I never gave myself a chance. But to be fair, I didn’t know how.
For as long as I can remember, I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up. I still don’t know. Hell, I’m not even sure I grew up. [Am I supposed to feel my age? Because I still feel like a kid trying to figure it all out.]
I’ve spent my life trying to do what was expected of me but usually failing to make the right decisions to get there. I tried to follow my heart instead, but for me, that was more external than it should have been. Meaning… I was actually following my emotions… not my heart. It sounds like it’s the same but it’s really not.
I wish I’d never even tried to travel the expected path. I wish I’d done what I truly wanted… not what others thought I should do… and not what my emotions made me do. But that didn’t happen. Part of that is because I didn’t know what I truly wanted… so how could I do it? And part of it is because it all went too fast.
I wish I could slow it down. Oh hell, I wish I could turn it backwards and restart.
I ain’t trading my youth for no suit and jacket
I ain’t giving my freedom for your money and status
So don’t say I’m getting older
Cause I’ll say it when I do
Cause everybody I know, everybody I know
Is growing old, is growing old too quickly
And I don’t wanna go
So how am I supposed to slow it down so I can figure out who I am?
Some of us surviving
Some of us just roaming
Some of us just hoping the world will move more slowly