I’m having a situation involving one of my kids again. Actually, it’s something I already mentioned in this post… the part about my son. I just wrote an entire post detailing the situation, but I decided not to get into it that deeply here. But I will try to sum up…
I’ve never seen low grades from my son… ever… in any class. He’s always been a straight A student. But this class…. well, in my opinion, if the class was being taught properly, my son understanding the concepts and knowing the rules and barely ever getting anything wrong on his homework would be enough for him to do well on tests and quizzes. But that’s not happening… for him or many other students in the class. We strongly feel that it’s the teacher.
After a not-at-all helpful parent/teacher conference last week and after much discussion over the weekend, I emailed the principal this morning. I have no idea if anything will come of it, but we felt that it was necessary. I’m anxious as hell now because (1) it might not even do any good (and hopefully doesn’t make things worse) and (2) I’m pretty sure this is going to result in a phone call or a meeting… and you know how I struggle with those things.
I feel like I am not cut out for this parenting thing. I get so upset over everything… big or small. Maybe I just don’t have the mental capacity.
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I’m still having trouble getting myself out of the house. I guess it’s slightly better… but still. I have a few errands to do today but it’s almost 12:30 and I haven’t done them yet. I don’t know why this is such a problem for me. I have to do something… or I want to do something… but as soon as I think about it for more than about 30 seconds, I’ve talked myself out of going. What the hell is that? I hate it. I’ve gotten a little better about accomplishing things at home… but… am I really just lazy? No, I’m told… it’s not lazy… it’s the depression. I’ve heard that from several people now. But I always think saying ‘it’s the depression‘ is just making an excuse. Sigh.
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Yesterday, I tried to get out of my own head. To relax. I drove to a nearby park (see? I went out… I’m not a total loss) and I went for a short walk. (I didn’t have a lot of time to myself.) It was kind of disappointing, though, because the unseasonably warm temperatures this fall have really screwed up the changing colors of the leaves. There was one particularly beautiful tree, though.
Final assessment: Anxious about the email thing. And a little down partially because I’m so tired from not enough sleep last night. And frustrated partially because I am struggling to get myself out of the house.
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