06 january – my inspiration. #bloganuary

bloganuary | what sandra thinks

January 6:

Who is someone that inspires you and why?

My daughter.

I may be a bit vague on this because I don’t want to expose every detail of my daughter’s life, but she truly inspires me.

As you know, I suffer from depression and anxiety. It’s a constant, lifelong battle that I’m not winning. Yesterday’s post elaborates on that.

Through genetics or just life, my daughter also has to deal with depression. Yeah, I feel incredibly guilty about that since she likely got it from me, at least in part. But my guilt is not the topic here.

She went through a difficult time that lasted over a year, and then she fought. She refused therapy and medication. I wasn’t going to force her to try either, so she didn’t. Instead, she found her own way. Is she cured? Of course not. There is no cure for depression. (Fucking sucks.) But she is better.

She did a lot of research. She must have done more than I ever have because everything I’ve read says the same thing: support system, exercise, healthy eating, sleep, etc. You know, things that every human needs, not just those with depression. But my daughter found something more. She found something to believe in. She found hope.

Taking others’ suggestions might help, but only if they are right for you. Fighting depression is not a one-size-fits-all battle. You have to tailor things to suit you. You have to find what works for you. You have to find a way to change your own mindset. You have to help yourself.

And that is what my daughter did.

She came up with a plan. If something didn’t “fit“, she changed it into something that did. And she followed her plan. She didn’t give up. She worked so hard, and she still works hard. She helped herself. She helped herself more than I’ve ever seen any therapist or medication help anyone.

She inspires me for many reasons, but the most glaringly obvious one is that she was able to do something I’ve never been able to do—kick depression’s ass. Her depression is still there, but it’s sitting in a corner offstage now, not running the show.

I told her I wish I was more like her. She told me I was crazy. But I stand by my wish. And I stand by her.

And she is only 14 years old.

My girl does not find these men attractive. It’s disconcerting because I know she wasn’t switched at birth. She looks just like me. 

p.s. — Should I try everything my daughter did? No. She’s doing what works for her. Some of it might work for me, but I have to find my own way. I have to figure out how to change my mindset. Will I drop my medication and go it alone? Not right now, but if I can be as strong as she is, maybe someday. 

©2022 what sandra thinks

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, sometimes blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Italy, but she would settle for a non-oceanfront home in Italy. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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25 Responses to 06 january – my inspiration. #bloganuary

  1. Carol anne says:

    Thats inspiring! She is brave and courageous! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. She sounds amazing. I think that was awesome that you empowered her to decide how to help herself. It’s such a wonderful feeling knowing that she’s doing better.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I wish I could be as strong as she is. She does have a good support system which I lack. Would that make all the difference? I don’t know…

      Liked by 1 person

      • You do have a support system if you count people like me. But maybe that’s where you need a little more help.

        Liked by 1 person

        • I do count you and people like you. I hope I wasn’t mean — I didn’t mean it like that. I think when I think “support system” I think of having someone I can call at three in the morning when I’m having a freak out. I guess I want someone who’s literally always available to me. And that probably doesn’t exist. But then… it must… because my daughter has that. Times two.

          Liked by 1 person

          • No, you aren’t being mean in any way. I was hoping that you see that you aren’t utterly alone. I believe that if you need help out just an ear at 3am, you should be able to have that.

            Liked by 1 person

            • Thanks. I know I have you and some others here. And it’s good knowing that. I just need more. Maybe I’m asking too much since I don’t have the courage to go out and meet people. I have no idea where I’d go anyway.

              Liked by 1 person

              • My support system, outside of my immediate family (and by that I mean my husband, since my son is only 11 and my mother has such poor health and sort of a mindset of avoidance rather than denial), are friends I’ve made online. Only a few have my number, but I know them will enough to know that if I call, they’ll be there for me if they’re able just as they know I’d do the same in return. Maybe that’s something to consider. I mean, I hate people and being around strangers, so why not go with a couple people you trust?

                Liked by 1 person

  3. Miriam says:

    You must be so proud of her. She sounds amazingly strong and resilient, and just maybe she got some of that from you. 💗

    Liked by 1 person

  4. She is a daughter to be proud of for sure xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Simon says:

    What a daughter, I hope she can inspire and help you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Pingback: wst february 26. disillusioned. | what sandra thinks

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