I’ve always had an affinity for Batman. I think it may be his color scheme (it’s just like mine) and his general demeanor. He’s brooding and moody. (Oh God, this is like me, too, isn’t it?) It’s the dark part of the Dark Knight that I’m drawn to.

But when Marvel brilliantly cast Robert Downey, Jr. as Iron Man, a superhero dethroning became a huge possibility. He’s like Batman, only not like Batman.

The internet is full of Batman vs. Iron Man arguments, but the focus is always who would win in a fight or who is the nobler, more selfless hero. No no no… I don’t care about fighting or selflessness. This is about awesomeness. And coolness.

Let’s take a look…

~ Neither will ever run out of money. And they use their fortunes on ridiculously cool technology. But I think Bruce Wayne relies a bit on others (Lucius Fox and Wayne Industries) for new toys. Tony Stark relies on Tony Stark. Point: Iron Man

~ Bruce has the Batcave under his mansion, hidden from the world. Tony has (had) the amazing Malibu mansion and Stark Tower (Avengers Tower), his name emblazoned on the structure for the world to see. I love that Tony doesn’t hide. But the Batcave is pretty fucking awesome. But the Malibu mansion was gorgeous. But it’s gone. Hm… Point: Batman

~ Tony is hilarious and always makes me laugh. Bruce is pretty much devoid of humor. Always, always, always… the man who makes me laugh. Point: Iron Man

~ Batmobile. Suit that comes to him on command, no vehicle required, and a hot red convertible sports car for fun. My husband will kill me for this one, but… Point: Iron Man

~ Bat is to Batman as Iron is to Iron Man. Point: Batman

~ The best Batman villain is The Joker. The best Iron Man villain is Loki. No contemplation required… Point: Iron Man

~ As a kid, I was all about Super Friends on Saturday mornings. Other than Spiderman, I honestly didn’t know squat about the Marvel universe until much later. Batman was my first favorite. Point: Batman

~ Batman has a butler, Alfred. Iron Man has J.A.R.V.I.S. I am an introvert and a nerd so AI wins. Point: Iron Man

~ Superhero wardrobe. Sorry, Tony. Red and gold? Really? I know, Tony is not a subtle kind of guy, and obviously his suit needed to be similar to the comics. But red and gold is sort of hideous. Point: Batman

~ Batman works with Gotham PD and Robin… and sometimes the Justice League (I do love The Flash). Iron Man works with the Avengers, which includes Thor. Thor is super-delicious. Yum. And they have a Hulk. Point: Iron Man

Final Score: Batman 4 | Iron Man 6

Sorry, Batsy. You are super-cool, brilliant and awesomely dark, but I need humor and sunshine. And donuts.

My hero, Iron Man.

Disclaimer: Please don’t hate me if you love Batman. I love him, too! This was just for fun.