letters | t/teenagers #atozchallenge

Posted on 23 April 2020 by what sandra thinks

letters | a to z | what sandra thinks

Dear [my] Teenagers,

You’ve made it this far in life. [Okay, my girl, you are only 12, but you sure as hell act like a teenager, so go with it.] It’s not by accident that you made it here. You did have help along the way. And yeah, Dad helped, too. Seriously, though. I try my best. Am I the best mom? Hell no. Sometimes I don’t even think I’m a good mom. But I adore you both and would do anything for you. That doesn’t mean I’ll do it right. But I will do it.

Especially during these trying times (and they are really fucking trying times), there are some important things for you to remember. Some you may know, some you may not. Some you may know are meant for the other kid. Well, suck it up… you have to read them all anyway!

Please commit these to memory. There will be a test.

  1. Me not doing something for you isn’t a reason to get upset.
  2. Me doing something for you isn’t a reason to get upset either.
  3. And me doing something for you doesn’t mean I’ll do it for you for the rest of your life.
  4. Waking at 2:00pm is not ‘waking up early’.
  5. Waking up at 8:00am is not ‘sleeping in’.
  6. Me telling you what to do is not disrespectful. You not doing it is disrespectful.
  7. You are not the boss of me. I am the boss of you. I am the parent; you are the child. Please be sure to make the proper distinction.
  8. Fortnite is not a sport. Thusly, an Xbox is not a piece of exercise equipment.
  9. No, I don’t know what fucking day it is. Check your damn phone.
  10. Complaining about the same thing over and over again isn’t going to change shit. [Trust me, I know.]
  11. Yes, cooking for yourself is an important life skill. You really do need to learn how to do it. I know the gas stove has scary blue fire, but you’re going to have to get over it. I will also teach you about fire extinguishers.
  12. Likewise, laundry is an important life skill that you must master.
  13. Remember that we only have one bathroom. Plan accordingly.
  14. You need to work out your differences with each other. I am your mom, not your referee.
  15. Do as I say, not as I fucking do. Yes, this includes foul language. [And it includes cheesecake— I know I had two pieces but you only get one. I’m the mom. That’s the rule. Aaaand Dad doesn’t like cheesecake so it looks like I get three. If this isn’t worth becoming a mom, I don’t know what is.]

And remember… you will always be my babies. Even when you’re 50.

love,
mom

p.s. — I will give you an hour before the test to review. Starting… now. I sure hope you don’t get the cheesecake question wrong.

 

         
©2020 what sandra thinks

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, sometimes blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Italy, but she would settle for a non-oceanfront home in Italy. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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22 Responses to letters | t/teenagers #atozchallenge

  1. simplywendi says:
    23 April 2020 at 10:44 am

    oh my goodness Sandra, I needed to read this and laugh, thank you! With 4 teens in the house sometimes I feel like I am loosing my mind during this social isolation! Thanks again and your kids are very blessed to have you as their mom.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  2. gigglingfattie says:
    23 April 2020 at 11:29 am

    haha this is cute! I love it! 🙂 The son upstairs is 14 and hasn’t received the laptop from his school yet to do his school work. I’ve lent some devices which they are using but for the most part he needs the laptop, so he’s been learning other things. He’s been doing all the laundry for their family (I stepped in a few days ago because he kept putting the entire load on one side and I was tired of pushing the machine back after it had vibrated out into the middle of the laundry room) and he’s been in the yard learning yard work and helping his dad build a fence, and taking care of gardens. Domestic skills are 100% needed!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • what sandra thinks says:
      23 April 2020 at 12:31 pm

      That kid is doing more than either of mine in the area of domestic skills. I hate yard work so I’m not out there doing that with or without them!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      • gigglingfattie says:
        23 April 2020 at 2:13 pm

        HAHA the mom has insisted that he learn. She is raising quality humans up there. Like I’ve told you, she is a corrections officer at one of the local jails and she sees what happens to boys who don’t have good foundation and the men they grow up to be. And I hate yard work too! Like I’ll grow a vegetable garden but that’s about it.

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
  3. sonofabeach96 says:
    23 April 2020 at 11:45 am

    No. 7 should be No. 1. 😏

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  4. jrvincente says:
    23 April 2020 at 2:00 pm

    These are some great rules!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  6. Peter's pondering says:
    24 April 2020 at 4:30 pm

    Loved this one. Do you want the bad news now, or later?
    It doesn’t get better!!

    Like

    Reply
  7. BriN says:
    15 May 2020 at 1:24 am

    That was hilarious😂 And cute.X

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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