what sandra thinks

I am not a selfish woman. Okay, maybe I’m a little selfish. I did hide those dark chocolate caramels Santa brought me so I wouldn’t have to share. But under normal, dark-chocolate-caramel-free circumstances, I don’t take much for me.

In my especially relaxed state while my lovely stylist washed my hair last weekend, I decided I should do a few more things for myself. Nothing extravagant. I am unemployed after all. But this may not happen again for months… I figured I could swing it.

My hair. I love my hair. I mentioned this a couple of weeks ago – I even shared a picture. But this week… I had the pleasure of the lovely, massage-like hair washing… a little touch up… and a trim. I didn’t change it much… I don’t think. You tell me… [It’s not usually such a mess! It was windy!]

Contact. I told John I wanted time with him. Not for that. Actually, yes, for that, at first. But then I felt sick and vomiting is not sexy. I wanted time with him anyway. So he leaned back on the headboard, and I rested my head on his chest and we talked. Nothing serious or stressful. We just cuddled up and talked about whatever came to mind. Like we used to… but haven’t for a very long time.

Spoiled. I do not generally spend money on things I can do myself. But I haven’t paid for a pedicure in months. And it may be months before I do it again, but oh, I love it. It was warm and relaxing and wonderful. I could have stayed and let her massage my feet for hours. [That, I cannot afford.] I’m not sure I’m completely satisfied with the shade of pink we chose (I don’t have a picture at the moment), but the color is not important. It’s the whole process I love.

Progress. I have been struggling with my job search for quite a while. The main part of my struggle being I don’t wanna. I start having heightened anxiety, on the way to a panic attack, whenever I try to search or do anything at all related. But… this week, I applied for two jobs. Wrote the agonizing letters and clicked them away with my résumé into the great human resources abyss. I may hear nothing but I did it. I know I need to do more, two in a week is not great. But I did this. Without a panic attack.

And to top it all off, today I saw the first commercial for the spring coffees at Dunkin’ Donuts. Butter Pecan is back. My life is complete.

Now, if only that quarter I planted in the back yard would sprout into my new money tree, I’d be all set.

☼