When I was a kid, I hated living in my small hometown in Rhode Island. It’s boring, I would say. There’s nothing to do, I’d complain. I wish we lived somewhere more exciting.
Boy, was I wrong.
I long for those days. Nothing to do? So wrong. Not only are there wonderful things to do, but ‘nothing to do‘ isn’t something to be upset about. It’s something to enjoy. To celebrate, even. Life was great when I was a kid… but once I hit those teenage years, I didn’t appreciate it. I wish I had. I wish I was currently enjoying and appreciating it.
Two days (only two fucking days!) in Rhode Island and I feel relaxed. Oh, my back still hurts. I still have to watch every penny I spend. I’m still worrying about a billion things. But it feels more relaxed… more calm… more peaceful. Everything is slowed down.
I truly believe that where I live makes my anxiety worse.
Just move… right?
I fucking wish. I wish it more every time I go there. It’s a lower cost of living. We could have a better house… maybe a pool… and just live more peacefully. I could see Mom more often… I could just stop by for dinner or she could stop by my place. I would love it… all of it.
But it’s impossible. Our house needs work we can’t really afford that would need to happen before we could sell the place. My daughter might not mind moving (I think she loves it in RI as much as I do), but my son doesn’t want to leave his school, his friends, his life. But more than that… we can’t afford to start over. My husband has a good job where he’s been for over twenty years—he’s not willing to start over (I don’t blame him). And my husband is an only child… his parents live less than a mile from us. They need him… and his dad helps us, too.
Speaking of my husband… I’m not saying this is related, but my escapes to RI have been sans husband. Has that contributed to the ‘relaxing‘ factor? I know what I think. What do you think?
• • •
Mom’s house feels like a different kind of home. Part of me feels like I’ve gone back in time. And I feel loved and appreciated and cared for… because my kids have fun and Mom is there (and maybe because someone isn’t). It’s warm and inviting and mellow. And there are clams and quahogs and coffee milk and Del’s and that burger joint I frequented in high school (and it seems like the prices have barely changed). It’s just beautiful to me.
Look at those flowers… Mom loves flowers… and apparently very large swans.
My dad (lost him in 2012) built that cabana back there. It’s got changing rooms inside… a ridiculous number of pool toys… and a bar, sort of…
… although that bar is now really a place for more flowers. Isn’t it lovely?
And of course, don’t forget to ‘stop at the sign of the lemon‘. No other frozen lemon treat comes close to the deliciousness of Del’s. There’s even a proper way to consume this: do not, under any circumstances, get any flavor other than lemon (no others existed when I was a kid—as it should be)… and do not use a straw or a spoon. Wrong… so wrong.
If you’re ever in RI and need assistance consuming your Del’s properly, please feel free to ask. I’m totally here for you.
• • •
[By the way, I feel that I need to make a grammar comment… ‘wish I was there’ kind of sounds better to me but every resource I’ve checked says ‘wish I were there’ is really the correct option. So be it.]
©2018 what sandra thinks
what sandra thinks 
Sounds sooo wonderful!
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I wish I could stay there forever. Preferably without the worries that follow me everywhere…
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That pool looks lovely!
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It’s wonderful… 🙂
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Looks like heaven. (Especially ’cause it’s winter here.)
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Oh… I’m not sure I’d be as excited for RI in the winter… but it’s still pretty and peaceful… 🙂
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It sure looks like a happy place. Can imagine all the memories made and the laughter shared around that pool.
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I still remember all those pool parties we had as kids. It was such fun!
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I love the pictures you share of your mom’s place! It’s always so beautiful with all those flowers! I’m glad you have a little escape every time you’re there.
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Mom could be a professional landscaper or landscape designer or something. Her whole yard looks like a fancy park. It’s wonderful. I wish I lived closer so she could come make my yard that pretty…
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Maybe she will eventually move closer to you?
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Oh I don’t think she’ll ever move. I wouldn’t even want her to! I’d miss that pool…
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I’m in the exact same boat. Sigh.
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I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you at least have a little escape sometimes…
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I can see why you like it so much, in addition to the obvious reason of being where you feel safe and loved. LOVE the cabana! 😊
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Isn’t that cabana great? I am always amazed that my dad built it. He may have had help but I was little and I don’t remember. What I do remember, though, was dad standing in the lower end, lifting us onto his shoulders, and tossing us into the deeper water. So much fun!
I feel so much better there. It sometimes makes me think that the med I take is useless… because the real problems are my circumstances. But… I’m sure that’s not all of it. I’m definitely fucked up. I just dream of staying there. Not that I would have that house/yard/pool… but still…
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How far is it from home?
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Not that far… about an hour and fifteen minutes… But it’s through the city so often it takes two hours…
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That’s pretty close. I commute to work daily for nearly an hour each way. There’s no chance of a move closer?
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I used to have a 45 minute commute once upon a time.
No, no chance of a move. 😦
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Hmmm.
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What?
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That sucks. Even a move like halfway between mom and his family?
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No. It won’t happen. We are in no financial shape to move at all regardless of anything else. And my husband’s job is north of here… Mom is south. He’s not going to increase his commute any more than it just did when his office relocated earlier this year. There is literally no way any move will happen.
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That’s a bummer. 😕
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It is. It’s like… I know what might make things better for me but I can’t do any of them. Totally sucks.
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😕😕
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Looks like a mini Shangrila your mom has there! Time away from someone you’re close to is a good thing. It gives you time to put things in perspective and take a pause. As a side note, pools are like boats. Everyone who visits thinks there great. For the person doing the work, well….. 😀
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Mom is just so good at everything. It amazes me. I don’t know how she knows exactly what to plant where and what to put where, but she does. I love escaping there.
Mom does say that the pool is a lot of work. I should probably move in with her to help. 😉
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Wow! That’s a slice of heaven! I don’t blame you for wanting to relocate – for all the reasons you mentioned, bot just the pool!
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My mom is amazing at making things beautiful. If she were closer, I’m sure my home would look better. That would be nice. But really, I’d rather be closer to her… not her to me…
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I hear you… ❤️
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That is indeed a peaceful & beautiful place! Enjoy every minute of it! 🙂
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It’s wonderful. We’ve been every week for the past month. Waiting for the next stretch of perfect weather…
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Why is vacation so much better than real life?? I’d go visit your mom in a minute.
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I can’t even really describe how much less anxious I feel there. I mean, like I said, I am always worrying about so many things… but when I’m there, nothing seems as bad. I *so* wish I could just stay there…
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I am that way on vacation. Then real life always intrudes…
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Hate how that happens…
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Aww what a lovely backyard, no wonder you love it there. I think that it sounds good “wish I was there” too. 😝
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It’s so nice there. I love it.
Sometimes grammar rules just seem wrong!
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That looks wonderful. Not sure about your husband, but I think there’s something about being away from home and not having to worry about everything that’s inherently relaxing. I was just saying to my sister that I want to just book a hotel somewhere for the sole purpose of sleeping.
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Yes… because you could just sleep at home but it’s never going to be as relaxing as leaving everything behind and being in a different space.
Maybe someday I will post those thoughts I have about the relationship between relaxation and the absence of my husband…
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That sounds like a little piece of heaven. I feel the same way about the place my mom grew up. We go up there in the summers and I feel so relaxed when I’m there. Unfortunately, the house won’t be in our family for much longer. I wish we could take the house, or buy it, or something… but we can’t. It’s hard. 😦 So I totally feel you on what you’re going through in wanting that peace but not being able to get it. *hug*
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I understand what you mean about not having the house in your family anymore. I’d want to buy it, too. I felt that way with my grandmother’s house, too. Funny, though… I hate my house and would sell it and move in a second if I could!
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Your Mom’s place looks incredible. That’s great you took some time to go visit her. I’m sure it was fun with the pool and that incredible swan float! 🙂
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The first time I tried to get on the swan, I kind of missed and fell in… so that was funny for everyone around. Except maybe me… 🙂
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