running out of time.

letter to me.

A-to-Z
I’m in trouble. I have V written for tomorrow but that’s it. I have nothing else. I have been trying for days to get W written. It’s not working. I started… but I can’t finish… and I hate what I have so far. And I still have to write X Y Z… and I don’t have much time. I need to finish W by the end of tomorrow…

I don’t know why I’m telling you this… it’s not like anyone can help me.

I was so glad I got ahead with this challenge… but now I’m stuck… and I want to finish… without the last four posts being awful.

I know that the problem… or part of it… is just… me. I’m a mess. I’m sad. I cry. I can’t focus. I’m having a lot of trouble doing anything today. I made myself breakfast but I couldn’t eat it… I threw it away. I’m broken. I can’t seem to do any of the things that might help me feel better. I know what those things are… I just can’t… move.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to ruin my story. I’ve ruined enough.

x
sandra

Advertisements

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Hawaii where she could learn to surf. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
This entry was posted in anxiety, blogging, challenge, writing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

59 Responses to running out of time.

  1. The V Pub says:

    Be like Captain Kirk when he dealt with the Kobayashi Maru. Look it up and you will read the answer, grasshopper.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I wish I could give you some hints if I was allowed. Am I allowed?

    Like

  3. JBlaide says:

    I don’t know what is troubling you or know the magic words to help you through this (if I did I’d share them in a heart beat) but know you aren’t alone. We’ve never met or if we have we might not know it but I know what it feels like to be drained and stuck. It absolutely, unequivocally sucks. Do what you can, let out the emotion to the best of your ability, and remember that this shall pass. ❤️ Your writing is awesome so I can only assume you are, too. I don’t think anything you do will ruin the story personally. 🙂 Hope you feel better again sooner rather than later!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much. I am probably trying too hard. Sometimes if I take a break and do something else I can get back to a story. But I’ve got a ‘deadline’ for this… I think the stress of that is making things worse. But I’m so happy to hear that you enjoy my writing. Some days I feel like it’s terrible! So thank you again… ♥

      Liked by 1 person

      • JBlaide says:

        That’s an understandable feeling! Maybe you could take a short break of an hour or two and then come back to it. Sometimes a 20 minute power nap or walk help me recollect. You are very welcome!

        Liked by 1 person

        • I do have to take a break whether I want to or not since I have to pick up the kids from school. But coming back to this after that might be a challenge since then they’ll be home… so it probably won’t be as quiet… but I don’t always need quiet…

          Liked by 1 person

  4. Meg says:

    The truth is your story will NOT be ruined if the last 4 posts are not perfect. Writers always have to revise, revise and revise again. Think of the A- Z challenge as the first draft of this story and just finish. There is no rule that says you can’t go back and edit it for the readers after the fact. And remember… This is an artifical deadline. You don’t win or lose anything here. It puts a lot of unnecessary pressure on you. Challenges are good for motivating you to write but if its stressing you out this bad, give yourself permission to slacken the pace. And while its nice of folks to offer ideas… this is your story sweetie! ❤️ We are all going to read the story whether or not you finish on time! 🙌

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks… ♥♥
      Unlike previous years doing this challenge, I was so far ahead with my posts… and now I’m frustrated because I should have been able to get the rest done ahead of time, too, but I’m stuck in a hole. I guess I kind of wrote myself into a corner (is that the expression?) because I could end it at a certain point… but it’s not at Z.

      I know… I put way too much pressure on myself. The only way this definitely wouldn’t have happened was if I finished all of the letters before April even began…

      Liked by 1 person

      • Meg says:

        End it where ever it seems like the natural conclusion. The left over letters can be individual posts not part of the story. Or finding the diary in your things in the distant future?

        Liked by 1 person

        • I don’t want to do that. I just don’t feel like it fits and I want it to all flow… to be the same story. Plus I think that would be even harder for me to write at this point… you know what I mean? Changing tracks? I don’t know. I think part of the problem (besides my mental state) is that I have a few tiny ideas and I want to work them all in but I’m having trouble finding a way…

          Hopefully I can look at it and work on it again later tonight after I pick up from karate, make dinner, eat dinner, get kids to finish homework, get kids to calm down and go to bed. So yeah… in about 5-7 hours…

          Liked by 1 person

  5. I’ve been winging it since the letter O. I’m going Day by day seeing what happens. God knows what’s ahead. I’m waiting for Jimmy to come in and annoy me so I can get something to write about 😂😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Chill! If you’re late its no big deal. It’s your blog, right?

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Liam says:

    W is for Writer’s Block. 😩

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Hunida says:

    Hmm… so W… you could always do the question words “why, what, when, where”
    What else starts with W? Watermelon, Wal-Mart, Wearing, Wiggle, Worm, Womp-Womp.
    ♡♡♡ just some suggestions and a *hug!!*

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Marquessa says:

    I shouldn’t give you advice ’cause I am stuck myself at W. And writing every night is exhausting and my brain isn’t working. I’m loving your story though. I just love the journal style we are doing…

    Liked by 1 person

  10. oh no! I’m a little late to this party, so this probably has been said many times up there *points to all the comments I skimmed over to get to the comment box* but I hope this cloud breaks for you soon! You are an amazing writer and I know the end of your story will be great. Not to put too much pressure on you to make it so. I’m sorry you are being sucked into this dark hole of emotions, and I wish I could send you some of my over bubbliness to help pull you out! *hugs* I know you can do it, I hope that you can find the belief in yourself to know it too! xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

  11. jrvincente says:

    Coming back after having read the end of the story… you did not mess it up at all!!!

    Liked by 1 person

thoughts? talk to me.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.