the perk (the return!?) #34

For those of you who haven’t been following this blog for five years or something like that, please allow me to explain this post.

Once upon a time, I tried to train myself to think more positively. (As you can tell from my recent posts, I failed spectacularly.) One of the ways I worked on this was to post at least one good thing that happened during the week. I called it the “weekly perk” because a perk is something good and because it’s a word associated with coffee (my true love). And let’s be real—any word even remotely related to “perky” in reference to myself is hilarious.

As seen on my kitchen wall.

However, once upon a time six months later, I began stressing out over finding something good each week so the chain broke. BUT! I brought it back as simply “the perk” so I could post whenever I had something good to say, but without the pressure of coming up with a perk every week. It’s pretty counterproductive if training myself to see something good turns into something bad, you know?

I think weekly perk #24 sums it up perfectly. You should read that. I’ll wait. . . . . .

Done? Cool.

I’m still not sure there’s any real benefit to me in posting these perks. If I’m trying to train myself to see things more positively, then the true perk should be when I manage to see something potentially bad (or definitely bad) in a positive light. Look on the bright side, if you will. (Damn, that is so not me.) Or maybe they should be good thoughts I have about myself. (Working on it.) These perky things should not be random good things that happen by chance. They should be good things that happen inside me.

Of course, those things are rare. But the whole point is to make them less rare. Right? Right.

So here is my stupid not-sure-if-it’s-the-right-kind-of-perk for today:

A met someone online who has become a good friend to me in a very short time. (Thank you, GP… again.) He listens (well, he reads), he asks questions, and if I’m not mistaken (and I’m not), he cares. He is a perk (does that sound dirty? no? just me? okay), but that’s not where I was going with this.

The other day, he asked me to tell him three things I like about myself. (He asked me to write them down, not necessarily tell him, but I told him anyway.) One of the things I said was, “I’m having a good hair day.” I know, it’s ridiculous. But something good came out of that.

Every morning, when I’ve done [very little to] my hair, I look in the mirror and assess whether or not it’s a good hair day. When it is, I smile. And even when it’s not (like today), I smile. I don’t even know why. I have no idea what this means. But me smiling at myself on a bad hair day seems kinda perky. And mildly disturbing.

And here we have two fine examples of the human form of “perk”.

p.s. — Perky is not for the weak. Which is why I’m not perky. ☼

©2021 what sandra thinks

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, sometimes blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Italy, but she would settle for a non-oceanfront home in Italy. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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22 Responses to the perk (the return!?) #34

  1. gigglingfattie says:

    Ooooo I love this idea!! Im glad that its back 😊😊

    Liked by 1 person

  2. M says:

    The Perk is back!💜

    Liked by 1 person

  3. mydangblog says:

    Your new friend definitely sounds like a perk–glad he’s getting you to find things about yourself that you like:-)

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Firstly I read your last perk post and I agree- you absolutely cannot force yourself to think about only positive/good things- it is not possible. SO that cliche is trash.
    Secondly, the idea of perk is great but again as explained in your linked post, you felt forced to think that way and even had to lie about it.
    But I just wanted to let you know, the perk could just be eating those blueberry pancakes (Cause 🤤) or the perk could be staring at those two hotties and making up an imaginary world, or even you brewed a hella amazing cup of joe. That’s it. Keep it small. Like you smiling at your hair whether its good or bad (That made me smile 🙂 ) Things you find easy to do, that should be your perk.
    Also I’m glad you’ve gotten a new friend!!!
    Dream <4

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for this. I really do need to focus on smaller things because when I look at the big picture, it’s bleak. Too many bad things are happening lately, and if I don’t start noticing small “perks”, I’m going to lose my mind. I feel like I’m almost there.

      One of my biggest problems is that when I think or say something good, it’s *always* followed by “but” which negates the good immediately. I wish I could stop the but voice. Haha… but voice.

      I’m glad I have a new friend, too, but (there it is… ugh) I hope I don’t screw it up. And, by the way, today as I read this comment, you’re a perk. ♥

      Liked by 1 person

      • Aww, firstly 🥺❤️
        I don’t think following your good thing by but negates it all the time. I just think you’re more occupied with the sentence that follows the but, than the one before it.
        I don’t know how effective this is but I have heard/ read about changing the structure of your sentence and how it can help make you feel better.

        And another thing that I think is helping me, or atleast making me think is the Subtle Art of Not Giving a fuck. I know you said you don’t do self help books in another post/comment but I don’t either. I just find them too preachy. But this one isn’t like that. It’s just this dude talking about his and other famous people’s experiences in life and the plus point is he did make me laugh/smile. So yeah, maybe give it a try?

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oh and also- maybe don’t think of screwing it up. Murphy’s Law and all. Just don’t think about it and try distract yourself with a particular thing every time you think about it?

        Liked by 1 person

        • I’ve been trying to distract myself from a lot lately. I’m having trouble with that. There’s only so much I can get out of my head. It’s like I have this small box I can put some stuff in for a while, but everything I need to put in there won’t fit.

          Liked by 1 person

          • Oh I understand.. thing that helps me shut off my brain- binge watching a serious show, Or, what helps me stop the small box from over flowing is writing in my diary or talking to someone but mostly the former. I’m guessing you’ve already tried that but really writing in my diary, helps!

            Liked by 1 person

            • I’ve been using my blog as a diary kind of. A little bit. But without many of the details. I should write more in a journal or something just to get it out of me. Everything feels like too much lately.

              Liked by 1 person

              • Yeah, I think you should hash out the details in a journal. It does help me when it feels like everything is too much. I struggle to write then as well, I hate putting things down and for a paragraph or two I’m just rambling about things but then somewhere stuff seeps in and more often that not I am relieved.

                Liked by 1 person

                • Lately I have been pouring it out to that new friend I made that I mentioned. I feel bad, though, because it’s a lot. Maybe I will supplement with writing in a journal. I just wish the things that are killing me lately were emotions I could try to control… but it’s mostly things going on that I can’t control.

                  Liked by 1 person

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