It felt good that day
Talking and smiling
Laughter.
Maybe that is happy
Is that happy?
It doesn’t feel deep enough
To be real
No need to think
Stop analyzing
Just enjoy…
Oh.
Darkness inside me
Creeping around slowly
My parasite
Waiting, ready
Always ready
Gatekeeper to my soul
Snatching, sucking, inhaling
Anything lighter
Than blackness
That dares enter
Maybe that is happy
For the plague inside me.
It feels deep enough
To be real
what sandra thinks 
Darkly beautiful. I know that parasite well…
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Thank you.
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The darkness and analysis… I know those feelings too well. The plague looses it’s grip in the end x
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I think I’ve got to believe that’s true or I’ll really be in trouble! x
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It’s the analysis bit that gets me worst (ironically I’m an analyst in real life anyway – talk about turning weaknesses into strengths…)… it just completely paralyses me with “what if this” and “did they mean that”… hugs x
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I am the same. “What if” and “What did that mean”… all mixed up with an unhealthy dose of paranoia… yeah… that’s me. And while I don’t have specific education for this, I did do a lot of data reconciliation and analysis in my last job…
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Light always overcomes darkness. And that is the truth for anything. Feel better.
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I know the feeling. Overthinking everything. Oddly enough, it’s common in my current profession and my former once as well. Arriving at a diagnosis requires sifting through a lot of information, test results, exam findings, etc. With particularly acute cases, you find yourself questioning everything… It’s nearly impossible to not carry that over into other facets of your life.
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Yeah, I’m the queen of overthinking… lol. I’ve been that way as long as I can remember. And of course, overthinking really REALLY does not go well with paranoia… or lack of positivity. I’ve got the trifecta… lol
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Don’t you let that parasite take over. I’ve been in that blackness but we can always pull ourselves out. Take care my friend …
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Thanks, friend ♥
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Take good care of yourself. Hugs.
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Thanks ♥
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I feel for you! For me, it’s always questioning whether I’m good enough at anything to be worthy of whatever, love, attention, etc. and even when I know intellectually that I am, emotionally I always question. Work in progress, I guess we all are! ❤
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I am sure I feel those things, too… not good enough, not worthy… but to be honest (and kind of pathetic!), I don’t get much of those things (love, attention) so I cannot say for sure how I’d feel. But I do know me… some days I feel like I deserve things… some days I feel like it’s owed to me for all the shit I’ve dealt with (or tried to)!
In any case, I’m feeling pretty good today. Except for a very annoying car situation… but that’s different. 🙂
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Good! Not the car, glad you’re feeling pretty good!
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I don’t understand my brain but today, I don’t care…!
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🙂
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in love this writing!
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Thank you so much!
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