How do you reign in self-critical voices?
Those voices are a problem for me. I don’t like much about myself, and I have a constant playlist of negativity on repeat.
Here’s the thing, though: I don’t want to lose those voices completely. They are often the source of my sarcasm [see March 6] and creativity, and those are among my few redeeming qualities. I don’t want to lose them. So while I should be trying to ‘get better‘ (meaning be less self-critical), I hesitate because I think I need those voices to maintain my sarcasm and creativity.
It’s like a musician/songwriter/poet (or any artist of any kind) who needs sadness to be inspired. If they cheer up, their creativity dies. Look at Morrissey, for example. I seem to use him as an example a lot. I’m pretty sure he never set out to be a role model.
Of course, maybe that last paragraph is only one side of the truth because I’ve found that when I’m on a high (a natural one), my creativity spikes. I’m rarely on a high, though. Maybe I need to go for a less natural high.
p.s. — So… I’m at my creative best when I’m very low or very high. I’m ‘mildly’ bipolar so highs and lows with no middle is my natural state. Yet, medically speaking, the goal is to even out my moods. But then I lose any semblance of creativity. WTF? What’s a girl to do?