letters | t/teenagers #atozchallenge

letters | a to z | what sandra thinks

Dear [my] Teenagers,

You’ve made it this far in life. [Okay, my girl, you are only 12, but you sure as hell act like a teenager, so go with it.] It’s not by accident that you made it here. You did have help along the way. And yeah, Dad helped, too. Seriously, though. I try my best. Am I the best mom? Hell no. Sometimes I don’t even think I’m a good mom. But I adore you both and would do anything for you. That doesn’t mean I’ll do it right. But I will do it.

Especially during these trying times (and they are really fucking trying times), there are some important things for you to remember. Some you may know, some you may not. Some you may know are meant for the other kid. Well, suck it up… you have to read them all anyway!

Please commit these to memory. There will be a test.

  1. Me not doing something for you isn’t a reason to get upset.
  2. Me doing something for you isn’t a reason to get upset either.
  3. And me doing something for you doesn’t mean I’ll do it for you for the rest of your life.
  4. Waking at 2:00pm is not ‘waking up early’.
  5. Waking up at 8:00am is not ‘sleeping in’.
  6. Me telling you what to do is not disrespectful. You not doing it is disrespectful.
  7. You are not the boss of me. I am the boss of you. I am the parent; you are the child. Please be sure to make the proper distinction.
  8. Fortnite is not a sport. Thusly, an Xbox is not a piece of exercise equipment.
  9. No, I don’t know what fucking day it is. Check your damn phone.
  10. Complaining about the same thing over and over again isn’t going to change shit. [Trust me, I know.]
  11. Yes, cooking for yourself is an important life skill. You really do need to learn how to do it. I know the gas stove has scary blue fire, but you’re going to have to get over it. I will also teach you about fire extinguishers.
  12. Likewise, laundry is an important life skill that you must master.
  13. Remember that we only have one bathroom. Plan accordingly.
  14. You need to work out your differences with each other. I am your mom, not your referee.
  15. Do as I say, not as I fucking do. Yes, this includes foul language. [And it includes cheesecake— I know I had two pieces but you only get one. I’m the mom. That’s the rule. Aaaand Dad doesn’t like cheesecake so it looks like I get three. If this isn’t worth becoming a mom, I don’t know what is.]

And remember… you will always be my babies. Even when you’re 50.

love,
mom

p.s. — I will give you an hour before the test to review. Starting… now. I sure hope you don’t get the cheesecake question wrong.

 

         
©2020 what sandra thinks

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Hawaii where she could learn to surf. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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22 Responses to letters | t/teenagers #atozchallenge

  1. simplywendi says:

    oh my goodness Sandra, I needed to read this and laugh, thank you! With 4 teens in the house sometimes I feel like I am loosing my mind during this social isolation! Thanks again and your kids are very blessed to have you as their mom.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. haha this is cute! I love it! 🙂 The son upstairs is 14 and hasn’t received the laptop from his school yet to do his school work. I’ve lent some devices which they are using but for the most part he needs the laptop, so he’s been learning other things. He’s been doing all the laundry for their family (I stepped in a few days ago because he kept putting the entire load on one side and I was tired of pushing the machine back after it had vibrated out into the middle of the laundry room) and he’s been in the yard learning yard work and helping his dad build a fence, and taking care of gardens. Domestic skills are 100% needed!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. No. 7 should be No. 1. 😏

    Liked by 1 person

  4. jrvincente says:

    These are some great rules!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Loved this one. Do you want the bad news now, or later?
    It doesn’t get better!!

    Like

  6. BriN says:

    That was hilarious😂 And cute.X

    Liked by 1 person

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