January 29:
How are you changing the world?
This is the third or fourth or fifth (?) prompt that has made me feel like total crap.
I’m not changing the world. I’m barely surviving. I’m trying to make it through the day. The hour. The minute. I’m trying not to use the word “try” anymore. I’m failing.
Changing the world. Ugh.
I don’t want to change the world because even though I think it sucks, I’m afraid I’d only make it worse. That seems to be my speciality. Ruining things. Fucking things up. Doing the wrong thing.
I don’t have anything to offer. Well, nothing good. I worry constantly about all the mistakes I’ve made (and keep making even though I don’t realize I keep making them until they’re made).
I wouldn’t dare try to change the world.
Seriously. Back away.
—
I’m probably jinxing these guys by holding them prisoner on my blog.
p.s. — I thought this prompt was bad, but I’ve just seen tomorrow’s. God help me.
©2022 what sandra thinks
what sandra thinks 
I think you’re changing the world by being a mother and by bringing happiness to others by your writing!
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As a mother, I’m just messing everything up. My own depression often has a negative affect on my kids. I’d hate to be without them, but they’d be better off without me.
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I can’t agree that they would be better off. I don’t know the whole situation but they have a mother who loves them and cares for them and they know it. That is changing their world for the better. And not having that would make their world so so much worse
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I just wish I was better at being a mom. I see so many moons doing so much better than I am. I wish I could be that for my kids.
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I think you also see what they want you to see. Not everything that you see is how things actually are. You’re doing great for you! xoxo
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I’m sorry. But I think you’re changing things by being here, raising kids.
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Not sure I’m changing things for the better, though.
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I really don’t think your kids would be better off without you.
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I’m not really keeping it together. I pretend I’m okay, but they know it’s not real. That’s not good for them.
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That’s not good for you. Seriously, you need to do something. More and more it seems like you’re drowning.
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I’m trying. I had an appointment today. It’s hard because no matter what any professional says or does, my circumstances are the same, and they are what’s making me feel this way .
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There’s absolutely nothing you can do to make things better?
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It’s mostly things that are out of my control. I seem to get more bad news every day. I’m sure there are some things I could try on the few things that are in my control, but I’m so depressed that I am unable to get myself to do anything.
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The way you’re speaking makes me think you’re close to hitting bottom. You need to reach out to someone before things get even worse.
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I am. I have been talking with my NP more often. Honestly, though, other than her, I have no one.
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I’m so sorry. I wish there was something I could do to help.
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Your posts definitely bring a lot of joy to my world 🙂
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I’m glad to hear that. I tend to feel like I only make things worse.
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You’re changing the world just by being a decent human being. God knows we need more of you.
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Oh my god, no! No more of me! That’s a scary thought.
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Not to me😊
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Thank you. 🙂
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