dear diary | x – xoxo #atozchallenge

Dear Diary,

My God, Chemistry was torture. But I’ll get back to that.

When I told Ethan to wait… when I stopped him… I told him why. ‘I don’t want to be that girl…’ He knew exactly what I meant. ‘You’re not… and I don’t want to be that guy…’ But he didn’t stop kissing me… he barely took his lips from my neck when he whispered to me. ‘So we’re on the same page, then?’ I had to see his face. And when I did… God, the look he gave me was so perfect I couldn’t resist him. ‘Same page… yes…’ And then we were kissing again… and touching and pulling at each other’s clothes.

You know when you build something up in your head for so long in such detail… and then reality doesn’t measure up to your imagination? That is not what happened with Ethan.

I was a little nervous. It wasn’t what we were doing… it was who I was doing it with. I have full confidence in my… abilities where this particular skill set is concerned. I don’t have as much experience as Hannah… but who the hell does? (Okay… probably Dylan.) But this was different. It was Ethan. Mr. Hottie.

I think he could tell I was nervous. Maybe he was, too. Maybe that’s why he wasn’t in a hurry. Every move was sweet and slow and beautiful… well, at first. He was very… attentive. Not like most college guys. Even the second time… he didn’t rush anything. It was just… beautiful. I can’t stop thinking about it… about him.

Eventually, we must have worn each other out because I remember kissing him… and then it was morning. When he woke up, he slipped out of bed and got dressed. He thought I was still asleep. And for a split second, I was really scared that he was ditching me. But he didn’t leave. He sat on the bed near me, touched my face, and kissed my forehead. I had to open my eyes. I wanted to see him. He smiled and kissed me again… my lips this time. And he told me he’d see me in class… which was in an hour.

• • •

When I walked into Chem, Ethan was already there… staring at the door as I walked in. I couldn’t stop smiling. As soon as I sat down, he took my hand and held it. But he couldn’t hold it the whole time. And I couldn’t kiss him. It was killing me. I think it was killing him, too, because he started writing me little notes. ‘Dinner?’ I smiled and nodded. ‘Maybe we can study after?’ I nodded again. And I tried to pay attention to Professor Doctor Strange, but it wasn’t easy. Especially when Ethan drew me another little picture… and wrote ‘xoxo‘ beside it.

I had other classes this afternoon… but I remember very little about them. This day has been dragging on forever.

Now it’s time for me to meet Ethan for dinner. And I’m supposed to be able to sit with him and eat.

Without attacking him in the dining hall.

what sandra thinks

what sandra thinks

• • •
‘Dear Diary’ is fiction based on actual events.
Any similarities to your college life is purely coincidental.
Any similarities to mine is entirely intentional.

©2018 what sandra thinks

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, sometimes blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Italy, but she would settle for a non-oceanfront home in Italy. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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55 Responses to dear diary | x – xoxo #atozchallenge

  1. This piece is cute and refreshing. You capture that youthful idea of love and distracted obsession really well. Nicely written. Great choice for your letter X with the “xoxo.”

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Meg says:

    Ahhhhh… love it! I knew you’d nail it! No pun intended! Lol!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Iain Kelly says:

    True love – Ethan seems almost too good to be true 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. “Even the second time” – Oh yes – a lovely bit of writing Sandra. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Lovely! I adore your little drawings, too! The perfect touch

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Marquessa says:

    I LOVE THIS! And I have to “borrow” how you did the dialogue!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I loved it!!!
    This whole series is so damn cute and I love it!! Especially those drawings at the end. You should totally put a few on the shirts and sell it 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Will surely check it!! Can’t wait to see the end. And like M said you should probably continue it with maybe like an Epilogue or something cause this is goooood

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Yay!! Do so..
    Always here ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  10. jrvincente says:

    Excellent! I can just feel the emotion radiating from the screen! ❤

    Jayden R. Vincente
    Erotic Fiction Writer

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I love the little doodle note at the end!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Pingback: dear diary | a-to-z links #atozchallenge | what sandra thinks

  13. Dinner? How can you eat and look at him? I can remember being so into someone I couldn’t eat and would drop weight. Darling, now I would knock a guy out of the way to eat dinner! LOL

    Liked by 1 person

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