bitchfest | h – half wall #atozchallenge

#atozchallenge 2017 | bitchfest | what sandra thinks


[I hope you find humor in my rants… that’s the goal of bitchfest… laughter.]

h | half wall

I’m sure this title seems odd… but allow me to explain.

We have a half wall. It’s not literally a half wall… it’s more like a two-fifths wall (yes, I actually did the math). I don’t hate the half wall… this isn’t really about the half wall… I love the half wall. But the path to its existence… ugh.

Truthfully, this is a rant about my husband. And that conveniently also begins with h.

divider dots.

When we moved into our house, a few immediate changes were necessary. Gross pink floral wallpaper in the living room. Dark red dining room walls. Terrible light fixtures. And there was a strange wall situation. Two doorways without doors on either side of a solid section with a window-like opening toward the top, about 18” x 24”. I have no idea what they (whoever built the house, I guess) were trying to achieve, but they failed.

After staring at the weird wall for a few minutes, I had the solution. Pull out the middle part between the two openings. Then build a half-height wall (okay, two-fifths) that extends 4 or 5 feet from the edge of the kitchen, separating the dining area just a little. In the end, the whole area would be much more open and flow perfectly. I measured and drew a little picture. It was brilliant… not only would it get rid of the weird wall, but it would also look awesome.

‘You can build that,’ I told my husband. And he could. He’s handy like that.

But he didn’t like my idea. He told me it wouldn’t work… it would look weird… but there was no real reason… other than it was my idea. We have a little bit of an issue whenever we do a home improvement project. Because he’s really handy with tons of things around the house, he thinks he knows everything and I know nothing. And I fucking hate it. My ideas are brilliant!

Since we couldn’t agree on the weird wall, we moved on to other projects. Separate things. I painted… he did… whatever the fuck he did… until the day he came to me to tell me he figured out what to do about the weird wall.

“I think I should pull out that middle section. Open the whole thing up. And then build a short wall over here.” And he indicates the exact place I suggested we put the half (two-fifths) wall.

I stared at him for a minute but said nothing. Then my stare turned into a glare. And I was really proud of myself for what I said next because the words in my head were not nice. “Wow, yeah… that’s a great idea. I think we should do that.”

“Really? Because you sound a little sarcastic.”

“That’s because I suggested this exact same thing to you two weeks ago and you thought it was a terrible idea.”

“You did?”

“Are you fucking kidding me? I drew you a goddamn picture!” And as I am a ridiculous packrat, I produced said picture. He was a bit speechless… but of course, I wasn’t. “I love how this is a great idea now that you think it’s yours… but when it was my idea, it was stupid. What the hell?”

“I guess it was a good idea.”

“Of course it was.”

divider dots.

To this day… and forever after… whenever my husband has some genius idea that I previously presented to him — an idea that came from my genius, not his (and it happens more than you’d think) — I stare at him with that ‘seriously??’ look on my face. And I say the same two words.

Half wall.

wave

what sandra thinks @ redbubble

#atozchallenge | bitchfest
© 2017 what sandra thinks
Advertisements

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Hawaii where she could learn to surf. She loves music, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
This entry was posted in challenge, rant, writing and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

44 Responses to bitchfest | h – half wall #atozchallenge

  1. Y’all never forget ANYTHING!!! 😜

    Liked by 1 person

  2. HAHHAHAHHAHHHAHHAH… I could tell you what my wife says to me but since yours is about your spouse. When my wife says something without thinking it through but goes on and on about how she is right and I, am so very, very wrong I say “Alaska”. I say it because once upon a time we had a two hour argument where she insisted Alaska was an island… Yep, cause on the map of the US…. well you get the idea.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. tarnishedsoul says:

    The man is the head of the household…
    ….but it’s the woman that controls the neck? 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank goodness husbands are cute, right? They just don’t listen when we talk. Mine says he is, but not really…

    Liked by 2 people

  5. magarisa says:

    Hahahaha! 😁

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh my god …men! Don’t get me started on how they think they know FUCKING EVERYTHING. I wouldn’t be calling mine half wall…more like half wit! I find the only way to get shit done is to make them believe it was their idea in the first place. this isn’t too hard because they usually take the credit for all the good ideas anyway…as you pointed out so beautifully 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Meg Sorick says:

    Ugh! Why don’t they listen to us?!? H does the same thing. He used to cut me off before I could even finish explaining what I was thinking. Love this post. I’m going to have to start documenting stuff for evidence!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. The. Half. Wall. 😂 I finally get to see it above. This wall is now famous. When I saw the half wall subject I busted out laughing. I can hear you now yelling “Half Wall!” You are hilarious! Great post 😏

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Pingback: #atozchallenge wrap-up. | what sandra thinks

thoughts? talk to me.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s