This is part 19 of secret admirer. ♥ (I know, it’s already Monday… so very sorry.)
“Oh my God, I’m sorry.” My heart was pounding so hard, so fast, I thought he might actually be able to hear it.
“What are you sorry for?” His face had the sweetest hint of a smile.
“I don’t know… I just… I didn’t mean to say that…”
“You didn’t?” His smile grew. “Maybe you did…” With his fingers still in my hair, his thumb ran slowly over my cheek.
“Greg… I…” He stopped me with a long, slow kiss. When our lips parted, he sighed softly and I felt his hold on my head intensify.
“Amy… Remember that day I caught you leaving the gym and you told me you didn’t want me to give up?”
Of course I remember. “Yes.”
“I was in love with you way before that.”
“What?” My heart never had a chance.
“You heard me.”
I couldn’t breathe. Or speak. Or move.
“Honey… are you alright?”
“I have no idea.” What is happening? Oh God. He loves me? Sweet, beautiful Greg… loves me.
I laid my hand on his chest and tried to speak but when I couldn’t, he answered his own question.
“I think you’re okay…”
“I think you’re better than okay.”
“You think?” His smile was just… irresistible.
“No… I’m sure.” I ran a finger over his lips. “Better than okay.” My mouth played with his, but still, I spoke. “Much better…” My tongue, my lips teased his. “Sweet and amazing and delicious and…”
I smiled but only for an instant. He took my mouth, kissing me as he gently lowered me onto the couch. I held his head in my hands and sighed when he sucked on my neck. Without taking his mouth from my warm skin, he slipped a hand down my side to my waist. He grabbed me there for a moment before sneaking his fingers under my shirt.
I gasped when I felt his hand on my skin. His touch slowly traveled up my side, pushing my shirt up, until he stopped at my bra. He held me there and took his mouth from me. The heat of his breath washed over me. The strength of his grasp at my side… and the weight of his body over mine… My insides melted.
My heart pounded madly. I think he felt it because he brought his kisses there… down my neck, to my heart, as far as my shirt would allow. I could feel my hands shaking. I let his head go and he crawled down my body until his mouth reached my stomach. The moment his lips touched me there, I closed my eyes and mumbled his name. His kisses traced the path his hand had taken… higher… higher. I shivered… And I forgot how to breathe.
This is happening. Oh God. He is… oh God. I have never felt anything as beautiful as his kisses. I can’t believe I ever thought Dan was good enough for me. And his mother. His fucking mother. Dan never cared how awful she was to me. Maybe he never cared about me. Oh God, why am I thinking about this? I don’t want to think about this. What is wrong with me? Stop. Dan is gone. Why won’t he get out of my head? I just want Greg… I want his kisses… that have stopped.
I opened my eyes and found his inches away.
He gently tucked my hair behind my ear. “Honey, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing…” Can he read my mind?
“Amy, you’re crying…”
“I am?” I lifted my hand to my face and felt my own tears. “I am.” Mind-reading not required.
“Come here…” He sat up and pulled me to him, nestling my head in the curve of his neck. I took a deep breath of him and tried to stop crying. But when I felt him kiss my head, my tears fell faster.
“Honey.” His words were almost whispers. “Tell me what’s wrong…”
I didn’t know how to explain the chaos in my head. “I am so sorry, Greg. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“Nothing. There is nothing wrong with you.” Again, he kissed my head. And then it all poured out of me.
“Oh, honey… I’m such a mess. My life is a disaster. I don’t understand how I got here. I can’t remember what made me marry Dan. I don’t even think he loved me. And I don’t know why I let Donna treat me so horribly. Her voice won’t get out of my head. Because I’m weak and I’m just… pathetic. I’m so sorry.” My breath quickened and my tears wouldn’t stop. “I’m so sorry, Greg…”
“Amy…” He lifted my head and held it in his hands. My eyes found his again and I swore I saw them smiling for me again. “You are not pathetic.” I parted my lips to speak, but he silenced me with a kiss before he spoke again. “I should have given you more time. We can stop. We need to stop.”
“But I don’t want to stop. It’s not you… God, you’re so sweet. I want everything else out of my head. But it won’t go away. Why am I so weak…?”
“You’re not. My God, Amy, you’ve been through so much in the last few days. Of course you’re overwhelmed. But I think you’re amazing. You are so much stronger than you think.” He cracked a little smile. “And beautiful. Don’t forget beautiful.”
I took his face in my hands and kissed him. “You are so good to me. And I am so sorry.”
“Honey… shh. It’s okay.” The moment he was silent, he knew I was going to apologize again but he wouldn’t let me. “No more apologies.”
I nodded. “I’m sorry.” For apologizing. I was sorry for apologizing.
He laughed softly and sighed my name. “It’s okay. I promise it is.” He kissed my forehead and kept my head against his. “Amy… I was always going to wait for you…”
Tears ran down my cheeks again but this time, they were for Greg. Because he said the most beautiful things to me. “Honey?”
“I like when you call me that.” He squeezed me in his arms and I felt him smile. “I’m sorry… what were you going to say?”
“I want all of this to be over… And then I want you…”
“It will be over. Soon, honey. And then you can have me.”
To be continued…