replaced.

Maybe it’s irrational, but I have this feeling… this fear… that I have been replaced.

I don’t think I’m truly special to anyone.

I used to think I was. I was probably just a fool.

Every bond seems to be breaking… or broken.

It’s probably just me… being me.

Like I said… irrational.

But I miss having something special… love, friendship… something. With someone.

I crave it. I think I need it.

But I don’t have it.

Maybe I can’t have it.

I’m easily replaced.

 

[Poem or rambling thoughts? I don’t know… you decide.]

[I have no idea what the image above has to do with this post but it looks like I felt when I wrote this.]

©2018 what sandra thinks

         

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About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Hawaii where she could learn to surf. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
This entry was posted in anxiety, life, writing and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

33 Responses to replaced.

  1. Beau Allen says:

    It’s a bit of a mix of poetry and prose with a sliding rhythm scale, punctuated fairly often by elipses. I notice you use them a lot: elipses. Without attacking your writing style- because I’m not- can you tell me why not just commas or semicolons or hyphens?
    I find that elipses when used often tend to lead the reader unsure of how to pace the sentence propery, and can sometimes have a disorienting effect on the actual meaning of the sentence.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Mel Gutiér says:

    Muuaah!!!!! Much love to you. How can you be replaced if the part of my heart where you reside is still there. No one else can take that spot. It’s yours.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Meg says:

    I can relate to this – we live in a world where when we are tired of the old, we throw it away and get something new. I think it happens to people as well. You leave your hometown, change jobs and poof, your old friends disappear. In some respects, it can be good to get a fresh start when you leave trouble and painful circumstances behind but at the same time, its hard to get rooted. Especially when you have to move into a place where established relationships are already formed. You inevitably remain an outsider for a long time. In a minor way, it even happens here in our little online world – I think of the people who have disappeared just in the relatively short time we’ve been blogging. Ehhhhhh………..

    Liked by 2 people

    • I had ‘work friends’ when I was working. I hardly ever saw them outside of work but it wasn’t as lonely. Now, being jobless, I have no one. If I was better at keeping in touch, would I still have them? Probably not… they have lives, family, other friends. There is a lot of ‘out of sight, out of mind’ in those situations.

      A fresh start is sometimes good, but I have so much trouble making friends that I’ve never quite been able to start over… which sucks…

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I don’t know if this is true or not. At least here in WP. Just keep engaging, even if you don’t post anything. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  5. jrvincente says:

    I don’t think you’re easily replaced. I’m sorry you feel that way. *hug*

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I think the picture you chose is gray and depressing and probably perfectly captured how you were feeling.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. The V Pub says:

    Perhaps it’s soliloquy? When I get down, my perspective gets distorted. It seems like the forces of nature itself are working against me. The truth is, it’s just in my mind. So keep that in your mind when you have these feelings. You are special to many people. It’s just that a lot of people take things for granted, but that doesn’t mean they don’t love you.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. jizziefire says:

    You’re not being irrational. I believe there are people who feel this way.. I for example feel this way too. I feel easily replaced n I don’t feel special to anyone

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Are poetry and rambling thoughts often the same thing? either way it was beautiful.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Pfft. You’ve got a friend in me. If you want me to send you long ramblings essays about my life, I’d be happy to! 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks. ♥ I think I feel distant and detached. I haven’t been around much… I think because I don’t know what to write anymore. I feel uninteresting and boring… like I have no life. That last part is definitely true. No life.

      And you can send me ramblings whenever you want. 🙂

      Like

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