moody monday. #7 #couplethings

moody monday.

Couple things’ is a concept I stole from (the best) late night show… Late Night with Seth Meyers. I’ve done this once before… and since I have a few things on my mind that, of course, affect my mood, I thought it was time for another installment. (And yeah, per Seth, I get to have more than a ‘couple’ things…)

First thing…
Last week, I had an appointment with my favorite nurse. You know… about all of my issues. We had a brief conversation about what’s been happening in my life and how I’m doing. Then she said something that surprised me. She says I’m doing better. I did not feel ‘better’… But what she said was that we were having a real conversation. I don’t know how to explain that but I understood what she meant. And she had a point… and I never would have seen it the way she did if she hadn’t pointed it out to me. I guess I need people to tell me when they see something good because I can never see those things on my own. I have a friend who does that for me. I must be really needy because I wish I could have that daily. Or a few times a day.

Final assessment: needy

Second thing…
When I tell you something that’s for your own good… and the good of others, listen to me. You know I’m right… so stop fucking ignoring me. Because I will say I told you so. I am that person.

Final assessment: annoyed… also disappointed

Third thing…
What happens when I want to have a supportive person in my [offline] life but I no longer want it to be the person it should be? That was a confusing question. Maybe I can clarify. After trying to get the same square peg into the same round hole for so long, I don’t want the round hole anymore. I wish I had a new hole. Preferably the square one… so the square peg fits. And all this talk of holes has changed the entire mood of this paragraph.

Final assessment: lonely… and slightly dirty

And another thing…
If your first (or close to first) comment on my blog is you asking me to check out your blog, I’m not going to check out your blog. I’m not going to approve your comment. I might even SPAM your ass. I usually check out the blog of every person who follows me. I can’t follow everyone back because I would never be able to read anyway so what’s the point? I follow back those that interest me and those with a genuine person behind them… hopefully both. But not just someone looking for followers.

Final assessment: annoyed as hell

Final thing…
I’m still working on this name thing. I finally thought of one I really liked. But it’s taken… even if I add ‘design’ to it. I can add ‘graphics’ to it instead, but I don’t like it as much. Here are some of the ones I’m still considering… in no particular order… well, kind of… (and all of these would be followed by ‘design’…)

tiny infinity (from a song)
three by five (from a song)
fifth wheel (third wheel was taken)
fourth cup (third cup was my first choice… taken)
…and these are still alive…
first draft
aisle five (from a song)
…and whatsandramakes is available but… I don’t think I want it

And of course, it doesn’t have to be one of these… but these are the best I’ve got right now. Although the more times I read over this list, the more I start to hate all of them. Seriously, this is just never going to happen…

Final assessment: frustrated

So… to sum up… I’m all over the place… needy, annoyed, disappointed, lonely, frustrated… and slightly dirty.

©2017 what sandra thinks

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, sometimes blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Italy, but she would settle for a non-oceanfront home in Italy. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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47 Responses to moody monday. #7 #couplethings

  1. theacquiescentsoul says:

    My thoughts on your things:

    First – Oh, I so relate to this. I completely lost my confidence and I have come to realize I thrive on praise. I have a hard time functioning if I’m not told I’m wonderful in some way. Narcissistic? I’m sure on some level it is. I’ve often heard that the differentiating factor of maturity is that adults do not need validation…I’d like to bitch slap the person who told me that. Be needy, my friend, be very needy and let your friends tell you how awesome and wonderful you are, because you are awesome and wonderful. 🙂 ❤

    Second thing – Ditto. My spouse hates me for it. 😀

    Third thing – I refuse to address based upon the images that popped into my mind – I have no desire to tarnish my shiny reputation.

    The next thing – Please check out my blog – Also notice, this is NOT the first thing I said 😀 But I know you already check out my blog, so this is moot.

    Last thing – I vote for "aftermath" That is PHUKINAWESOME!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you for saying such nice things about me. I don’t know if it’s narcissistic, but I don’t really think so. I think it’s complete lack of confidence and self-hatred. And I need validation… no matter how old I am. Maybe that’s “wrong” but that’s how it is. And you are also awesome and wonderful!

      I understand your hesitance to respond to all the talk of holes. 🙂

      I wonder why you like ‘aftermath’… 😀 Ha! It’s funny… I wasn’t so sure about that one so I almost removed it from the list before I published this post!

      Liked by 1 person

      • theacquiescentsoul says:

        Well, the word “aftermath” has a specific meaning that goes to the “dark” side of what you wanted to trap…so, I think it’s brilliant…
        And the phrase, “after math” is also characteristic of you, since you enjoy math, but probably don’t really DO math as much as you probably did in school. Am I correct? I’m guessing here and I know that…

        Liked by 1 person

        • I do love it for all of those reasons. But then I wonder… overall, does it give the feeling that I should be putting out there to sell what I want to sell? As much as anything related to darkness is “me”… what I’d be selling isn’t really dark… so I’m not sure if it fits. Know what I mean? This is why I can’t decide on a name. I overthink every single one… so of course, I find a problem with all of them!

          Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m with you on the second thing. Most parents are, I assume. I’m completely with you on the another thing. It’s annoying as hell. I like cloud works and aftermath. Both are good. And, I’m sorry about the peg and hole thing. That sucks. And all that peg and hole talk has mind mind wandering. With 4 more hours of work left. Ugh. Thanks for that. 😃

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh… but the second thing… that’s directed toward the other parent here, mostly. Buttface. (He’s the buttface, not you.)

      I still have no idea what to do with this name thing. And when I was writing this post, I almost removed a couple… I was going to cross them off the list… and they are the two that you mentioned. LOL Seriously, I am never going to have a name. I really want something that really means something to me… and while those two sound good, they don’t really mean much of anything to me. This whole thing is impossible. I know it’s because I feel like I need to keep the same name forever for ‘branding’ purposes. Maybe I need to let that go and just pick something ‘for now’… and either I’ll like it forever or I’ll change it someday. And hell… this is all assuming that I keep a shop going indefinitely…

      Sorry about all the talk of holes. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hahaha! For a split second, I did think you were calling me buttface! I kinda figured that’s who you were referring to. 😃

        I’ll try not to be hurt by the fact that both the ones I liked were your least favorites, and on the chopping block. 😃

        And no worries about the hole discussion. It gives me a nice distraction from the drudgery of an otherwise blah Monday. 😃😃

        Liked by 1 person

        • Please don’t be hurt by the name thing! 🙂 Every time I think I have ‘the one’, something pops into my head to ruin it for me. That’s happened with pretty much every single one I’ve ever thought of… I get all excited thinking this is it!!! And then I think of reasons why it isn’t. UGH. I really don’t think it’s ever going to ‘just come to me’.

          Liked by 1 person

          • Hahaha! I was kidding! 😃

            As for the name, I think you’ve had plenty just come to you. You just have to quit picking them apart. Try this: out each one you like on a piece of paper and into a hat. Pick one. Ir hang ’em on the wall and throw a dart. Pick the one it hits. It doesn’t have to be the forever name. Try it out, see how it goes. If it sticks, great. If not? Change it. 😃

            Liked by 1 person

  3. Firstly-great!
    secondly-it sucks!
    thirdly-hope you find your new hole and the perfect peg to fit!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Halycon Prana says:

    I like cloudworks. But you have to like the name, as it is your business.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Halycon Prana says:

    What about cloudburst

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Halycon Prana says:

    Also I agree that all humans no matter their age need to be praised and supported regardless. Who came up with the idea that we are all self reliant robots whom don’t need to emote to one another. Love love love I say.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Halycon Prana says:

    P. S when naming something I usually delve into the history and philosophy of the subject until a word pops out that inspires me. Something that encapsulates what it is to me personally.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’ve been trying to pay close attention to everything I hear or read… and looking in particular at song lyrics… and I’ve come up with a few things but nothing feels completely right. I’m hoping for too much, I think!


  8. Halycon Prana says:

    Also I like needy. It’s shows someone wants you, whether it’s a child, a friend, a lover or a stranger. As a human it makes me feel wanted. And I like being wanted.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Meg says:

    Sorry about the peg/hole situation. I get it cause the similar situation exists here. As for the name, I’m hopeless! I can’t even figure out a good pen name for myself.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. gigglingfattie says:

    EEEE I am totally digging on “cloudworks” right now!! LOOOOOVVVVEEEEEEEE that!

    As for the others: I’m sorry about the 3rd thing. That sounds not good and probably a big struggle. 4th thing I am the same way. Someone followed my blog, left a “check me out and follow me” and I just deleted the comment. I try to check out all the people who follow me too but time and interest levels always play into it.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Halycon Prana says:

    All this talk of indecision is almost giving me an anxiety attack. Jks. Seriously overthinking is the dream killer. Trust me I have wasted alot of time on indecisive mind loops. Go with what feels right and figure the rest out later. Or wait until a name comes up that feels right. I’ll have a look for some more ideas and throw them your way. Hope everyone is well today.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Juli Hoffman says:

    Happy you had a good appointment with the favorite nurse! I don’t always see the good either. Glass half-full or glass half-empty? My life’s glass probably has a bug floating in it! LOL Hang in there! (Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!)

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Halycon Prana says:

    Some wurdz from my research (I just picked them cos they cool, or could inspire alternative ideas) : graphikos, visual , canvas, Lascaux, Scribe’s, Candra (as in can-draw – lol sorry), conte, stylized, atmosphere, angles, minima, polychrome, polycolor (made that one up), moni (money), bubble, petal, stem, lasso, sung.

    Liked by 1 person

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