31 questions | march 5.

March 5
What’s the worst piece of advice you’ve ever been given?

Marry for love.

Okay, maybe not that. Maybe I say that because I thought I was marrying for love, but I wasn’t. And I sure as fuck didn’t marry for money. Most of the time, I think I’d be happier if I had married for money.

Oh, wait! I know!

Fairy Tales aren’t real.

I wish no one had ever said those words to me. Those words ruined my life. Being told the love I was looking for only existed in fiction—in fairy tales—that ruined me. It broke me. It made me give up. It made me sad. It put an end to my [relatively] happy twenties. And it made me settle. Now I’ve been married for so long to who I think is the wrong man, and it’s too late for me to have the love [and the life] I always wanted.

I know you’re thinking ‘it’s never too late‘, but to me, it is. Part of ‘the love [and the life] I always wanted‘ was being young and happy and excited and optimistic about my future with my soulmate… with so much life ahead of me… and spending that life with him. None of that is going to happen. It’s too late.

p.s. — Allow me to give you all a piece of advice that I wish someone had given me: Never settle. Doing that was the worst decision I ever made… and I’ve made some really horrible decisions.

[Thanks to my dear friend Marquessa for this 31 questions challenge.]

         
©2021 what sandra thinks

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Hawaii where she could learn to surf. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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17 Responses to 31 questions | march 5.

  1. Does your husband know that you’re kind of publicly trashing him?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nope. He doesn’t read my blog. Doesn’t know what it’s called. Part of my reason for starting this blog was to vent about him (and about the rest of my life). It’s also why I’m pretty much anonymous. No one from my ‘real life’ (family, etc) knows how to find my blog. And no one here knows who I really am… other than ‘sandra’. [There are actually a couple of exceptions… friends from here who are very close to me… but for the most part, I’m anonymous.]

      Liked by 1 person

      • M says:

        Sandra, speaking YOUR truth is always the way to go. If venting is trashing, a lot of us would not even have blogs. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        • I don’t even care if I am trashing. 🙂 But yeah, a huge part of my reason for blogging is venting. In fact, in the beginning, I thought I might post some fiction, but the rest was all going to be rambling and venting. It probably has something to do with my need for therapy. I can’t find one I like and I don’t want to pay for it anyway. This is free…

          Liked by 1 person

  2. Ogden Fahey says:

    I have a few quid in the bank honey! Enough to last a weekend or so anyhow! ❤ 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is what I love about your writing Sandra, openness and honesty. It still hurts to read sometimes, but I love it.
    My worst piece of advice received – Try it, you’ll love it! I did – I didn’t!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. M says:

    You never fail to be honest, truthful and authentic when you post. Remember that. Like I have always said, we show up for you and your blog for that very reason! Settling is not the way to go but many in our age group was taught that lesson. If we knew then what we know now…we could have ruled the world. xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    • Although I wouldn’t want that job. Probably. Unless I could do it from my couch with a bunch of chocolate and a jar of peanut butter by my side. And a hot guy waiting for me in my bedroom. Or beside me on the couch. Wait… what were we talking about again?

      Oh yes. I think I married for fear and desperation. I was afraid I’d end up alone, so I figured my husband was ‘good enough’. Yeah, that was kind of wrong. Sometimes I think that if I realized all of this before I had kids, I’d probably have left him by now. Isn’t that horrible? Now, I have kids and no job, so I’m not going anywhere….

      Liked by 1 person

  5. jrvincente says:

    Oh my goodness, I know exactly what you mean. I thought I was marrying for love. And… well… I’m filing for divorce. I moved out. We’re doing custody and everything. Hang in there. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m so sorry… that is so much to go through. If you want to talk, I’m here. ♥

      Part of me wishes I had the courage to do something about my situation, but I don’t. I am the least brave person I know. I don’t even have a job. How could I leave? How could I take care of my kids? I really don’t have any options. I’m stuck.

      Like

      • jrvincente says:

        Thanks. ❤ I'm doing really well, actually. I've heard before that I was brave to do it, but the reality is that I couldn't do anything else. It was painfully obvious that I needed to get out and I had a great support system to do it. I couldn't have done it (easily) on my own!

        Liked by 1 person

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