a bunch of random stuff.

[I’m not sure about that comma. Does it really belong there?

I’m still empty. And I’m not sure what to think… I’ve never felt quite like this. I always have something to say. But lately, it’s hard for me to post… to email… to talk… to communicate… because I feel like I have nothing to say. Nothing that matters, anyway. My life is boring. And now I’m going to tell you about it. Parts of it. But yeah… it’s boring.

The shops.
I have been trying to get my Etsy shop open but I feel anxious and I’ve been having a little trouble. I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing and I hate that feeling. How the fuck do you write a description for a freaking birthday card? How do you give it a title? It’s a card. It has birthday candles on it. That’s pretty much it.

My other shop (on RedBubble) is open… it’s just sitting there. I don’t know how to promote it so I doubt I will get much business… beyond a few friends who probably just feel sorry for me. (Not that I don’t think you’re wonderful people… I am so thankful… ♥) I guess I should link it since I’m talking about it anyway… but it’s in the sidebar… but if you read in the Reader (I hate that fucking thing… makes my blog’s design pointless), you don’t even see that. I’m so glad I spend (waste) time making my blog look good.

More ‘work’-related stuff.
My husband’s HR manager volunteered to look at my resumé. She gave me some great notes and I worked on making those changes. I do have an issue, though. I called myself a ‘freelancer’ during the gaps where I was laid off and had no luck finding a job so I was out of work for a while. And that is fine and not totally a lie. However, she says I really need to list specific projects.

Mostly, I did favors for people (not that anyone needs to know that my work was mostly unpaid). I don’t know how to list ‘specific projects‘ of that nature. How do I make party invitations, various types of cards, and a few instances of designing graphics for the internet sound professional? I haven’t a clue. And how specific do I need to be? Do I need to say for whom I did the work? That seems a bit much. So… I’m stuck.

Once I get that updated, I want to reload it to all the job sites I’m using (and failing with). But I still have the full-time/part-time situation. With my previous experience… in my nondescript field, part-time is hard to find… but that’s really what I need. (FYI, before you say it, no I can’t take a job in retail or some other such hell because the on/off back pain I’ve had since childbirth prevents me from being on my feet for long periods of time. And I’m not going to physically torture myself for minimum wage or, you know, for any wage.)

My daughter’s ‘friend’ situation.
(I’m going to make this as brief as possible because I’m sure you’re sick of reading about it…)

After my husband contacted the school, the principal spoke to both girls separately. And he called the other girl’s parents. However, that morning before either of them met with Mr. M, A (the ‘friend’) handed my daughter multiple notes apologizing… saying she didn’t mean any of it… saying that she was mad about something (no idea what) but she wanted to be friends again. Then the Mr. M meetings happened, but still, she wanted to be friends again.

When we heard from Mr. M and he said ‘they are friends now’, we were baffled. After school, my daughter filled in the blanks. But she is smart… and nice… so she says she will be friends with this girl but she’s not going to forget all those things she said and they’ll never be best friends again.

• • •

So… this was a rambling mess. I really wish I could write a decent post. I don’t know what’s wrong with me… it seems all I talk about is having nothing to talk about. And just stupid life stuff. I’m sick of myself. But I guess I still crave people to talk to… so you get this. Sorry…

 


©2017 what sandra thinks

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About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Hawaii where she could learn to surf. She loves music, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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30 Responses to a bunch of random stuff.

  1. You’re not alone…. you’re never alone.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Halycon Prana says:

    Just checked out your shop =O awesome! you’ve been busy 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Anindya says:

    Loved the way you summed up this one…..I can definitely relate to many of the confusions and feelings you have expressed here…..ultimately everything passes…..and everything becomes right and falls into place…….:)…..

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Rambling mess that is now out…
    Sometimes the urge to write about anything is simply a nuisance. What you did here, is simply share your thoughts and sometimes that is good.

    And the comma is perfect.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. You aren’t alone. Hardly anyone ever actually “listens” to me. In real life or on social media. And my mind NEVER stops running rampid.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. There’s plenty of us out here who don’t mind being talked to, or even talked AT. The blog wasn’t pointless, nor was the comma! Hope the daughter situation remains good. Hugs as ever.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Ok, first of all, told you she’d work it out. You’re daughter sounds wise beyond her years. She figured it out, even though the douche apologized.

    Secondly, as far as your résumé goes, maybe include what tasks you did, even if for no cost to your friends and family. Give a snippet about it, but stay somewhat vague. Say what the project was, like “responsible for creation of a graphic design for stationary used during a special event”. Ya’ know?

    And lastly, I despise the Reader View as well. I try and keep my site looking pretty good. I love the background color changes I get based on the colors in the header pic, etc. On the new format, nobody sees any of it. Kinda lame. 😒

    Liked by 1 person

    • I see it. 🙂 For the blogs I follow closely, I get the posts emailed to me so I click into the post every time… I always see yours.

      And yes… the Reader sucks. I even contacted WP about it at one point… I asked them what the fuck (didn’t use that word but wanted to) was the point of them having all these themes and options but then having a Reader where none of that shows so people never see it?!? It makes no sense. Even the fonts I choose for my blog… those don’t show in the Reader… nor does my header or the sidebar or anything else I’ve customized. I hate that so much.

      I still have a bit of concern over my daughter’s friend thing… because they are being friends now and I don’t want this to happen again. And today after school, she asked me if she would be allowed to go if invited to this friend’s birthday party. I told my kid I wasn’t sure how to answer that. I feel bad saying no if she wants to go… but on the other hand… I’m just not sure if she should. And I’m betting my husband will say no. So yeah… no idea what to do with that. We saw her mother walking up toward the school on our way out this afternoon and she waved to my daughter. Doesn’t seem like there are any hard feelings… but still…

      (Yeah… wise beyond her years… she already acts 14 or 15… can’t wait ’til she actually gets there… god help me.)

      And thanks for the resume idea. For one thing, “special event” sounds way better than party!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I know I’m a little late commenting on this one, so I’ll be brief and just echo what everyone else has been saying: I’m glad your daughter is friends again with this girl but I’m also glad she has a great head on her shoulders (a testament to your parenting skills!) and won’t be forgetting the horrible things that happened.

    For the freelance thing, there are many ways to spin that. I like how sonofabeach put it! 🙂

    As for your stores: best of luck on them! Starting up anything new is always scary and I’m glad that you are taking that leap 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Just keep writing S. We love keeping up with you. I do think things will get better. Hang in there. I’m happy the girl apologized. Your daughter is smart just like you 💜

    Liked by 1 person

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