well. tomorrow is april 1. (and an a to z theme?)

(Please don’t throw anything at me.)

The April A to Z challenge starts tomorrow. I’ve completed the challenge for the last seven years. This year……

Hold on! Let’s back up.

Hello! I hope no one fainted at the sight of a post from me.

Last year after the challenge, I probably said (or even promised) that I wouldn’t disappear again. I posted a total of one time. And that was 10 May 2022, about a week after my challenge reflection post.

Oops. Sorry?

I know you’ll forgive me because you’re just happy to see me. (Right?)

To sum up what I’ve said so far, which is nothing:

A to Z challenge starts tomorrow.
I’ve been missing for almost eleven months.
You forgive and adore me.

Everything is related. All of it. A to Z, my last post of 10 May 2022, my disappearance, my reappearance, your adoration of me. (Okay, maybe not that last one.)

As you definitely do not remember, that last post last May was about my frustration over not being able to find an online friend who could be the answer to my need for a friend who would “get me” and who would be okay with my advanced level of neediness.

What I probably didn’t mention (that was a long-ass time ago… I can’t remember) is that I really wanted this person to be a man. It’s just different to talk to a man, and that is what I was really missing in my life when I wrote that post. I’m terrible at making in-person friends, so it had to be an online thing, which I also mentioned last May. Online… texting… no voice, no video, no in-person.

Three weeks after the infamous 10th of May post, I met a man online who “got me” immediately. I felt an instant connection, and fortunately for me, so did he. We have “talked” every single day, several times a day, for nearly ten months now. Oh, there was one hiccup. It lasted about a day.

Oh… and that part about no voice and no video? I kind of threw that out the window. How could I not speak to and see the man who so quickly became my friend, my confidante, and my (not really) therapist? And I know I am the same for him.

He helps me. My mental health, though still messy, has improved. He will always listen, but he will not let me get away with self-pity or excuses. He challenges me. And he has somehow been able to push me to do good things for myself without making me want to punch him in the face. As much as I hate clichés, he has changed my life. (I think I just threw up a little.)

We’re living in the same marriage. Not literally. We both basically have a roommate/friend to whom we happen to be married. Anything beyond that is non-existent. We both understand exactly how the other feels.

Oh, nothing untoward has happened. He lives in another country. There is a rather large body of water between us. It’s called an ocean. Also, married.



The A to Z challenge.

Last year, I wrote the story of “when we met” for 26 couples. (That link will send you to the page with all of those posts.) My friend Jayden (jrvincente) gave me that theme idea. And I loved it so much.

This year, I’m going to follow the suggestion of another friend who gave me a fabulous idea. TheDreamGirlWrites commented on my post-challenge reflection post with some thoughts… like continuing some of these stories. She is awesome. I’ve totally missed her (and it’s my own fault).

Because I’m crazy, I’m going to continue *all* 26 stories. I’m going to write 26 more shorts… one for every couple I introduced last year.

after we met.
(amazing graphic coming soon. oh fuck. that needs to be soon. like, tomorrow soon.)

And of course, I will link last year’s post for each letter in all of this year’s so you can refresh your memory or read those for the first time before reading the new ones. Of course you can read those anytime. In my blog menu, go to a to z challenge and then a to z challenge 2022. You can also read my other a to z posts from years prior… all the way back to 2016.

Before you get excited (because obviously, you are very excited), I fully expect to fall behind. And I hope I can finish the challenge. I’ve never been so unprepared before. So far, I have written exactly nothing. I haven’t made myself a fancy title graphic like I always do. I completely missed theme reveal day. I don’t even know when it was. Hell, I haven’t even oficially signed up yet.

Oh… but like last year—here comes the bitch you know and love—I hate the A to Z logos this year. I’m sorry… I know I’m being mean. But they are horrible. A lot worse than last year. They look like something you would have seen on a freaking GeoCities website. (Oh. My age is showing.) I don’t know who made them. If it is you, I’m truly sorry for being so mean. I have a very particular set of… um… preferences. I hope I don’t get booted or anything, but should I complete the challenge, I’ll be making my own survivor/winner badge thingy to put on my blog.

Sorry. That was a bit of a rant.

And how is everything related, you may be wondering? (I’m sure you’re not.) I was here for A to Z last year. I was lonely so I wrote the 10 May post and then vanished. I met a wonderful person who has been so good for me. And who may have something to do with me not being here. But he is also why I’m back. I told him about this challenge and he insisted that I do it. So… here I am.

I hope anyone who ever knew me might see this post. And I hope new people who never knew me will see this post. Then, they, too, can be disappointed if/when I disappear again.

Don’t worry… “hot guy at the end of every post” shall continue.
My Italian model crush… I still love him.

p.s. — I’m really nervous to hit publish! I have definitely been away for a damn long time. Also… it’s 8:30 the night before my letter A post should be up. I still haven’t written anything. Except this post. I’m so screwed! 

©2023 what sandra thinks

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, sometimes blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Italy, but she would settle for a non-oceanfront home in Italy. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
This entry was posted in life, relationships, writing and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

20 Responses to well. tomorrow is april 1. (and an a to z theme?)

  1. Storyteller says:

    Yeah happy to see you. I must get back into the prompts too. Languishing in no mans land at the moment after finishing my first indie anthology. Sold 2. Ah must start somewhere.
    Will keep an eye out for your posts

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Marquessa says:

    Hey you! Amazing to see you posting again! 💜

    Liked by 1 person

    • I don’t know if I’d go so far as to say it’s amazing. 🙂 And I think I’m already in a-to-z trouble. I tried to write my “a” post tonight and I failed spectacularly. Didn’t make the title graphic either. Even had second thoughts about the theme name.

      I may not be ready for this!

      But I’m happy to see you. 🩷


  3. scr4pl80 says:

    Hi! I’m excited to read more of your stories. I don’t like the graphics either so I’m not using them. Good luck to you!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Monty Vern says:

    Ambitious! I love it. Looking forward to the continued stories.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ogden Fahey says:

    Hey baby, good to hear you! Looking fwd to your new posts 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Firstly, you are so darn kind!
    Secondly I’m glad you met someone who can understand what you’re going through!!!
    Thirdly, love love love that you’re just crazy enough to continue not one but allll of last year’s stories! I honestly can’t wait to read them all

    Liked by 1 person

  7. jrvincente says:

    Ahh! I’m so glad you’re back! ❤

    I'm excited that you're continuing your stories! I'm behind, too, but that's to be expected. Thankfully I get emails for all of your posts, so I know I won't miss any.

    Welcome back.


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