song of the day. #25

song of the day | what sandra thinks
Coldplay again. I love Chris Martin’s voice. I don’t know what it is… there are just some men I could listen to forever… and Chris is one of them.

This song… I try to believe his every word. It hurts that I can’t quite get there. Oh hell, it hurts that I even have to try. I should just be there already. A demon for every day. The moment I realize I’ve had a day without one, it appears. Like magic. Crappy magic. It’s like I have to wait for those demons to give me permission to have a day without them. But as I wait, they are ever-present. They have to be… to grant permission. But damn, do they like to hold it back.

Well. That was deep.

This is actually a very hopeful song…                                                                          

swirly
When I counted up my demons

Saw there was one for every day
With the good ones on my shoulders
I drove the other ones away

So if you ever feel neglected
And if you think that all is lost
I’ll be counting up my demons, yeah
Hoping everything’s not lost

When you thought that it was over
You could feel it all around
And everybody’s out to get you
Don’t you let it drag you down

‘Cos if you ever feel neglected
And if you think that all is lost
I’ll be counting up my demons, yeah
Hoping everything’s not lost

song of the day
If you let this keep playing when it goes silent around 5:30, there’s a short ‘hidden’ track… also beautiful.

song of the day

Obviously I am not the owner of any rights to this song, video, or lyrics… just everything else… which isn’t much… © 2017 what sandra thinks
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About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Hawaii where she could learn to surf. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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26 Responses to song of the day. #25

  1. The V Pub says:

    Gotta break free of the little demon and tell it to eff off! Love the song!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I Iike Coldplay, too! Nice choice…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’ll limit my level of perky today, and just say: you control those demons, not the other way around. Tell ’em to shut the fuck up! 😃

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah… I know. It works that way for healthy people… It’s so hard to explain that it just doesn’t work that way in my head. I wish it would… you have no idea how frustrating it is to know how to fix something but not be able to just do it. It messes up too many parts of my life…

      Liked by 1 person

      • Any luck lately with the therapist?

        Liked by 1 person

        • I stopped going. All I was doing was wasting money. It was “a break” but I honestly don’t know if I’m going back. Shit, even my NP told me she didn’t think I was in the right frame of mind right now and she thinks I would be wasting money if I went back now. I really don’t know anything except that I saw him for weeks and weeks and I don’t know that anything has changed in my head at all…

          Liked by 1 person

          • I hear ya. What does your NP say about all this?

            Liked by 1 person

            • Still making some med adjustments… had a side effect issue so I’m not sure where we are now. I feel pretty decent most of the time which is definitely an improvement… but I still have some pretty dark periods of hopelessness… Again, though, I think less than I used to…

              Liked by 1 person

              • That’s good…so long is it doesn’t make you numb, or totally divergent personality wise. It really could be a chemical imbalance. Maybe meds are what’ll help, when dosages are right.

                Liked by 1 person

                • Oh, she is sure it’s a chemical imbalance. She reminds me every time I see her that this is “not my fault”… which I never fully believe.

                  I always think I somehow just can’t do things or think about things the way I should because of something I should be able to just change… because I’m, like, not trying hard enough or I over think it…

                  And she says yes, it’s true that I can’t do certain things or /think certain ways — because I have an illness… which is not my fault. Like, would I blame myself if I had cancer? Of course not. (Extreme example…)… Yet I blame myself for this. I blame myself for having this since I was a teenager… and I blame myself for still having it.

                  Intellectually, I understand all of this perfectly. And I understand what I should do… how I should think. But I can’t do it… it’s messed up and frustrating as hell!

                  Liked by 1 person

                  • Dang, man. You’re gonna exhaust herself…if you haven’t already. I get it though. Both as participant, and a spectator. I have always had issues of self-worth, from childhood on. Even into my married life. And, I watched my wife suffer to great depths after her mom died unexpectedly. I know what it’s like to beat myself up and convince myself that I….can’t, she….couldn’t, it…won’t. And not being able to help her, when she needed me most. I couldn’t….fix it? Broke my heart. I get it.

                    Let me ask you this: what makes you happy? What makes you want to get outta bed each day? Or, what would make you want to get outta bed each day?

                    Liked by 1 person

  4. Tony Burgess says:

    I like Coldplay. Chris Martin does have an interesting voice with mystery and character.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. stephieann8 says:

    Wow I needed this today. I relate

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Love Coldplay, great song choice too. Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Miriam says:

    Love Coldplay and this song too. What a great choice. Take it easy hey? xo

    Liked by 1 person

  8. theunshackledthoughtsofadreamer says:

    I love Coldplay! Yellow. Fix You. Sky Full Of Stars. Trouble. Up & Up. AHHHHH. Music is everything, a balm to an aching soul. Keep listening to music and don’t lose hope!
    P.S. Hang in there, I hope things get better for you soon. xx

    Liked by 1 person

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