bad trip.

That title is totally misleading. In a literal sense, it would be a completely different post. And maybe someday I’ll write that post. But for now… I thought it fit for this… in a way.

As you know, I’m not one for cute little inspirational quotes or clichés. In fact, they make me cringe… and feel a little nauseated.

It’s not necessarily that they don’t have some shred of validity. What gets to me is the way they are presented—as solutions to life’s problems. But there are no simple solutions. If there were, no one would have problems.

That is my biggest gripe with clichés. They are always thrown at me as solutions.

I have been thinking about one such sentiment lately. It’s that whole destination/journey thing. You know… it’s not the destination, it’s the journey. [Aaagghh… it deeply disturbs me to type those words.]

I understand the point of this tiny piece of wisdom (and I use the term ‘wisdom’ loosely… in fact, I don’t mean ‘wisdom’ at all). Everything along the way is what truly matters… not the end goal. Maybe you don’t even need an end goal. I get it.

However…

How can I know which steps to take without some idea where I’m going? I may not need an end goal… but what does that mean for the present? I feel paralyzed… for many reasons, not the least of which is that I have no idea what to do.

If I get in my car but I don’t know where I’m going, how do I know which turns to take? Sure, I can just take random streets. I can drive in circles. But I will get nowhere. It changes nothing. And it wastes gas.

Is it that I need to know the destination… but not focus on it?

Even if that’s the answer, it doesn’t help… because I don’t know what my passion truly is… or what I truly love or want. (Beyond time travel to change the past… and all the fantasy stuff that’s always in my head…)

I have no destination… so I have no journey. I’m stuck.

So… if I have no destination, how do I go on the journey?

 

©2018 what sandra thinks

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About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Hawaii where she could learn to surf. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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17 Responses to bad trip.

  1. Revenge of Eve says:

    I can totally relate to this post.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Bassey Etim says:

    Hmmm…..how about finding somewhere who might have an idea of where you ought to go and then follow his directions?

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’d be great… but I don’t know how to find that person!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Bassey Etim says:

        Yeah, that’s usually the thing!
        Well, mine was literally dropped in my laps and he has been of great help and I keep on thanking God for sending him my way as a mentor. What am doing now are things I picked up from him and I am loving it.
        Basically, someone gave an advice on the need of a mentor in one’s life and since I didn’t really know who to approach and if the person in the long run would really be the best for me and my future since you cannot completely know a person. I decided to pray about it. And the Lord in His way brought him my way in a funny turn of events. So, I think you can pray about it and believe God to send someone your way that will help you be all that you are truly supposed to be. And when the person comes, you will know she/he indeed is an answer to that your prayer. I hope this helps.
        You have my love & blessings!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I gotta say, this is extremely powerful writing. Brave and honest, I like this kind of post, it makes me think about a lot of things, you are verily talented. This is totally a good read. I am Ragazza, I hope you could follow my blog page, maybe you’ll be inspired too. Cheers! 😊👏

    Liked by 1 person

  4. shutupjohn8 says:

    We all may have thoughts of the future but my parents taught us to live one day at a time. It worked for them and it works for me.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ogden Fahey says:

    its like that sometimes – I wonder, is it better in the morning, or the afternoon / evening? I find often my best ideas come when I’m not looking to have them, sometimes I have to note it down for development later, when I do have the time, its like multiples of everything when I don’t need it, and nothing when I do!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I feel like I have no ideas at all lately. I feel empty…

      Like

      • Ogden Fahey says:

        U got to work with me babe, I need more than that! Seriously, have a look at some blogs if you see something you like it might get something shifted, TBH I haven’t been inspired today hardly at all, its just not a good day for it, but then I turfed up something from the archive, looking for something else I found what I wasn’t looking for, but it turned out ok – fuckit, its all I got right now, you just got to go with what you got, or what you haven’t got, pretty soon you’ll have something shit, but you can spruce it up – polish a turd babe! Polish it up good! XXX

        Liked by 1 person

        • I’m sorry. Lately it seems the only thing I can write about is all the crap in my life. I’m sick of it. It sucks because even when I come up with other ideas, I write them down but I can’t go anywhere with them. Nothing comes to me. I don’t know what’s wrong with me!

          Liked by 1 person

          • Ogden Fahey says:

            Hmm, I don’t know, are you interested in religion or philosophy at all? I found those helpful, people are so idiotic, they believe all sorts of crap that makes them feel better about one thing, but worse about another. I find philosophy to be better, cos its more current than those ancient religions, thing is tho, philosophy tends to be a bit bleak, mostly I just felt better cos I’m not actually a philosopher myself. I find drinking to excess quite helpful, it can break the week up, give one a fresh start – which is maybe what you feel like you need? A bit of pampering perhaps?

            I set myself the challenge of reading the Tibetan Book of the Dead – I liked the pictures, and saw it as a sort of challenge. in the book, it said that after death, its even worse than being alive, which maybe gave me some comfort and reason to better appreciate life itself.

            Why not write a little story about a snail, living in a world full of beautiful flowers and what it sees? Or doesn’t see? Something like that?

            Wish I could be more helpful, but I confess, I’m clueless myself! XX

            Liked by 1 person

            • It’s really okay.

              I’m not really much for philosophy… and not religion. I definitely don’t want to hear that death is worse than being alive! It’s not that I want death… not at all… but sometimes I wonder what happens when we die and thinking it’s worse, well, that doesn’t make me want to make my life better… it makes me think what’s the point? I’m sure that’s totally backwards.

              I think my writing ability is limited to romance. I’m pretty sure I can’t write about anything else…

              Anyway… it’s fine… It’s not something with any easy answers.

              Like

  6. I wish I knew the answer. I’m still not sure of my destination but on the way I’ve had lots of twists and turns sprung on me, some good, some bad. I just feel that’s life and if I don’t try to live it, it’s gone. I don’t even know if that makes sense…

    Liked by 1 person

    • I just can’t figure out what I’m supposed to be doing. Maybe whatever I want… but I don’t know what that is either! Some days, I feel like I’m barely living. It’s more like I’m just waiting for time to pass… until… something. But I don’t know what.

      Like

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