door to door.

Don’t come to my door. 

I was making dinner tonight with a little fresh air wafting in through the screen door. It wasn’t particularly warm, but the light breeze was refreshing. The ringing doorbell was not. Especially since it was accompanied by knocking. What the fuck? Pick one. Better yet, pick none.

Had the door been closed, I would have pretended I wasn’t home and waited for them to give up. Who the hell knows how long that would have taken… I’ll bet the ringing and knocking would have continued for quite some time. But stupid me wanted fresh air… so the door was open… and I had to deal with it.

Two guys… one did all the talking… the other one just stood there, a few feet back. They wanted to give me a free estimate on roofing and siding.

First of all, our roof is new. Did they even fucking look up? I don’t need a roof.

Second, if I were in the market for a new roof or new siding, I’d call someone. Oh but he wasn’t giving up. He just kept talking. Asking for my name… my husband’s name… No.

We’re not planning on doing any work on the house.

“It’s just a free estimate. It’s guaranteed even if you don’t have the work done now.”

I don’t give a fuck. I don’t deal with this stuff anyway and my husband’s at work.

“When will he be home? We can come back.”

Are you fucking serious? Take a goddamn hint.

I don’t know when he’ll be home. It varies. 

“Can I get a number where I can reach you?”

No. I’m not giving you a number. We’re not going to have any work done.

“It’s just for a free estimate.”

I don’t need an estimate. We’re not going to have any work done. Ugh… then I had to get into the unemployed speech… I got laid off, we have no extra money. It will be years before we even think about any major projects.

OMG… I could not get these fuckheads to leave.

Until…

My daughter… oh, the mouth on her has its benefits. “Mooooooooommm?

I have to go. Door closed.

And don’t come back, dammit!

I’m making dinner. I have kids. I’m fucking busy. And I’m not going to decide to have major work done because some pushy asshat shows up at my door uninvited and unwelcome.

Do these fuckers really get any business by harassing people this way? Even if I needed the exact service they were selling, I’d get it somewhere else… from someone who didn’t come to my door and intrude on my evening. I cannot possibly be the only one who wants to tell them to leave me the hell alone.

And get the fuck off my lawn.


©2017 what sandra thinks

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About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Hawaii where she could learn to surf. She loves music, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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18 Responses to door to door.

  1. nkdwhtguy says:

    I feel the same way. Just because I have my front door open doesn’t mean I’m inviting you to come sell me something. I wanted to get a “no soliciting” sign to put by my doorbell, but my wife says that would be rude…..of course, it’s me (not her) who has to get these people to go away.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Simon says:

    They do get busyness from this. Letting them in is the dusty mistake as is showing any interest.
    I’ve had this and i can’t stand it!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Politeness lasts through the first attempt. The Fuck Off! Immediately follows the second attempt. Problem solved. We don’t get many drop-ins like that, mainly due to distance from road and the roughness of our drive. But, years ago, two little dudes in white shirts and black ties hopped out of Toyota Tercel wanting to spread their word to me. I just shook my head and sent them on their way. I bet the underside of that poor little car was scraped to hell and back going down the drive. 😃

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Meg Sorick says:

    We have been pestered by a paving company hoping to resurface our driveway. It must really look bad because they come back every spring! I can’t imagine signing up for a service through solicitation. However, just like telemarketing it must be working on somebody!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Well, are you sure you wouldn’t reconsider? 🙂 I usually say, wow, and we just had the roof done, and the siding, and Andersen windows and doors, before they barely get a chance to speak. And if they come at dinnertime I wouldn’t even be that nice!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Meh…I’ve been known to yell out “Sorry, we’re not home!” LOL

    Liked by 1 person

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