or something. I don’t know… I’ve never tried to label it. But I don’t see how I could possibly be any other way. This is me.

 I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumours
but I think that god’s got a sick sense of humour
and when I die, I expect to find him laughing

 d-play_sm

d-pause_sm
Obviously I am not the owner of any rights to this song, this video, or these lyrics… just everything else… which isn’t much… © 2016 what sandra thinks
Posted in music, writing | Tagged , , , , | 32 Comments

it’s a mystery.

writing-girl

I skipped out on blog awards a long time ago. I never followed the rules anyway. What a rebel. But since Vic is my friend and she mentioned me in her ‘Mystery Blogger Award‘ post, I thought I’d do it. Parts of it. I mean, it would be rude not to, right?

So… first… I’m supposed to tell you three things about me. You’ve already seen too much. What harm could even more information possibly do?

3 things about myself… that you may not know:

  1. I was the Student Council President in high school (basically, in charge of the entire student body… no not like that… unfortunately). Now I cannot bear to speak (or even be) in front of people like that. I get so anxious I can barely remain standing.
  2. I’ve seen the Disney movie Tangled more times than I can remember – well into triple digits.
  3. I hate whipped cream. It is vile.

Vic’s 5 questions:

  1. Where’s the best place you’ve ever traveled to?
    Florence, Italy. No question. I want to live there. And die there.
  1. What’s your favorite kind of cookie?
    Oatmeal – homemade by me/my recipe – no raisins, no chips. Just oatmeal cookies. And I prefer the cookie dough to the baked cookies. Which works out because I’m usually too full to eat the baked cookies by the time they’re out of the oven anyway…
  1. Do you like turtlenecks?
    No… I will only wear maybe a sweater with a soft cozy loose “cowl” neck. (That’s what it’s called, right?) Turtlenecks are too strangle-y. Lots of crew necks feel strangle-y, too. I prefer a scoop neck. Also… I have nothing against the neck of an actual turtle. 
  1. Do you like to eat your foods one at a time or do you mix foods on your fork?
    It depends what it is. I’m not my little sister – who hates to have anything touch. She wants a divided plate so everything is separated. Ha! Not me… I’m flexible.
  1. In twenty years if you look back, what’s the most important thing you want to have done with your life between now and then?
    This is too hard… If I had any idea what I wanted my life to be, I’d be in way better (psychological) shape right now. Of course I would want to have been a great parent – I want my kids to be happy and successful and kind. And I want to have finally written a book – like, a complete one, published one way or another. But full disclosure: The first thing that came to mind is… I want to have figured out what happiness is and to have some of it. I’m pretty sure the kid thing and the book thing are far more likely to actually happen.

There it is. Cheerful as ever. Hope you’re not sorry you asked…

p_s-div

Posted in autobiographical, blogging, writing | Tagged , , , , , | 53 Comments

the perk. #30: offspring.

(Post edited when I realized this is a ‘perk’ and I should have posted it as such since I haven’t had one for over a month. Clearly my life sucks… except for these two little monsters.)

the perk.

Perhaps you’ve heard that I have children. I know… it’s a surprise because I hardly ever mention them… (ha.)

Their first report cards of the year came home recently. The boy started middle school this year… grade 6. The girl is in grade 3. And they are awesome.

First the girl… (please excuse my crappy scan and copy/paste job… why can’t the elementary school send a nice electronic copy like the middle school?!?)

report card

And the boy…

report card

I think this means I have to get them rewards…

p_heart-div

Posted in family, parenting, the perk, weekly perk, writing | Tagged , , , , , | 39 Comments