life goes on… and on and on.

Just a post about my life… because living it is so damn riveting that I feel the need to share. (That’s sarcasm, just in case it wasn’t obvious…) Maybe it’ll make you feel good because your life will look awesome by comparison.

Breakfast-for-lunch yesterday with my daughter was fun. And those apple cinnamon pancakes I was craving did not disappoint. My daughter’s french toast wasn’t bad either. And of course, bacon. And coffee. My daughter didn’t have coffee. But she would have if I let her. Hey, I liked coffee when I was 10, too. I swear… this poor kid is just like me. I hope the insanity skips a generation… or, you know, all future generations.

The most recent attempt to ‘fix‘ (or at least help) my back pain failed. So… we’re up to five failures now. The NP I saw for follow-up after the first procedure was horrible. Hated her. I got them to switch me to someone else for follow-up after the second (different) failed injection. That appointment was this morning. This PA guy was a million times better than that horrible NP. He thinks I should try another ESI in a different spot.

Once my stupid insurance approves that (they better approve it…), I can schedule it. It’s complicated because I’m not allowed to drive after the injection so the husband needs to take time off. (I have no one else.) His office is relocating (not far) during April and the company doesn’t want anyone taking any time off during April or half of May. It’s ridiculous. And I’m not waiting until fucking June!

If this next injection fails, the PA I saw today said they could try something else… but I’m really concerned that at some point, my insurance is going to stop covering things. I know… don’t worry about that now. Whatever. I’m going to worry no matter what anyone says or how hard I try not to. It’s just me… and it’s even worse because everything keeps failing. I really don’t want to be in pain for the rest of my life.

the other kind of pain.
I’ve been having trouble in the morning. Every morning. I’m relieved when I have somewhere to be… but that’s not every day. I’ve made lists of things to do so I can feel like I have somewhere to be, but that’s not cutting it. I know I need something else in my life. I know a job would help. I also know I need to be available by about 2/2:30pm every day for my kids. So I need a part time job. In an office. With minimal standing. Yeah, that’s not super specific or anything. Should be no problem, right? I’ve been looking for that for a fucking long time. It’s obviously not going to happen. (That’s right. I am not thinking positively. That’s who I am. What I think has no impact on the situation anyway. The end.) I have no solution. But the way I feel every morning… it’s brutal. There are days I try desperately to go back to sleep for a few hours so I don’t have to feel anything.

my phone.
Miraculously, my phone seems to be better. It’s like it was sick… and now it’s better. Kind of. Most issues seem to be gone. Just like that. Poof. Issues came up for no reason and went away for no reason. WTF? Oh well… at least it works… mostly.

other stuff.
Easter has been postponed. My sister has to work. We’re having it a week late. Not a big deal. I’m actually kind of glad… there’s way too much going on lately.

My A-to-Z writing is coming along. I’ve finished A through S. But now I hate D… so… I’m doing some editing/rewriting… along with trying to finish the alphabet.

I’d sum that up as 2 good, 2 bad, 1 neutral. I guess I break even at the moment. Doesn’t feel like it, though, since the 2 bad are way heavier than the other 3.

And there’s my boring life update. Thanks for playing.

• • •
©2018 what sandra thinks

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, sometimes blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Italy, but she would settle for a non-oceanfront home in Italy. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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22 Responses to life goes on… and on and on.

  1. Not a bad summary really. Glad the breakfast-for-lunch was so successful, sounds like a plan for repeat performances.

    My angina has flared up again so new set of tablets. They make my legs swell like an elephant, so another new tablet. That one makes me wee (pee) a zillion times a day. Great! A good friend upped and died suddenly from an aortic dissection that could not be operated on as he lived with Parkinson’s. But hey, my wife and my cat love me, I keep waking up every day, and the sun has been shining – so life is good!

    Hugs as always.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You know my stance on part of that: the universe listens, energy can be altered, laws of attraction….yada yada. I know, “Shut the fuck up!”, right? I believe that though. I really, really hope this next round of injections works. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Meg says:

    Breaking even is good. I’m glad the new PA was an improvement. Breakfast sounds amazing! How about I come up and take you to your appointment and we can get those pancakes? 😃 I could use a break from my own life at the moment! 🙃

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hunida says:

    Ah, I’m so sorry the injections didn’t work for your back. 😦 I hope you can find that part time job, it might really make you feel better. ♡ At least your phone is working now!

    Liked by 1 person

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