I just want to talk.

Being alone with my racing roller-coaster thoughts never ends well. Sometimes it feels like it’s never going to end at all. It sucks. That’s a fucking revelation. It sucks.

I have never been a girl with tons of friends. And I prefer it that way. But here… in my life – my physical-human-interaction-offline life – I wish I had a friend. One… or two… maybe three. But even one. I’m totally good with one.

Back in college, I had a few amazing friends. [And one I thought was my ‘best friend’ (part 1, part 2)… but that was all kinds of wrong.] I’ve long since lost touch – and geographical closeness – with all of them. After graduation, I made a few new friends. Mostly through others… through means by which I did not have to initiate anything… because I’ve always sucked at that. Maybe that’s why every friend I’ve ever had has been at least a little (often a lot) more outgoing than I am.

But life takes people in a million different directions and none of them landed here with me. And I fucking hate it. I’m not asking for the world. Just one. One coffee-drinking, secret-sharing friend. I miss it. The laughing and the crying and the laughing-so-hard-we’re-crying. I miss the always-there-for-me with an ear, with a smile, with brutal honesty, with a kick in the ass (as needed)… and with a big fat hug.

I am so over loneliness. I miss having a friend.

Because I just want to talk.


Please note:
Should any of you – my amazing online friends – have an inclination to relocate, do contact me at your earliest convenience…

©2016 what sandra thinks

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Italy, but she would settle for a non-oceanfront home in Italy, too. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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71 Responses to talk.

  1. dcp65 says:

    I do feel for you …
    (But no plans to relocate) 😞

    Liked by 1 person

  2. wheredoesthisend says:

    If I relocate you’ll be the first to know

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Meg Sorick says:

    I wished we lived closer… Although we might end up in jail!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. gigglingfattie says:

    Aww Sandra! I wish I lived closer to you! 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Aww, I wish I lived closer, but I’m too old for you. But if you’re learning to knit, make me a hat, please! It’s so cold here already!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Kay says:

    I relate so much to this! I’ve made online made real life friends, and I wouldn’t trade them for the world. But it sure would be nice if they didn’t life thousands of miles away. I’d love just one whom I could talk to and see in person and talk to without restraint.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Being relocate actually was the best experience ever you learning how the world works and the culture and yes it’s pretty suck to meet new people and struggling to find a real friend who can talk to but I think the ideal of living is trying to find yourself in the certain of circumstances… all I say is good luck and life can be challenging sometime but if you relocate in Asia that would be best choices SEA

    Liked by 1 person

  8. magarisa says:

    I hear ya, Sandra. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  9. VictoryInTrouble says:

    I’m nearby! Gotta be. I’m also awake late so you should message me. Do you use Hangouts? I’ll email you.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Lennon Carlyle says:

    Wish I was there to give a cracked rib kinda hug! I’m confident I would make you cry laughing so hard. Hugs Goegeous!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Eli Pacheco says:

    You gotta lotta damn friends here, Sandra! Honestly, I think all the friends we have on social media makes it easy to believe a thousand Facebook friends are greater than a handful of IRL friends, but it’s not true. Our feeds are only as good as the past few posts, but a friend who will come out with you or bail you out (or both) is worth a million on social media.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Miriam says:

    I’m still working on trying to get you to Oz Sandra! I do get you. xo

    Liked by 1 person

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