wst february 03. suicide.


Is it true that everyone has thought about committing suicide at least once in their life?

I’ll be honest. (I don’t know why I always say that. I’m always honest here. Anonymity rocks.) Anyway. I have thought about it many times. I’ve never tried. And now that I have children, it’s not even an option. But damn, some days my kids are the only reason I’m still here. And maybe my cousin is another reason.

When I was fifteen, my cousin killed himself. He was sixteen. He didn’t leave a note. No one really knew why he did it. His parents were going through a divorce at the time, but it was amicable. Maybe it hit him harder than anyone realized. Or maybe that had no bearing on his actions at all.

My cousin was the oldest of three boys. His brothers and parents were devasted. Of course.

A few years later, when I was nineteen, my second oldest cousin, also nineteen at the time, died in a car accident. A part of me always wondered if he did it on purpose. But from the outside, he seemed happy. You never know, though, what’s going on inside someone’s head. Not for sure. However, I prefer to think his death was an accident.

[Unrelated to suicide, my third cousin in that same family died at 45 from a brain tumor that wouldn’t quit.]

My point is—I could never do it to my family. I could never put them through that kind of loss. I harbor no ill feelings toward my cousin, but I do think suicide is a selfish act—because if you’re thinking of anyone but yourself, you wouldn’t do it. (At least that’s what I think.)

(click image to view larger)

I have nothing witty to write about these guys today. We’ll just take a moment.

p.s. — I was going to apologize for the serious and rather upsetting nature of today’s topic, but I’m not really sorry. I did want the list to be random.

©2022 what sandra thinks

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, sometimes blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Italy, but she would settle for a non-oceanfront home in Italy. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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15 Responses to wst february 03. suicide.

  1. Ogden Fahey says:

    I’m against it, cos got things to do – however, lucky I don’t have a gun, or I’d have blown my brains out years ago, *if I’d got any!) 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. gigglingfattie says:

    I skipped this topic, but wrote about yesterday’s topic today lol After the day I had, I can’t think about this serious of a topic. But I am very glad that you haven’t tried. Because I very much enjoy knowing you!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: Featured in February – 2022 | Janet's Smiles

  4. I skipped this one too.. cause it’s a sore topic for me..
    But I wholly agree with your opinions!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Danny Watts says:

    I agree it is the most selfish thing a person could do. No experience with suicide but we had our son drop dead in front of us (AVM rupture) To this day, the impact on the family has been devastating. It’s not something you get over, just something you learn how to live with, something to manage – every day.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I think a lot of people consider it, but ultimately we do have something or someone to live for. And I guess that makes all the difference? I don’t really know.

    Liked by 1 person

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