seconds later.

girl insecon

seconds later.

I woke up feeling hope today,
Rested, strong, maybe even okay.
But seconds later…
My insides twisted into knots,
Worry and fear invading my thoughts.

I knew just how to clear my head –
Straighten up this room and make my bed.
But seconds later…
I felt myself begin to cry,
And like always, I didn’t know why.

Deep breaths should have helped to calm me.
One… Two… Three… quiet, peaceful, steady.
But seconds later…
I tried so hard to understand,
My head down, sobbing into my hand.

Told myself to stop the madness –
This isn’t the first time you’ve had this.
But seconds later…
I’m still crying, tears rolling down.
Ever so grateful no one’s around.

Humor sometimes helps get me through.
I just need to laugh – that, I can do.
But seconds later…
The laughter stops, the tears restart.
I’m fighting again. I hate this part.

I don’t want to be the sad one,
Always the girl who has come undone.
But seconds later…
It’s time for me to give this up.
I will never see the half-full cup.

Now I need to escape in sleep
Where dreams can give me needed relief.
And seconds later…
Dreams of happiness and laughter,
Yet every day still a disaster.

~Writing 101 | Poetry | day 4

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Hawaii where she could learn to surf. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
This entry was posted in anxiety, bloggingu, depression, personal, poetry, writing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to seconds later.

  1. izabolinha says:

    And this is the girl who “couldn’t do poetry” much less rime .;)
    Turtle Hugs ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  2. stephieann8 says:

    This is so me. I’m a rollercoaster some days.

    Liked by 1 person

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  4. nearlywes says:

    Gotta love poetry that has a certain flow throughout it, helps it feel unique, more real. It’s even better when your readers can connect with the words. Days like the ones you describe are awful, but I’ve found that there is always light somewhere. It’s a pain to find and sometimes even when found it can fade, but the days of sadness are important in a strange way, They give the good days much more meaning.
    (Philosophy nerd Wes tip toes away.)

    Love your writing Sandra, you’re awesome! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Wandering Soul says:

    Love it! Describes the state of confusion and despair so well. Don’t want to cry but for some reason can’t stop either.
    Add poetry to your list of amazing skills. Designing, story telling, creative writing non fiction, poetry. Whew! Girl you continue to amaze me. Well done.

    Liked by 2 people

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  8. Meritings says:

    I absolutely love it. You must do more. If they all come out serious and sad, so be it. Just smile and laugh and enjoy the fact that you’ve done it. Happy, joyful ones will come.

    Liked by 2 people

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