Oh my God. OhmyGod. Oh. My. God.
I wasn’t sure I was ever going to be able to relax last night. My heart was pounding the whole time I wrote about my Hannah takedown. I had to close my eyes… take deep breaths. And finally, I felt a little better… calmer. My heartbeat started to slow down.
Then I had a visitor. When I heard the knock… my heart sped up again. So much for calm. I panicked… and pleaded (with no one) for it to be Randy or Jules… or anyone that wasn’t Hannah. God, I was freaking out. I covered my heart with my hand but that didn’t slow it down. I gave up and pulled open the door.
Not Randy. Not Jules. Not Hannah.
Oh God. I was still wound up from the Hannah thing… and Ethan was standing there all tall and gorgeous and close to me. I couldn’t even speak—he had to ask me if he could come in. Even then I didn’t say anything. I just backed up and let him in.
He asked me if I was alright. I nodded even though I felt like my heart was in my throat. Heart-in-throat would probably not be considered ‘alright’. And I don’t think he believed me anyway. But my emotional state had nothing to do with Hannah by then. It was all him.
He started to say something about what he had witnessed outside but I stopped him. ‘I can’t believe you saw that…’ I had to tell him that I’m not like that. ‘I’ve never ripped someone apart like that.’ But I didn’t have to explain myself. He knows me. ‘I know… I could tell.’ He smiled. And it was such a flirty smile. ‘I thought it was kinda hot.’ I almost choked on my heart… which, of course, was still in my throat.
When I didn’t say anything, he took a step closer to me, still smiling. ‘There’s something you should know…’ And I was dying to know… ‘I was looking for you at the party. It’s why I went… I knew you’d be there…’ Oh God… my hands were shaking. ‘But when I finally saw you, there was that guy… and then you disappeared.’ Dylan… he saw me with Dylan. But Ethan already knew that was nothing… thanks to Hannah bringing it up outside. ‘I went to find you… knocked on your door… but you weren’t here.’ No… I wasn’t. I was with my friends next door.
I finally swallowed my heart and somehow managed to tease him. ‘Why were you looking for me? Did you have a chemistry question?’
He had the best answer.
And it wasn’t when he smiled and said, ‘kind of…’
It was when he slowly ran his thumb over my cheek and slipped his fingers under my hair… and kissed me.
• • •
‘Dear Diary’ is fiction based on actual events.
Any similarities to your college life is purely coincidental.
Any similarities to mine is entirely intentional.
©2018 what sandra thinks