dismissed.

Sora Ceballos
Beautiful art by Sora Ceballos

• • •

When I was a little kid, my mom had this tradition I rarely mentioned to anyone. Not because it wasn’t great… because it was great… but because it was, I guess, ‘wrong‘.

Every year, we would skip back-to-school clothes shopping before school started. Instead, Mom would pick a day for each of us—my three sisters and I—and she’d keep us home from school. We’d each get a day with just Mom to shop for new school clothes. Sometimes, she would even do it again in the spring.

When my friends asked why I wasn’t at school that day, I’d tell them I was sick. That’s what Mom wrote on the note she sent in the next day. So… I kept it to myself. And I didn’t wear new clothes to school until after the weekend. As if anyone would have noticed.

But I was a good kid nerd and I didn’t want to get into any trouble. And I never did.

• • •

My daughter was a little sad last night because of that bitch girl who she really does not want to be friends with anymore. She feels trapped because if she’s not friends with her, she could lose other friends. She doesn’t want to put people in the middle and make them choose. But some kids feel like they must.

I’ve told her that these other friends aren’t really friends if they’d abandon her. However, I don’t really believe that and neither does she. They just don’t want get involved, and my daughter doesn’t know whose ‘side‘ they would be on. Because the bitch in question is so obnoxious, it’s quite possible that she would bad-mouth my girl so she could ‘win‘ all the friends. I don’t think everyone would buy it, but my kid doesn’t want to risk it. And I totally understand.

So she acts like the bitch is still her friend… at school. I guess the bitch has a shred of intelligence (just a shred) so she is usually okay while others are around. But outside of school… no. My daughter will not answer the bitch’s phone calls (yeah, she still calls).

For a couple of days a couple of weeks ago, my daughter did answer the phone calls. And for those two days, my daughter was moody, argumentative, and just generally difficult. Revelation! It’s because of the bitch. She had stopped talking to her for a few weeks before those two days and has stopped since, and during those times, she’s her usual sweet self.

The bitch still says things to upset my daughter, though. Like whenever any attention is drawn to my daughter for any reason, the bitch says something like, “I don’t see what the big deal is…” Basically, she tries to negate anything good, positive, or attention-getting that happens to my daughter. And often to other kids, too. If the focus isn’t on her, it doesn’t count… no matter what it is. And if something is about her, she brags about it.

I really hate this kid.

To make a long story short (is obviously not what I’m doing), this was the reason my girl was sad last night. She didn’t want to go to school today. She’s sick of the bitch and her obnoxious comments.

This morning, I decided to write my daughter a note to have her dismissed three hours early. But we’re not going clothes shopping. We’re going to go out and have breakfast for lunch and maybe do some other things.

She was so happy when I dropped her off.

So… either I’ve failed Parenting 101… or I get extra credit.

I vote for the latter.

 

• • •
©2018 what sandra thinks

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About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Hawaii where she could learn to surf. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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31 Responses to dismissed.

  1. I’d give a double credit at least. Well done Mom!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Definitely the latter. This other kid won’t be a blip on her radar years from now. Make sure she understands that. That other girl is gonna have a rude introduction to life at some point.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lee Dunn says:

    I would vote for your tradition any day.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Mental health days like that are SOOOO important! The parents I work for let the kids stay home too if they request it (maybe a little too much for one of them haha) but it’s important for the kids to know that it’s ok to have a break day when you really need it.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. mandibelle16 says:

    Sandra, I can relate to your daughter and experiencing these social issues from elementary school on. I often had m own friends that were great, but also had instances where ‘supposed’ friends turned on me. So, for your daughter, she first needs to stand up to this bully and tell her outright, I consider you my friend, but lately you’ve been really mean to me (a bitch), and I don’t know why,, but I don’t deserve this and I’m better than you b/c I don’t treat my friends like you do

    Secondly, she should deepen her relationships with the other girls in the group, start doing stuff with one or two of them, not including this bitchy girl. They can go to a cheap movie or have a sleepover without this other girl. She should strengthen her bonds with the other girls to keep their friendship (if she wants it). Also, she eventually up bitchy girl, mention that slough She really likes so and so (bitchy friend), and that they have so much fun together with her too. But lately she’s upset at her, and doesn’t treat her nice. She can mention she is not as close as she used to be to this girl, and say she’s nice when you guys are here’s; but when you’re no she’s really mean. She can ask if they know why this girl doesn’t like her, if her others friends know.

    This can provide more insight in the bully problem through her other friends. I’m guessing that your daughter is beautiful and smart, and that this bitchy girl is just jealous of her in someway. She maybe able to talk to her, after better being prepared, through info from her other friends. Maybe she can find the root of her bitchy friends issues. Nevertheless, if all goes to Hell, even though it’s tearful and tough to deal with, your daughter can make better friends. Ones not stuck in the popularity cycle to such a degree.

    B/c she has great qualities and looks to be jealous about from her bitchy friend, she could easily make other friends too; and hang out with some of her old ones if this is possible. Sometimes friends act out when they need a break from e/o. And if that’s the case, Searching for new friends at school etc. Might be a good course of action, especially, until things calm down. She maybe able to fix her past friendship in the future. I’m not sure your daughters age, but in latter high school and after that bullying happens much less. It’s a matter of standing up for ones self and not accepting a role as a passive victim or punching bag. Call this bitchy girl our on her behavior. Do so in the right way, but your daughter shouldn’t have to remain this mean girl’s victim.

    Sorry for the length. But maybe this helps. Cheers Sandra. You’re a great Mom and person.

    Like

  6. mandibelle16 says:

    *Also she can, eventually, Bri g up the ‘bitchy girl’ with her other friends. She can say she really likes her, and likes having fun with her, but lately she is acting different.(Paragraph 2)

    Like

  7. Meg says:

    I think its a great idea! Everyone needs a break once in a while and getting out of that girl’s way for a reprieve sounds like a good plan. I wish it was possible to let kids know that they will forget these hateful people when they get though with school. She will never have to see her again. And I agree – this girl is in for a rude awakening!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Hunida says:

    That’s so cute the tradition your mom bad with you & your sister. And I totally agree that you get extra credit!!! That little bitch sounds like a real pain in the ass!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Extra credit for sure. I would let my kids stay home every once in awhile just for a fun day. Who doesn’t need that?

    Liked by 1 person

  10. You’re such a great Mom. You and your daughter have such a special bond. I’m so happy you are carrying on the tradition of your Mom. What a cool idea. Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

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