can eyes get bluer?

I recently attended my nephew’s birthday party where I saw my ‘step-aunt‘. [Is that even a thing? ‘Step-aunt’? She is my uncle’s wife (mom’s brother), but she is his second wife. But she’s my aunt just as much as his first wife was… so maybe that makes her just ‘aunt’? This is really not important to the story…]

Anyway… you may remember my step-aunt from such posts as ‘not a blood relative‘.

I guess I was pretty mean in that post… referring to her as Aunt Dumbass and all. But she has her moments. Bad ones. But also… good ones.

She is hilarious. Sure, sometimes she can get a little annoying, but the last few times I’ve seen her, she’s been rather entertaining… and not so much annoying. Not to go down a dark road, but I think something changed (with me, but maybe with her, too) since my cousin died last year. It throws people when they lose someone so tragically just before his 46th birthday.

Back to that birthday/pool party a couple of weeks ago…

We were sitting at the table by the pool—step-aunt, uncle, mom, me—when suddenly some sort of flying insect got in step-aunt’s face. She tried to swat it away but it wouldn’t leave her alone. Now, I must pause here to mention that step-aunt has giant boobs. Like, each one is about the size of her head. So she waved her hands around but this bug wasn’t giving up. And then it flew right into her cleavage.

At this point, my mom and I are laughing our asses off, as is step-aunt, bordering on hysterically. She stuck her hand right in there between her giant boobs, trying to get the bug out. Finally she stops and takes a drink. ‘Did you get it out?‘ I asked. And her answer was… ‘I don’t know…‘ which only made everyone laugh even more. I guess the little bugger may have gotten lost in there.

Of course, none of this is really relevant to my title question either. But it was fucking funny. [Or maybe you had to be there.] I guess I just wanted to give an idea of what step-aunt is like. Although that may not be relevant either.

I don’t know about you guys (well, you ladies), but I don’t feel perfect in a swimsuit. I feel alright… a little self-conscious… but not perfect. I guess that’s why I felt the need, in conversation [post bug incident], to comment on my imperfect thighs as I ate some cheese on a cracker. I think that was my way of making myself feel more comfortable. Self-deprecation. Yeah… that’s me. But, when I made that comment, my step-aunt kind of called me out on it. Not in a bad way.

Oh, you look beautiful,‘ she said. ‘That swimsuit is perfect for you and your eyes are just… wow!

I didn’t know what to say. First of all, I don’t see that. I just see the thighs and other assorted flaws and imperfections. Second, I have no idea how to handle compliments. I get all flustered. And no one (except my mom) has looked me in the eye and told me I look beautiful in a very very long time. And the thing about my eyes… yes, they are blue… but they were always sort of grey-blue. Sort of pale. Not vibrant at all. At times, I wasn’t even sure I should call my eyes blue. Maybe just grey. But step-aunt thought they were bright, vibrant blue.

Was she staring at the sun? Maybe it was my warm glowing tan.

Later, when I was inside for cake (great for the thighs, you know), I looked in a mirror. Step-aunt was right. My eyes looked blue. Really blue. They have changed. Is that even possible? As an adult? Can they get bluer? Is bluer a word?

People are usually quick to point out the bad but less likely to mention the good. I’m glad people like my step-aunt are out there.

I encourage you to speak up when you see or hear or notice something good about someone. It made me feel special and beautiful… two things I never think about myself on my own.

 

©2018 what sandra thinks

         

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About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Hawaii where she could learn to surf. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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58 Responses to can eyes get bluer?

  1. I can’t speak for yours, but my hubby has blue gray eyes and the level of blue changes with the weather, clothes he wears and how he feels.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Cyranny says:

    I agree… I know several blue eyed people whose eye color changed depending on different factors. My mom could almost predict the weather based on my little bro’s blue eyes…

    May you remember the compliment, Gorgeous! You deserved it, and you deserve to feel good about it! 🙂 xx

    Liked by 2 people

    • It’s strange, though, because I haven’t noticed mine changing all the time. It seems like they went from being greyish to being very blue… and staying that way.

      It was a lovely compliment. I would love someone to tell me I look beautiful every day. Well, maybe not every day… I want it to be special…

      Liked by 1 person

      • Cyranny says:

        I think it is just natural that you never noticed… I don’t think you are the kind of lady who spends a whole lot of time in front of a mirror, staring at yourself….

        Enjoy compliments when they pass by, they are always a sweet caress on the heart 🙂 And when people compliment you, accept it. Don’t “yeah but…” them 😉 You’ll get complimented more often if you are open to be, Gorgeous 🙂 xx

        Liked by 1 person

        • Oh, you know me so well. I totally said, “yeah but…” I am terrible.

          Liked by 1 person

          • Cyranny says:

            😉 That’d be a nice exercice to try…. I am actually working on something similar (Kate could confirm). I wasn’t a “yeah but…” girl so much, but I tended to use humor to deflect compliments… I am working on accepting them with a “well thank you” 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

            • I don’t really know Kate at all… but I believe you. 🙂 I miss those times we used to talk and come up with steps for me to try to take. I guess I was kind of a hopeless case, though. I still try, though, on my own…

              Liked by 1 person

              • Cyranny says:

                Yeah, she just compliments me regularely and I work hard to accept her kind words and not deflect them with humor.

                You know you can drop me a line anytime, Gorgeous. If I have time, I’ll spend some with you. But work is very busy with everyone taking vacation. Tomorrow is my only day off in 15 days of work, so I might not be as available as I used to… Nothing personal. I just have little time to myself.

                Liked by 1 person

                • I could certainly use some compliments regularly… As I’m sure everyone could. That is not something I have in my life… regularly. Except when you call me Gorgeous…

                  I hate to bother people… and I’m always afraid that’s what I’m doing… so I hesitate to reach out. Plus I feel like lots of people in my life have given up on me… so that makes me worry about bothering people, too.

                  I understand that you are busy and rarely have time off. I remember what that’s like…

                  Like

  3. Miriam says:

    Loved this. Gives you a glow inside when someone genuinely compliments you. Hold it close. xo

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You all sound fun and full of life! Great story! It was sweet of your aunt to point out your beauty. I too find it difficult to take compliments sometimes but I do like it when I hear them. I give them often because I like the smiles people wear when they feel good about themselves. So… feel good about you because… besides your pretty blue eyes you can write well! Please keep sharing! 🤗

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hearing a compliment is wonderful, but I still don’t always know how to react. I’m glad you know what I mean.

      And thank you for what you said, especially about writing… because I’ve been struggling lately. You’re so sweet! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Like already commented, my eyes change colour too. Sometimes they are green, sometimes hazel, sometimes I think a murky in the middle. It depends on my makeup, clothes, how I’m feeling. It could be the same for you! But I also think eyes can change. Mine are definitely getting less hazel and more green.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I think eyes can change color, based on mood, light, clothing colors. My wife’s vary quite a bit, from a steel blue/Gray to bright blue, and sometimes even a little green. Don’t ask me why, but I’ve seen in action. And, why is it so hard for some of us to take a compliment? It makes me squirm too. I have no idea about why on that one either. 😏

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Meg says:

    Hey beautiful! I’m blue eyed and there are days when my eyes look bluer and days when they are more dark grey blue. I wonder if it’s related to something we ate? The weather/temperature? Or even mood/mind/brain stuff. It happens to my blue eyed husband, too. I’m glad your aunt made you feel special because you are sweetie! ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  8. mandibelle16 says:

    Blue eyes are interesting. They are actually a genetic defect way back in history, when it appeared once, but kept occurring until two blue-eyed people had kids and so on. That’s the simplified version. People with brown eyes have brown pigment in there eyes, but people with blue eyes (and a lesser degree green) have no pigment in their eyes. Thus, their eyes reflect color and sky/ocean which are mostly blue and their environment. As they don’t have eye color pigment, their eyes constantly change color depending on reflection and often mood. I have to look more into the mood end of things, but I agree that your blue eyes can change, become bluer, more grey, or darken, depending where you are, the lighting, and I do think emotional factors as well. Green eyes have some brown pigment, but also lack pigment, but not as much as blue eyes, so they have green eyes between the brown and colorless (reflective) pigments.
    Cheers. Hope you’re doimg well Sandra.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. As a step aunt, I’m just grateful when the nieces/nephews talk to me! Blue eyes, to me, are always beautiful, probably because my eyes are brown! Hubby ‘s eyes are blue and they change with his moods and what color he wears. I love to tell strangers even when I like what they’re wearing or such. Just a blurter, I guess…

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think it’s great that you give compliments even to people you don’t know. That’s a lovely thing to do. Not a lot of people do that.

      My step-aunt has turned out to be lots of fun. I’m sure you are, too! 🙂

      Like

  10. i have to work on thinking positive things about myself… on my own. i hope that you come to a point where you can see and KNOW those things about yourself. *hugs* 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. and YOUR AUNT STORY WAS HILARIOUS AND I LOVED IT!! and even if isn’t relevant… its awesome. fuck relevantness. (and that is definitely not a word but fun to say) 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Hey, man, be grateful that you have nice eyes that can change and stuff 😂😉. Mine are a dull brown. I think my eyeliner collection is secretly my way of jazzing my eyes up. I used to hate them so much. I’m not about to wear coloured contacts either…

    Anyway, I think eyes change depending on light and environment, something to do with reflections etc etc science science. Unless of course, you have dull brown eyes like me.

    Yes on the compliments. I compliment people every day, whenever I can. Even if it’s just to make conversation. It’s always nice to see that you’ve brightened someone’s day, even just a little bit.

    Someone was telling me that I look good the other day and she made the point that women should always compliment other women. We don’t have to wait for a guy to do it (and hey, they’re dumb anyway), but it’s always a nice thing to do. 💜

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am grateful for my eyes. My dad had blue eyes, too, but my mom and three sisters all have brown. I always felt special.

      And I’m sure your eyes are lovely. 🙂

      I have minimal interaction with other humans over the age of 13… but I agree about women complimenting each other. Screw men. 😛

      Like

  13. Hunida says:

    Hahaha you know I never thought about the whole step-aunt thing, what an interesting thought! & I loved that you included the bug fiasco to give us more insight on her personality. I love people like her & I’m so happy that she was able to make you feel positive about yourself! It’s totally true that eyes can change colors, my boyfriend’s eyes are sometimes extremely green & other times not! I bet your blue eyes are vibrant, Sandra! ♡♡♡

    Liked by 1 person

  14. prior.. says:

    Fun story and glad she did not get stung –
    And you know – I Try to drop positive compliments when possible – but only when genuine – like tonight we were leaving a store and a lady walking to her car near us had on the cutest striped dress – and I told her
    “Really like that dress”
    Thanks – she replied with a smile

    I love when I get the chance to drop a genuine and specific compliment – it has that rippling effect you refer to here

    Liked by 1 person

  15. jrvincente says:

    Step-aunt – I love it. It was actually something I considered, too, being a second wife. That was the first time I *wasn’t* a “step.” I was a “step-mom,” but I was just an “aunt.” But it wasn’t until my brother-in-law and his wife had kids who never knew First Wife that I really felt that.

    I’m so glad that your step-aunt made the comment and that it had an impact. 🙂 I try to say nice things when I see them for just that reason. I totally made a fool of myself telling a couple in a grocery store how cute they were, but they smiled and whatever.

    And I totally get the self-depreciating humor. I use that alllll the time myself.

    Liked by 1 person

    • My aunt is really funny. Other than her, I have two others, but they are both very weird in their own ways… lol!

      It’s always nice to receive a compliment… but also nice to give them.

      It’s hard to stop the self-deprecation once you start. At least that’s what I find!

      Liked by 1 person

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