I try to always tag my posts appropriately so they can be found easily by anyone looking for a specific topic. I assume that is how some people find this blog. I don’t think there is an ‘official‘ way to know (through WordPress, I mean) which tags bring the most visitors, but I’m sure they matter.
The thing is… one of my (unfortunately) frequent tags bothers me. I’m sure it shouldn’t, but it does. I don’t want to skip it, though, because maybe it brings people here… people who understand or who are looking for someone to understand them.
It makes me feel weak and embarrassed to tag my posts with ‘depression‘. [For some reason, using ‘anxiety’ bothers me less…] Every time I write a post where ‘depression‘ is an appropriate tag, I get sad and anxious about using it—so much that I agonize over whether to go through with it or not. I feel so pathetic using it. Maybe because it’s taking over my whole life.
Maybe the worst thing about this is that I am what I hate.
I have a problem with people who think that a person who has depression is weak or broken or lazy or pathetic. I don’t think that about anyone I know who has depression. But I think that about myself.
I’m sure this is yet another manifestation of the very word that haunts me—thinking all those terrible things about myself just for tagging with a single word.
So I guess I know why I feel this way only about myself. The question is how to fix that.
I guess how is always the question, isn’t it? You know, unless it’s something that comes with instructions. Like building IKEA furniture.
‘How To Give Myself a Fucking Break‘ Where do I find that?
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