I was just thinking | s/soulmate #atozchallenge

I was just thinking | whatsandrathinks

Do I really have a soulmate? And if I do, how the fuck am I supposed to find him?

Am I someone who doesn’t have a soulmate? Or will never find him even if he is out there?

Could he be on the other side of the world? Or is part of what makes him my soulmate his general location? Because, let’s face it, if my soulmate lives in Japan, I’m never going to find him.

Have I already met him but didn’t know it was him? Did I miss him? Please say no. Is part of what makes him my soulmate me knowing if I met him?

I’m not sure who I’m looking for
I’ll know it when I see you
I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away
I’m tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
[John Mayer helping me out again ‘Love Song for No One’]

I want the magic. I want something special to happen inside me when I’m around him… especially when he touches me. It’s a sense of excitement and calm at the same time.

And… sorry if I repeat myself from the R post, but, I’m doing it anyway. So I guess I’m not really sorry.

I want the dream. A love where he thinks of me and makes sure I know it. He makes me feel special all the time. He remembers the little things so his gestures are truly meant for me. He takes care of himself (abs! seriously, though…) because he wants to be the best he can be for me. He adores me, flaws and all. He even loves my dirty mouth.

And that’s the love I want to give to him in return.

So, Mr. Soulmate, are you a dream or are you out there? Where are you? Get the fuck over here.


p.s.—And if he doesn’t exist, I guess I will live in my dreamworld forever. Isn’t there a room for that? The one with padded walls? Yeah. That’s the one.

©2019 what sandra thinks

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Italy, but she would settle for a non-oceanfront home in Italy, too. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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17 Responses to I was just thinking | s/soulmate #atozchallenge

  1. Pingback: I was just thinking | s/soulmate #atozchallenge – cherishthelady

  2. Don’t you remember?
    Don’t you remember?

    It was in a cafe in Barcelona, or it might have been Buenos Aries or Milan, and you rushed in with you hair all messed up like you had just come out of the shower and were about to miss a bus or something and then you turned to me, a complete stranger, and you said, “Is this rain ever going to stop?”
    And I said, “Maybe it just did.”

    Don’t you remember?

    Liked by 3 people

  3. SandyLand says:

    I have always said that my best friend is the love of my life AND my soul mate. I had to give up on the idea of my soul mate in the romantic sense because just obviously seemed like it would never happen. Your soul mate, whoever it is, is out there waiting for you too. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I did have a long distance friend who is say is the closest thing I have to a soulmate (the non romantic kind). But since she is so far away, our contact is limited. It’s not enough. She is enough, I just don’t get enough time with her. Or, you know, any.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Meg says:

    I’m not sure there is just one person for each of us. Let’s face it, someone you might have thought of as a soul mate when you were 20 or 30 might not be your type any more. But whatever stage of life we are at, I believe there is someone we can fall in love with. And when you meet him, you’ll both know it!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hunida says:

    Even if he’s in Japan right now, when you’re meant to meet your soulmate, it will happen!! ♡ Also LOL’d at your P.S. note. Hahaha.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Monique28 says:

    The waiting period is the hardest I know they say ones you stop looking he will come. but do you really stop looking.. and i’m like you have i missed him , have i been ignoring him…or did i not show up at that spot at that time for us to meet.. i’m convinced ima be the old lady in a big house with a dog and empty rooms(because my son moved out)

    Liked by 1 person

  7. heatherjo86 says:

    I’m so sorry you’re in this predicament. You make me laugh because you are very serious about those abs. I pray things get better in your household. No one should feel trapped in their own home.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks… and I’m glad I make you laugh. I just feel like it’s too late for me. I’m not 25 anymore… I’ve missed out on so much of life by not living it with the right person.


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