03 january – out of my comfort zone. #bloganuary

bloganuary | what sandra thinks

January 3:

Write about the last time you left your comfort zone. 

Um. I am kind of a hermit.

Not really, but I don’t like people, and I try to avoid them. I have some social anxiety. So honestly, any time I have to be around people I don’t know, it’s outside my comfort zone.

These can be yours for the low low price of whatever they cost in my RedBubble shop. (Self-promotion is out of my comfort zone. Does this count?)

Lately, even my own house feels out of my comfort zone. My husband is a pain in the ass, my son is very quiet, and my daughter is a really (really) moody teenager. It’s not what I would call comfortable. I often feel like I’m out of my depth here.

But none of this really answers the non-question. I’m not sure I can answer it.

Is that terrible? I can’t remember the last time I did something really and truly out of my comfort zone. My anxiety holds me back. If I’m forced to do something—like, I literally have no choice whatsoever—I manage to do it. But usually not without slipping into a panic before and/or after and sometimes during.

I’m ashamed to admit, though, how many things I simply don’t do. Whether it’s fear, depression, anxiety, self-consciousness, or self-hatred—sometimes I just can’t bring myself to do things. I wasn’t always like this. I used to leave my comfort zone somewhat often. I don’t know what happened to make me this way. Another reason to hate myself. I’ll add it to the (long) list.

This may be my first fail in this challenge. I cannot come up with anything to write.

One time, my psych NP recommended a group I should try attending. I freaked out at the mere mention of any sort of group thing. That is way outside my comfort zone. Unless I had someone to hold my hand and drag me there (literally), I could never do it.

I guess starting this blog way back in 2015 was outside my comfort zone. I was afraid no one would read it or no one would like it if they did. It was also out of my comfort zone to share my fiction and my poetry. And I never intended to write about my anxiety and depression, but that’s tough to hide. I was afraid posting about that would drive people away. I suppose that means that was out of my comfort zone. Maybe. But all of that was years ago. (Now I share whatever I want without fear. Well, mostly.)

I’m kind of sad now. My life is sad. I’m not happy and I can’t seem to do anything to make it better. Because I’m stuck inside a comfort zone that isn’t even comfortable.

Imagine if I ran into one of these guys? I’d probably panic and possibly faint. Meeting super hot guys—defintely out of my comfort zone. But I might overcome this one.

p.s. — I hope none of the other prompts shoot me in the heart like this one. I feel like such a loser. Where do I get courage? I don’t think I have it in me.  

©2022 what sandra thinks

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Italy, but she would settle for a non-oceanfront home in Italy, too. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
This entry was posted in blogging, challenge, life, writing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

20 Responses to 03 january – out of my comfort zone. #bloganuary

  1. gigglingfattie says:

    I think sharing your true feelings is you coming out of your comfort zone. Good job with this post!


  2. Simon says:

    I think your growth is outside your comfort zone.
    Happy new year Sandra 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  3. M says:

    The going to a group thing is not easy. I felt it when you said just the thought freaked you out. That is me too 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I think this post pushed you outside your comfort zone.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. bloglifenstuff40b7eba1f1 says:

    I love black coffee. I should probably avoid more people.

    Liked by 1 person

thoughts? talk to me.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.