I hide things. Not in a literal sense. Well, I guess there are a couple of things I hide in a literal sense… my chocolate stash, my adult toy. But the non-literal hidden things—they are mostly embarrassing as hell. I’m ashamed, in some cases more deeply than others.
Embarrassing things about me.
[The list will be short as I don’t think I can humiliate myself quite that much all in one shot.]
1. I am addicted to a certain app. I can’t stop. I’ve even paid to get rid of the ads, which, in this app, only takes them away for a month. If I continue down this road of addiction, I’m going to keep paying monthly which I really should not do. But I can’t help myself. It has already been three months. I’m too embarrassed to even share the name of the app. Let’s just say its target audience is not in my age bracket. Yet here we are.
2. I love this one pop artist. I’m too embarrassed to even mention his name. Liking him goes against everything I believe in where music is concerned. Well, maybe not everything. He’s undeniably talented, in my opinion. But I’m too old for him. Again with the age thing.
3. I have totally inappropriate celebrity crushes. I don’t mean Chris Hemsworth. He’s totally appropriate. My fantasies about him aren’t, but that’s another post. Not talking about Alex O’Loughlin either. Again, he’s appropriate, my fantasies are not. Anyway [I’m totally distracted now]… I’m talking about younger guys. I guess in my head, I’m still twenty-ish so my impure thoughts seem okay. But if I dwell on numbers, I feel like a creep. And kind of dirty. But… don’t worry… they’re all legal. I’m not a sicko.
4. Hm… thinking back to #2… and maybe blaming my daughter [at least a little] for this, I like a few pop artists. Or maybe pop songs is a better way to put it because I definitely cannot commit to 99% of these artists. [In some cases, I use the term ‘artist’ loosely.] Having been a music snob [or at least my definition of one] for most of my life [that is to say, ‘pop music sucks’], I find this incredibly embarrassing. I still find a ton of popular music to be total crap. It’s so bad it makes me cry. But some music I’ve come to enjoy is really really embarrassing. Sometimes, I won’t even leave it on the car radio if someone else is with me because no one can know. But if I’m alone, all bets are off. Fuck. What has happened to me?
I’m stopping now.
p.s.— No guessing! I’m not going to tell you the name of the app or the pop star or the celebrity crushes or any of the other music I’ve been secretly enjoying… so don’t even guess. My lips are sealed. Except to input the hidden chocolate.
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