moody monday. #11 #parenting (and more)

moody monday.

I’m having a situation involving one of my kids again. Actually, it’s something I already mentioned in this post… the part about my son. I just wrote an entire post detailing the situation, but I decided not to get into it that deeply here. But I will try to sum up…

I’ve never seen low grades from my son… ever… in any class. He’s always been a straight A student. But this class…. well, in my opinion, if the class was being taught properly, my son understanding the concepts and knowing the rules and barely ever getting anything wrong on his homework would be enough for him to do well on tests and quizzes. But that’s not happening… for him or many other students in the class. We strongly feel that it’s the teacher.

After a not-at-all helpful parent/teacher conference last week and after much discussion over the weekend, I emailed the principal this morning. I have no idea if anything will come of it, but we felt that it was necessary. I’m anxious as hell now because (1) it might not even do any good (and hopefully doesn’t make things worse) and (2) I’m pretty sure this is going to result in a phone call or a meeting… and you know how I struggle with those things.

I feel like I am not cut out for this parenting thing. I get so upset over everything… big or small. Maybe I just don’t have the mental capacity.

• • • • •

I’m still having trouble getting myself out of the house. I guess it’s slightly better… but still. I have a few errands to do today but it’s almost 12:30 and I haven’t done them yet. I don’t know why this is such a problem for me. I have to do something… or I want to do something… but as soon as I think about it for more than about 30 seconds, I’ve talked myself out of going. What the hell is that? I hate it. I’ve gotten a little better about accomplishing things at home… but… am I really just lazy? No, I’m told… it’s not lazy… it’s the depression. I’ve heard that from several people now. But I always think saying ‘it’s the depression‘ is just making an excuse. Sigh.

• • • • •

Yesterday, I tried to get out of my own head. To relax. I drove to a nearby park (see? I went out… I’m not a total loss) and I went for a short walk. (I didn’t have a lot of time to myself.) It was kind of disappointing, though, because the unseasonably warm temperatures this fall have really screwed up the changing colors of the leaves. There was one particularly beautiful tree, though.


Final assessment: Anxious about the email thing. And a little down partially because I’m so tired from not enough sleep last night. And frustrated partially because I am struggling to get myself out of the house.

©2017 what sandra thinks

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, sometimes blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Italy, but she would settle for a non-oceanfront home in Italy. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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25 Responses to moody monday. #11 #parenting (and more)

  1. I’m glad you got out. It may not seem like it, but it does help. That tree is really pretty. Our leaves are mostly just brown or still green.

    As for your son, the teacher certainly can make a big difference…good or bad. Keep plugging away on that one. As parents, we have to be their advocate. And if it makes you mad enough, you can use the teacher and/or principle as an outlet. Feels good to kick ass sometimes. 😊😊

    Liked by 3 people

    • As much as I’d like to scream or cry (sadly, I’d probably cry), I don’t want that to be associated with my kid… you know? But I’m really upset about this. At least as upset as my son… maybe more.

      Yeah… it was a nice tree… but it was nearly the only one… which was kind of sad…

      Liked by 1 person

      • Well, with an Autistic son, we e had to bust more balls than I care to mention….for years. But if we don’t, who will. Fuck what they think of you! If your son needs to be advocated for, tag, y’all are it.

        As for getting out and photo hunting, keep your eye on the reader today, and get that camera/phone ready, ‘cuz I’m about to tag you in a post this afternoon. 😉

        Liked by 3 people

  2. The tree was good, BUT there’s lots more to come yet. Likewise with your trip out. There will be lots more to come. Just try to get out regularly, even it it is only once a week to start with. You can do it, and you can sort things out with the principal. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if they already know they have a problem.
    Hugs, as always.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I often wonder if I’m cut out for this a renting thing too, I am ultra sensitive and most days everything upsets me. But I’m in so I keep trying to embrace it and hoping not to screw up my kiddos childhoods, a never ending weight I carry. Getting outside helps though even when I don’t want to, especially then. Yoga and running help me too if I can get past myself and just do them! Hang in there!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yeah… I’m in it, too, so I have to do whatever is needed. I just hate that everything upsets me so much. And I do everything I can to hide that from the kids… which is not easy! I know there are things that do help me but like you said… I have to just do them but most of the time, it feels impossible!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. gigglingfattie says:

    I hope that emailing the principal will help with your son’s education. I know the phone calls and meetings are anxiety-laden, but I also know you can do it if you need to!! 😀

    And that tree is GORGeous! ❤ I'm hopefully going to a farm or two this weekend and will be taking my camera along with me to capture some awesome colours.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Anindya says:

    Hi, I have nominated you for the Liebster blogging Awards….. …..kindly check it out and follow the format, post it, share it, nominate your fellow friends and bloggers surely……Congrats 🙂


  6. Lennon Carlyle says:

    Hate your son is struggling. I think you did the right thing. Proud of you taking a little time out for yourself and going to the park. That tree is gorgeous!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Glad you got out for even a short while. The outdoors does seem to help. Hope something good comes out of the school visits. I feel like you had to try for your son’s sake!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks so much. I hope something good comes of it, too. I’m a little worried maybe there’s something more going on with my son than he’s telling me but I can’t imagine what it could be and he insists there’s nothing. Hopefully things will improve…

      Liked by 1 person

  8. kimmay7 says:

    I feel a lot like you–the paragraph about not getting things done, and about “getting past yourself” to exercise–they sound just like me. I think it’s great you got out for a walk and appreciated some nature!! Keep going–you’re doing the right stuff, even though it sometimes doesn’t feel like it!!

    Liked by 1 person

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