I was just thinking | e/embarrassing #atozchallenge

I was just thinking | whatsandrathinks

I hide things. Not in a literal sense. Well, I guess there are a couple of things I hide in a literal sense… my chocolate stash, my adult toy. But the non-literal hidden things—they are mostly embarrassing as hell. I’m ashamed, in some cases more deeply than others.

Embarrassing things about me.
[The list will be short as I don’t think I can humiliate myself quite that much all in one shot.]

1. I am addicted to a certain app. I can’t stop. I’ve even paid to get rid of the ads, which, in this app, only takes them away for a month. If I continue down this road of addiction, I’m going to keep paying monthly which I really should not do. But I can’t help myself. It has already been three months. I’m too embarrassed to even share the name of the app. Let’s just say its target audience is not in my age bracket. Yet here we are.

2. I love this one pop artist. I’m too embarrassed to even mention his name. Liking him goes against everything I believe in where music is concerned. Well, maybe not everything. He’s undeniably talented, in my opinion. But I’m too old for him. Again with the age thing.

3. I have totally inappropriate celebrity crushes. I don’t mean Chris Hemsworth. He’s totally appropriate. My fantasies about him aren’t, but that’s another post. Not talking about Alex O’Loughlin either. Again, he’s appropriate, my fantasies are not. Anyway [I’m totally distracted now]… I’m talking about younger guys. I guess in my head, I’m still twenty-ish so my impure thoughts seem okay. But if I dwell on numbers, I feel like a creep. And kind of dirty. But… don’t worry… they’re all legal. I’m not a sicko.

Moving on…

4. Hm… thinking back to #2… and maybe blaming my daughter [at least a little] for this, I like a few pop artists. Or maybe pop songs is a better way to put it because I definitely cannot commit to 99% of these artists. [In some cases, I use the term ‘artist’ loosely.] Having been a music snob [or at least my definition of one] for most of my life [that is to say, ‘pop music sucks’], I find this incredibly embarrassing. I still find a ton of popular music to be total crap. It’s so bad it makes me cry. But some music I’ve come to enjoy is really really embarrassing. Sometimes, I won’t even leave it on the car radio if someone else is with me because no one can know. But if I’m alone, all bets are off. Fuck. What has happened to me?

I’m stopping now.


p.s.— No guessing! I’m not going to tell you the name of the app or the pop star or the celebrity crushes or any of the other music I’ve been secretly enjoying… so don’t even guess. My lips are sealed. Except to input the hidden chocolate.

©2019 what sandra thinks

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, sometimes blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Italy, but she would settle for a non-oceanfront home in Italy. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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29 Responses to I was just thinking | e/embarrassing #atozchallenge

  1. A fantastically intriguing post Sandra.
    I can’t even begin to start guessing.
    By all means input the hidden chocolate, but please no other inputs!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Marquessa says:

    I’m going to guess…but via DM! 🤣

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Liam says:

    This is hilarious.

    And relatable.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Funny! I don’t think any of it’s embarrassing, but of course, that’s because it’s about you!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. WOW! I’m out of breath reading this one. LOL!
    As far as music is concerned, I am stuck with ’50 through ’90’s music only. I can’t seem to pass the barrier to the dark side of tweaking little naked chicks, and dry humpers pumping the air on stage. 😂 🤣
    (Whoops, did I say that out loud?) LOL!


  6. I’ve totally experienced #4. And I’ll never tell which songs I actually kinda like. But, the fact is, if it’s “pop”, I’ll be sick as fuck of it in about a week because it’s played on a loop…EVERYWHERE! That realization always snaps me out of it.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. neneng99701 says:

    That is so funny, I like how you wrote it.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Marquessa says:

    I got #2. Now, I’ll have guess at #1


  9. Kalpana says:

    Hahahaha – I found your lovely blog thanks to the A to Z challenge and am delighted to see someone else with many of the same embarrassing habits as me. Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. hahah well, I too have fantasies over mt crushes which I openly write as Fanfics “in disguise” 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. mydangblog says:

    I had to admit to liking Justin Bieber once–so embarrassing!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Hunida says:

    I think we all like a few people/things we are too embarrassed to admit to. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Pingback: I was just thinking | m/m* #atozchallenge | what sandra thinks

  14. Pingback: remember me. | what sandra thinks

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