I’m losing it.

I have read 91 books this year.

But I’m losing my reading bug.

[Can I just add that I spent a solid fifteen minutes trying to think of (and look up) another word to use for “bug” in this sentence, and I came up empty. I hate the use of “bug” here (or in any way that’s not referring to an actual insect), but I could find no suitable substitution. It’s still irritating me. Or, you know, bugging me.]

Let’s take a look at my recent reading history.

August — 16 books read
September — 7 books read
October — 2 books read
November — none yet

But October… freaking two! Two books! (Two doesn’t look like a word anymore.)

I’d love to say this sharp decrease is because I’ve been writing so much, but I haven’t been writing that much. Especially where fiction is concerned. (And I think we’ve already established that fiction is my favorite kind of writing.)

What the hell happened to me? No, I’m not busier. Truthfully, the only external factor that has changed is my [increased] anxiety/stress/worry level. Although, technically speaking , that’s not an external factor. That’s an internal factor. The external factors are all the things in my life that are going to shit around me. But usually, increased anxiety would make me read more. To escape. I’m wondering if this latest extended bout is so huge that it’s not even allowing me to escape.

What the fuck?

I don’t like this.

Several of my favorite authors dropped new books over the last few weeks, but I’m still not reading enough. The sex god pictured below, right, is on one of the covers. What the hell is wrong with me??

• • • • •

I’m sorry I haven’t read your book, Mr. Right. And don’t worry, Mr. Left. I haven’t forgotten about you. 

p.s. —  I am currently reading three books. Not that I’m actively reading them of late, but I’m in the middle of three books. I never do that. I’m usually a one-until-I’m-done-and-then-on-to-the-next kind of reader. Something is going on in my head and I don’t think I like it.

©2021 what sandra thinks

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Italy, but she would settle for a non-oceanfront home in Italy, too. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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14 Responses to I’m losing it.

  1. Jhuma Khan says:

    Been there, it sucks!


  2. Deepika says:

    Oh wow 91 books?? I’ve read line 43 books so far this year. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed after I read many books back to back. I try to take a break for some days and get back to reading again.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I love to read, but I go in spurts due to headaches and life! I don’t keep an actual track of how many, though.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Simon says:

    Sounds like a reading funk – I’m sure it’ll pass… 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. A temporary hiatus only, and Mr Right (and Left) will understand. 😻

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Danny Watts says:

    91 – Impressive and congratulations. If I read 9 (I rarely read books containing less than 650 pages) I consider it a monumental year. I have way too many interests. As for “bug” I would consider zeal, which I imagine you did.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. gigglingfattie says:

    I have just started reading again after 5 months of not reading at all. I think reading motivation comes and goes for me that its normal to have big breaks for me. I hope you find the motivation again!

    Liked by 1 person

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